bizzibee's Journey:

After having a collapsed lung, as a result of the lung biopsy, and a week stay in the hospital to resolve the collapsed lung, I needed to get away to be able to make my decision on whether to take chemo or not. My best friend and I went to the Texas coast where I can always relax and clear my head. We didn't talk much about my diagnosis or what my decision was going to be. We watched the waves come and go, felt the constant wind, smelled the smells of the coast and watched the seagulls soar overhead. I was SO very AFRAID because my brother had had leukemia and had had stem cell transplant that went into graft versus host and he died (6 years younger than me) in 2007. He had suffered so much thru his ordeal. My father had died (2001)of the same leukemia that my brother had only without any treatment because of his age. I have a son and his family that I love dearly and I really wanted to be around to see the grandkids grow up into responsible adults. What I really WANTED WAS TO LIVE! So, my decision was to bite the bullet and accept the treatments.

My regimen was Taxol, Carboplatin, and Avastin per IV port every three weeks for six times. They really hit me hard. I had so much pain for the first three treatments....................I felt that there were loads of people standing around me that were throwing needles, knives, pins, anything sharp at me..........I would jump when the pain would hit. I was on pretty heavy duty pain drugs for the first three treatments for at least a week after the treatment. I went for my fourth treatment and I was so weak that I could hardly walk. The oncologist stated "we've beaten you up pretty bad". I was in total agreement! He decided to "lighten" the dose and then the pain was not as bad.............much more tolerable. The whole oncology Team was so kind and considerate and attentive.

The peripheral neuropathy of both of my hands and feet is somewhat bothersome.........................BUT, I am alive! I can crochet even tho my hands and fingers are numb..................I can walk, very carefully, even tho my feet-up to my ankes- are numb. They, the oncology Team, say that the peripheral neuropathy may go away eventually. It's been a year and a half since diagnosis and if this is all I have to deal with, I shall NOT complain!

When I heard those words.....................it was almost unbelievable! WOW! But then the FEAR hit me as well. WHY? Because I knew the cancer cells were still there..........they just had ceased to grow. The oncologist said that there were no clinical trials to identify that the Avastin (chemo drug) was why my cells stopped growing. My blood counts are and have been "top of the line"....nothing abnormal. The oncologist gave me the choice of stopping the Avastin, which I get every three weeks by IV port, or continuing it. I thought about it for a minute and then looked at him and said..................God is working miracles here and I think He has Avastin as His tool so I want to continue to get it. So every three weeks, I go to the Texas Oncology clinic here in Austin and receive my Avastin. I get CT scans every three months................next one is in October. I feel good and have just about 100% of my original strength back. I plan to be around for awhile yet. I have things to do, people to see, and places to go.