Crash's Journey:

I was about to turn 21, my left nut had gotten larger, and didn't respond to injury. I'd thump it with my index finger, and it wouldn't hurt. I knew something was wrong. I went to the doctor, he said it was an infection and put me on an antibiotic, nothing changed, I went to a Urologist and he put me in the hospital, and told me that it was more than likely cancer. They cut out my left nut, sure enough. I had 3 types of cancer. I had Seminoma, embryoneal carcinoma, and choriocarcinoma. At the time of diagnosis the first two responded to treatment.,and the third didn't respond to anything. I had been diagnosed with a cancer for which there was no cure.

I can't remember the surgeon's name at the moment, but he was an Emory grad. and he did a good job. He got mad when they undraped me for surgery and saw that I'd taken a magic marker and written, "Look's like a tough shot Doc, better use a nine iron.", and "You get no bread with one meatball".

This one was a XXX. The surgery was fine, but for some reason I tried to come out of the recovery room with no more pain medication. I tried to subdue and control my pain through will power. Big mistake. Cursed like a drunken sailor being filleted alive, and then took my drugs and shut up.

Well, for the first year they just gave me sterile vinblastine sulfate, chlorambucil, and Bleomycin. There were no drugs that would kill the choriocarcinoma. This was weird. You otherwise feel fine, but you've been diagnosed with a disease that will kill you. You don't know when, but you've been told you're going to die and you feel fine and your in your early 20's.

I was drugged, and lying on the surgery table when Dr. Mansour walks over to tell me and tells me that someone forgot to autoclave the scope that he planned to use to look into my mediasteinum,, would it be okay if he took out my rib? I said, "You'll put it back, right?" He said, "It doesn't work like that. Cartilage doesn't grow back. Once I remove it, it will be gone." I thought about it. "I need this surgery to live right? I need this surgery so they can see into my chest to see if there's more cancer. "I'll be able to see better if the rib is removed." he said. The drugs made me hazy. "Okay." I said. I'm alive so I really shouldn't complain about the gash and dent in my chest. I found a woman who loves me anyway!

The doc offered to save my sperm "Just in case." I didn't have a job, didn't have any money. This isn't going to be free, I thought. Maybe they're wrong. Maybe it'll still work. It took me over ten years before I realized that I wasn't going to be able to be a Dad.

Dr. Dan Nixon and Dr. Martin York were my oncologists. Man, was I lucky. Dr. Dan said that there was a drug at MD Anderson that they were having a lot of success with. It was called Cisplatin. "I want to try it." I said. "The only way for you to get it is to be on a clinical trial to see how much of it a body can stand." "When do we start?" I replied. It lasted two years. There were two one week periods where I received a continuous I.V. drip, and that was followed by a maintenance dose every three weeks for the remainder of the two years.

So, I had a year's worth of chemo that they knew wouldn't cure me, but maybe it would buy me some more time. Then I had a year off because there was nothing else to do. Then I heard that at MD Anderson they were having really good success with a drug called Cisplatin. I told Dr.'s Nixon and York, "I want to try that drug.". Dr. Nixon said, "The only way you can get that drug is to be on a clinical trial to see how much of it a body can stand." "Okay" says I. "It will last two years" says Dr. Dan. "When do we start?" I replied.

The doc offered to save my sperm, but I thought, "I'm out of work, I don't have a job. How can I pay for that. Maybe I'll still be able to be a father. It took me ten more years before I finally realized that I was shooting blanks.

After effects: http://annonc.oxfordjournals.org/content/24/3/749.short?rss=1