Nat82's Journey with Cervical Cancer

Patient: Cervical Cancer

Patient Info: Currently in active treatment (initial surgery, receiving chemo rounds/radiation), Diagnosed: over 5 years ago, Female

  1. 1
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
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    Relationship issues

    Oh No

    Bleeding between periods and starting to feel awkward in the boudoir

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  2. 2
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
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    First abnormal pap since 2007

    Other Care

    I had a scare then, but it passed. This time, abnormal cells were showing in two places and my GP could see dysplasia but thought it was just minor stuff caused by hormonal contraceptive pills. Sent me for a "quick" and "painless" biopsy "just to look more closely with a microscope". That's not at all what the biopsies are like here.

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  3. 3
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
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    Problem with doctor

    Oh No

    I went for a routine prescription renewal at a walk-in clinic and the doc very sternly told me I had to go for painful tests immediately because I was at risk, showing multiple early warning signs of cancer.

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  4. 4
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
    Nat82's Avatar

    Biopsy

    Procedure or Surgery

    Local anesthetic did little to prevent pain, and I thought I was being a wimp about it when nobody else was complaining of pain as much as I was afterward, so I sat my 20 minutes in the recovery chair, drank juice, and went home. I bled through two pairs of pants while wearing maxi pads. There was blood all over my apartment. I was delerious. I couldn't clean myself up fast enough to stop the bleeding. My partner was out with another woman. I didn't want to cause a fuss by getting an ambulance. The telephone health assistance service told me how to measure my blood loss and my dear mother (thank god!!!!!) told me to put ICE on my belly, not comforting heat. Ice slows bleeding while heat would have made it worse. Thank god my mother is so kind and patient and listens to my whining at age 30. She saved me. I have yet to forgive my boyfriend for being away. He thinks I'm a drama queen so I have learned to repress. We have drifted apart. Long story. This was the beginning of long-term side effects. Gyno says he must have accidentally cut a blood vessel and that it rarely happens (less than 1 in 100 or 1,000, I don't remember). I wish the biopsy involved either: -stitches -cauterizing -closer follow-up questionnaire -accurate prep info (many women were left stranded at the hospital as we couldn't walk after the biopsy and nobody had told us we would be there for 3 hours and then be unable to walk or drive home!!!!!!)

    Went as Expected: Strongly Disagree
    Minimal Recovery: Strongly Disagree
    Minimal Side Effects: Strongly Disagree
    Minimal Impact to Daily Life: Strongly Disagree
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  5. 5
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
    Nat82's Avatar

    Conization

    Procedure or Surgery

    I couldn't walk for a week. I bled for months. I still have anemia and fatigue and sexual dysfunction. I hope to find someone to talk to here, as the stigma of HPV (XXX disease, something only poor people get, etc.) means I can't talk among my peers very often.

    Went as Expected: Agree
    Minimal Recovery: Strongly Disagree
    Minimal Side Effects: Strongly Disagree
    Minimal Impact to Daily Life: Strongly Disagree
    1 Comment
  6. 6
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
    Nat82's Avatar

    My mind/Sense of Humor

    Loss

    A busy term has ended and I'm on Christmas holiday. Some friends from overseas have stopped contacting me because I can't visit them. Other friends have stayed in touch and wonder why I can't visit them. I look at their careers and photos and growing families and feel defeated, a total failure. I sleep 14-16 hours a day and can't seem to get my energy back. My boyfriend is acting weird. I am heartbroken from trying so many times to explain my pain. He doesn't get it. He is so young and innocent this doesn't make sense to him. I feel I am dragging him down and I am in so much pain all the time that I have no self-confidence. I often lose my ability to speak because pain causes brain fog. I say stupid things at work, can't remember things I feel I should. I feel unloveable and unworthy of money or forgiveness and fear I will never find any reprieve from the constant struggle. Not sure what's wrong with my body! I thought I was taking good care of it, with excellent nutrition. Sigh! Frustrated.

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  7. 7
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
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    First follow-up results post-surgical

    Celebration

    Margins clear!!! No more surgery for now, just frequent testing and trying to heal.

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  8. 8
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
    Nat82's Avatar

    Need more help

    Decision Point

    Relationship dwindling, job performance very low, self-esteem at bottom of the pond...it's time to start seeking more help and taking charge of MY life regardless of what changes that means I need to try on for size. My nutrition, exercise, and relentless pursuit of peace of mind, sleep, confidence, and recovery from fatigue must be...allowed. I must allow myself to admit my pains, without wallowing, or apologizing. I need to rekindle my ability to function physically, so I can resume believing what my colleagues and family do: that I have exciting fun times ahead...or that at least I have lived my life well, to the utmost, according to what I CAN do, feel, learn and give.

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  9. 9
    • Nat82
    • Experience with Cervical Cancer
    over 4 years ago
    Nat82's Avatar

    Breakthrough

    Celebration

    Finished one job and one term of work. On to a new year, a new term at university, new flexibility in my schedule. In other words: OPPORTUNITIES galore!

    2 Comments