Lafflady's Journey with Breast Cancer

I was always failing my mammogram... I had lots of cysts. Finally one was malignant. Anyone can read my blog "Diana's battle with Breast cancer" and read to find out how things went through chemo. I stopped writing after a while since I seemed to be having such an easy time of it.

I was pretty complascent through this stage. I accepted the diagnosis and treatment: lumpectomy.

I passed through chemo easily with only three infusions an minimal side effects to start. The only unusual side effect has been light headedness. Then a year or so later, I figured out I may have peripheral neuropathy. I now have tingling and numbness in my hands and feat. Also no one warned me about chemo brain. My family doesn't know what to think when I forget things, or do not remember conversations. But I kept healthy and active by drinking tons of water and playing tennis the entire time.

I'm still waiting for the possibility that my left breast will look normal some day.... guess not. The radiated breast is not only misshapen, but the nipple is a weird color and shape now. You could put a piece of cardboard between the two breasts, take separate pictures, and line them up with other breasts. You would not be able to match which breasts belonged to me.

We can start with chemo brain, but I also lost my hair and nails. My gums receded and I now have to use special toothpast to be sure not to get cavities. I've already had to have one root canal. My hair grew back in curly, so that has been the only good aspect of chemo. The dizziness has been the worse...or maybe this neuropathy will be the worse. I am still going to the doctor be sure, but the tingling and numbness is the worst at night. The pain will keep me awake. Also the depression, anxiety and moodiness with hot flashes has been pretty miserable. It's like living with constant PMS or never adjusting to menopause. Family and friends seem to want me "do something, get over it." I just want to kill. Before diagnosis I had gone with nine years of therapy and drug experimentation to deal with menopausal depression. We figured that I'd been depressed my entire life and didn't really know it because that was the way I was. My body lacked enough estrogen and testosterone ... so I was angry, irritable and moody even as a child. The docs game me huge daily doses of estrogen (three patches at all times, changing one patch daily). Life become wonderful...until cancer. My cancer was estrogen dependent, so I was not only taken off of estrogen but put an arimidex to stop all production of estrogen. I can deal with the depressions due to all that therapy...but it is so mind boggling tiresome to be depressed or hyper all the time...and to have to moderate my moods not only day to day but hour to hour. I am single and live alone, so there's no real family support.

During this last year, I have had 12 surgeries, not all directly connected to the breast cancer. I've also had two melanomas removed, one from each shoulder; a prolapsed rectum repaierd; and I've had partial knee replacement surgery. I'm looking for some support somewhere. Some advice on what to do next, and some advice on how to deal with my family. My son and his wife just had a baby, so they are totally focused on my new granddaughter, who really is a joy and a gem.

I am a year out of all chemo and radiation and have just now diagnosed myself with peripheral neuropathy. Why, when I mentioned all the various symptoms, none of them put them together is really aggravating. So google chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy, get the symptoms and see how many you have, I have: poor balance (falling too much) , weakened muslces, tingling in the hands to the point of numbness, creepy leg muslce tics, odd feelings in the feet. I've ready there is stuff out there to help repair those damaged nerves. I seriously feel the doctors should have been on this sooner and saved me months of fear.