mamasdaughter's Journey with Pancreatic Cancer

My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer in June 2011. Multiple tumors on liver, head of pancreas enlarged and lymph node in the adrenal gland enlarged.

Started Gemzar (IV therapy) and Xeloda (pill). Treatments every Thursday for a few hours. Three weeks on, one week off.

Very confused. Seemed to always know where she was, but sometimes didn't know why she was there. (example, we were in WalMart and she just looked at me and said "What are we doing here?"

Tumors and lymph node reduced in size for the first 10 months or so of treatment.

With pancreatic cancer there is no going away, I guess. But in June of 2012 scans showed a slight increase in size of lymph node. Decided instead of waiting 3 months for next scan they would scan again in 2 months. In August of 2012 scans showed the Gemzar/Xeloda combo was no longer working. We are going to try a new therapy.

Mom was rushed to ER by ambulance after collapsing. After many tests, they diagnosed her with a HUGE blood clot in her lungs and multiple clots in her leg. She was hospitalized for 5 days, undergoing heparin treatment. She has been sent home on Lovenox injections that she will have to take for the remainder of her life. Due to her health and the clotting, chemo has been put on hold. We meet with oncologist next week for plan B...or is it C? Well, whatever it is, it's "what's next".

Not necessarily a body part or function, but mom was informed that she will never drive again. A little bit of an issue for such an independent woman, but we will manage.

Alot of talk this week about whether we should or should not put a DNR in place. Mom collapsing from blood clots in her leg and lungs caused quite a stir. Still thinking about this... :/

Cancer has metastasized to the bones. Having alot of pain that even morphine isn't helping relieve. Switched over to liquid oxy (oxy-fast) and that seems to be doing a better job.

We brought Hospice on board a couple weeks ago and it was the best decision ever made. It has been such a relief. And the nurses and aides love Mama and her sassiness. She is giving them a run for their money!

Mama is, for the most part, bedridden. Catheter has been put in place. Too many falls and too much of a fall risk to continue letting her out of bed too often. She feels she has lost her independence and her dignity. It's been an emotional experience for all of us on one level or another.

Mama passed away on November 4 around 9:30 p.m. It was very peaceful and just not as horrible as we were all expecting. Still sad, but comforting to know that even in her death she was still taking care of us. She was an amazing woman and I stand in awe of her, always have, but now just even more.