Shantel's Journey with Non-Small Cell, Lung Cancer

I would like to start from the very beginning. My mother is a outgoing, outspoken, loving, caring, hilarious person! She never lets anything get her down. She has always been my number one cheerleader all through school and watching me grow up as a young lady. Her theory in life is to always enjoy every minute of the day. Always to have a good time, and don't stress about the little things. But then our lives changed in October 2009'. My mother was (YES) a smoker as they say. She was a smoker for 32 yrs. But lung cancer never crossed our minds. My mother was healthy as a horse! She had a stress test done, early that same year. And guess what? She tested fantastic, no problems Doc says. But I would like for you to stop smoking! My mother was always the type to say ok Doc, geezzzz and would smile. She would say, if my only problem is smoking in these days. I'm doing pretty good! I keep my nose clean, and don't drink or do drugs. I had agreed with what my mother would say, cause I was a smoker myself at that time. My mother and I were very close, like best friends. We supported each other on any matter good and the bad. She has always inspired me in life to never let anything get you down. Everything happens for a reason. We take it in strides and don't rush through things. But all those things and inspirations were lost on that day in October when doc pulls us in the room, and those words come out.... YOU HAVE CANCER....... what? what? what? She has Cancer?..... I have to say.. How do you respond to that? We just sat there on those ice cold chairs stairing at each other. My mind is yelling NO! ITS NOT REAL! NONONO! But I couldn't let my mother see how devestated I was at that moment. All I wanted to do is hold her, comfort her. Forget about me or how I felt.....I couldn't believe it! All I kept thinking was my mother was only 45 years old at that time. She was way too young to go now! Why would God take her from me so soon! At that time I was only 24 years old. I was just starting my life, college prep and which school to go to. Purchasing a home and starting my life with my mother by my side every minute. And in my eyes...... it had all fallen apart. My heart is goin a thousand miles an hour. And every emotion a human body has was all at once, anger!!!! sad!!! cry!!!........ and the biggest question? WHY?. Even though I'm fallen apart, and don't know where to turn. My mother sits there and looks into my eyes and says...... It will be... OK, we can make it through this! Even though the most devastating news just occurred, she always kept positive about. At times it felt like she was the one who kept ME going and inspired me. It wasn't always good glory, she still had her questions WHY? or WHY ME? WHY NOW? And all I knew in my heart to do was not give her some words, but to be there for her. Give her a random hug and kiss, just to let them know you are there. Sometimes the best thing are not even words. It's just looking at them and letting them know you are there and ......I Love You.