Marisa

Marissa, no matter how prepared you are, no matter if you know the exact hour Art's pain will end... it will still be hard and we are here for you. I was at a meeting in florida when my dad called to tell me my mom was off the feeding tube and it would only be a day or two at best, I wanted to go home but my dad told me to stay. He said she was sleeping mostly, but it was so hard for me to not run home. He said that he told her 'its okay to let go'.... I didnt say anything, I wanted to scream NO because I wasnt ready for my mom to go. She passed with her sisters, mom, dad and one of my brothers around her... it was peaceful. And I was left with a sweet memory of my last visit with her where my boys snuggled just a little longer with her only a few weeks earlier.
please reach out when you need us...much love and prayers!

May an unending sense of peace envelop both of you at this sublime time. There is beauty in death as part of the cycle of life.
At least that is how I felt when my mother exited peacefully, as if going to sleep, in my arms. Her transition was so gentle I didn't know she had passed until I checked close to see if she was breathing.

Oh dear Marisa, I'm so sorry that I have not been around here much to see that you posted this question almost 2 whole weeks ago. I am glad that you are hanging in there with Art and sitting by his side through this, especially when he had his moment of total clarity.

I remember when that happened with my mom too - it just happened to be the day that her grand kids came to the hospital to see her for the last time. She had actually been pretty out of it/drugged up for about a week (her hospice care was only 1 1/2 weeks)... that day it was almost like she mustered every ounce of strength she had, ever bit of mental focus, everything she had left in her to "be there" for those kids. Just thinking about it sends shivers through my body and brings tears to my eyes. I love remembering things about my mom - because after 12 years now so many things have drifted away. Anyway, after the kids left that day I think the life was sucked out of her, because she didn't make it much longer. It was a special day.

My sister and I were by her side every day, all day long. Once we got over the shock, and saw that she wasn't responding to things much, that her life force had been drained from her, and she was suffering, we wanted nothing more than for that suffer, both physical and emotional, to end. We knew that she wouldn't want it to drag on. She just wanted to leave in peace. So we learned to be at peace.

You are not alone. You will never be alone through all of this.
Art will always be with you. And we will be here for you too.

So much love is coming your way from me. I hope you can feel it.

Jennie

Marisa, if you need anything all you have to do is contact me. You are not going to be alone after he is gone....we will still be here sweetie. I will be praying for both of you.

Marisa,

You write with such love and compassion. You are not alone, we are here with you and will support you in any which way we can. You and Art are both in our hearts and prayers. You come here any time you need us and we'll be here.

David

Thank you so much! Hope all is well in your situation as well.

Thanks Marisa. Treatments are going well. I went back to work part time so that I could get out of the house. I've been doing pretty good. I'm hoping the new regimen is working. I have another session next week and then before the next I'll get another PET scan. I Hope you are hanging in there.

try to add some peanut butter to his diet

Thank you ttisme, I'll try peanut butter with him today. That's a great idea. Hope you are doing well!

Thank you!! I am trying to be strong but it is hard.

Sometimes making those decisions are the best thing that you can do for yourself and your friend. How are things going? Did you implement the bedside journal? Are you mentally preparing for what is ahead?

My heart goes out to you because I understand the devastation that comes with watching someone go through this. I hope that you are taking time for yourself and your own health and well being.

Thanks for asking about my first round of my new chemotherapy - it went well. I also met with my oncologist today and he is going to allow me to go back to work part time, this is huge for me.

I am thinking about you and your friend Art and sending love and positive energy your way. As much as I can spare.

Thank you so much for your good wishes, Jennie. I look at this site every day to see if you have updates on your journey. Always thinking of you and the others on WhatNext.

Thanks for the message. Stay strong!

You are such a good, warm and caring friend. Please know our thoughts are with you both.

Marisa, I am thinking about you and your friend. Has his suffering come to an end yet? It is sad to think of saying goodbye forever, but the life he's been living is not a life at all. When my mom was at this stage, little things that we could tell were good were getting little massages (legs arms, feet, hands) with her favorite lotion. Also, the hospital that she was at for hospice had a volunteer that playing the violin. We asked her to play Aura Lee, and my mom had tears roll out - she hadn't responded to anyone or anything for days. It was the best moment of the worst time of our lives.

Something else, I kept a journal by the bedside where I could write little notes to her, even though I knew she would never read them. I let visitors know that they could also write notes to her in there, and many did. I still have the journal, 12 years later and read it on occasion to remember the good, to think about how she touched people's lives, and to never ever forget the love and sadness.

Just a couple of ideas. Keep us posted. My heart aches for you and your pain.