Indyen12's Journey with Squamous Cell Carcinoma, Lung Cancer

Unfortunately, my husband was living with untreatable liver cancer at the time.

9 days in hospital. My husband passed away on day 3. Terrible time getting off pain meds after 9 weeks. A lot going on - grief not very helpful with healing.

At first follow-up, It was suggested that I chat with an oncologist, for her input. Surgeon had proclaimed a big thumbs up when all 37 lymph nodes removed were cancer free. Surgery was supposed to be it. Oncologist talks clinical trials, chemotherapy, etc. let me think about it, I say. Cancer research nurse' words seem to lean more towards it is not really necessary. I'm dopey from the meds and grieving. Gee, I don't know. When they call back in a week, I say, No thanks. initial research says Avastin is NOT for squamous-cell cancer. Oh, and mine is supposed to be gone. right?

Cancer is scary, and keeping your head while playing the waiting game is a tall order. I just had my first follow-up at 5 months. Everything looks fine. I feel like I can breathe again. I know that I had a mindset that THIS appointment was the be-all and end-all. When I look back at the moments wasted with worry instead of enjoying life, I'm sad. I work on living in the present, and this is even more important now. And embracing life, not sickness or death. And living. That's my destiny now. I'm going to set this burden down and live. And I'm going to do my best to maintain that, especially as every third month rolls around and I have to do it again. Thanks for letting me share.