Lloyd Martin speaking at his book release party
I recently asked on WhatNext if a woman should leave her husband after prostate cancer and 29 years of marriage. I will not address the answers here but only to say that all who answered no are my favorite. I will further say now that this happened to a friend of mine in Philadelphia. The circulated talk of which convinced the lady (noticed my insinuation) was that her husband would not be of any more use to her. That is folks that he was a walking dead, he wouldn't be able to stallion her any more, and since she got to have it like the girl in the Spike Lee movie, she was outta there.
I felt it for this brother when he told me and my wife with his head held down low, what his situation was.
The information is false at best and misleading at the worst. When I was diagnosed with the disease, and decided to do the robotic surgery, we were convinced that the doctor could save the nerves to enable me to jump back in the saddle. He in fact had a reputation for that. He had concerns as to why I was overly concerned about that and when he say my beautiful wife of 17 years my junior he jokingly told me he then knew why.
I had a scary moment though when after I thought everything was back in place and I could test the waters. There was no response from that sonar as I said in my book, Prostate Cancer And Me…Or You, The two Stages, (Man To Man). As I agonized over this my dear wife assured me that she did not marry me for Sex, and that I shouldn’t worry. She did however, made it a point of her duty to come with me to my doctor to discuss this roadblock. I will admit that my wife was not joking when she inquired about the nerve saving thing. My Urologist then assured us that it was still early in the process and the nerves hadn’t healed as yet.
In the interim he wanted me to use the pump to keep the blood flowing as not using it will be losing it. He talked to us about stimulation and the various methods of such. He went as far as telling me that penal penetration was not the only way to please a woman, and if I wanted him to draw me diagrams.
So with hope riding shotgun we sallied forth. I was not depressed any more and became proactive in regularly exercising with the pump, the hand etc. My wife did not leave me but helped with her comforting words, her healing touches and her reassuring kisses.
Today 6 years after, we continue to be happy. Sometimes I think that after the surgery I have even gotten better. There has been no slowing down and we continue to please each other immensely.
So I have to ask what if that lady had access to positive information instead of what flows through the gutters of our subcultures? Would she had left her husband after the surgery? Maybe, maybe not. What if she hadn't listened to those girls group at the bar and hardcore women, would she have saved her marriage? Maybe, maybe not.
May we continue to flock as birds of the same survival feathers on this forum working and sharing with each other. May the Whatnext fire continue to burn consumingly, getting rid of negatives shrubs, the deadwood of doubts and carrion of misinformation, as we continue to survive, not necessarily to save the world. I sincerely hope this article will be helpful to shed some light on PROSTATE CANCER AND IMPOTENCE.
Lloyd Martin is Husband, Father, Prostate Cancer Survivor and Author, you can view his website at www.prostatecancersvr.com, for more information of his personal survival story and information about his book, "Prostate Cancer And Me...Or You, The Two Stages, (Man To Man)"