Patient to Loved Ones: Things We Want You To Know About Having Cancer

by GregP_WN

Many WhatNexter’s say that the only way a loved one can truly know what they are going through is if they hear those three words themselves, “You have cancer.” It is likely that most people feel they are in the dark when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer.

Anger At Cancer

Whether they are going through cancer treatment, chemotherapy, the emotional effects of cancer, or going into remission, many people with cancer just want to be treated like normal. Here are a few things WhatNexter’s would like others to know about having cancer.

"That I can have cancer and can still be normal." -Jamie

"Even if I look okay on the outside, I may still be suffering emotionally, mentally, or financially."   - lovekitties

"That cancer makes a person emotionally vulnerable and that it is important to be sensitive to their feelings." -lynn1950

"That each person with cancer is different, and their journey is unique. Just because something worked for another loved one with cancer does not mean it will work for me." -hummingbird

"That I will not be positive all the time. Sometimes cancer patients just need to vent or be realistic and then be positive the next day. Extreme optimism may bother some people." -HHWIJN

"That the best way to treat me is like normal." -Brooklynchele

"That it is important to visit the person. Money, phone calls, text messages and emails are very considerate, but can never replace the human touch felt during a human visit." -Donnaakins

"That a lot of the patient’s time with cancer will take place at home and sometimes the best thing you can do is just go and sit with them in their own home." -Bashiemn

"That I am not my diagnosis." -akristine

"That I may forget things, due to chemo brain, treatment, or fatigue and may not be as reliable as I was when I didn’t have cancer." -nancyjac

"That I probably won’t reach out for help so just do it!" -SandiD

"Just stick around. A lot of friends ran when they found out I had cancer, but those that stuck around meant the most." -Effiemae

"That I will have fear of recurrence no matter what you or the doctors tell me." -RnayRiv

"That you shouldn’t shy away from talking about cancer. Sometimes we just need someone to listen." -hegerock

"That it feels good just to have a normal conversation about the day's news, a good book or movie, anything other than cancer." -Blue

"That just because chemo is over does not mean that the battle is over." -BB23

"That they are not the experts and I rely on my doctors for advice." -ruthieq

"That sometimes all you need to say is “I’m sorry you are going through this.” -pat7-21-2010

"That I get more tired more easily and therefore will need more help with simple tasks than I used to." -barbershopgirl

"That they should be respectful of my treatment decision even if they do not agree." -nocancer2013

Hopefully these things will help you friends, family members, and caregivers who has a loved one with cancer. What are some more things you personally wish people knew about having cancer? Caregivers, is there anything you would like your loved one with cancer to know?

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