Diagnosed - 2xSurvivor

Oh No Associated with Breast Cancer. Posted on September 7, 2012 View this journey (10 Experiences)

About nine and a half years after that first diagnosis, I learned that I had cancer again in the same breast. I had just decided to go to law school and was beginning to study for the Law School Admission Test. The diagnosis didn't stop me; I figured that God had gotten me through one cancer adventure with flying colors and that He could get me through another one just as well. I continued studying--until my oncologist told me not to even think of taking the LSAT until at least six months post-chemo. He said that I would get "chemo brain" and be unable to think effectively. On his advice, I cancelled my registration for the test. Before I reached that six-month mark, however, I permitted friends and family to dissuade me from my plan to attend law school. This had nothing to do with cancer but rather was based on the purported cruelty of law professors, who tear students to shreds. I couldn't see myself enjoying that kind of treatment, so I gave up my plan.

Oh, but back to the cancer. I thought that I would simply have another lumpectomy and get on with my life. Then I learned that this option wasn't open to me this time. I got a second opinion, which concurred with the first, and cried on the way back down in the elevator. That was it. By the time my husband (in that nine and a half years I had remarried--my boss, who had lost his wife to breast cancer!) and I reached the car, I had resigned myself to losing my entire breast this time and had stopped crying. The only other crying I did was the next night, when I thought about the fact that it was I and not my now eighteen-year-old son who had cancer. I couldn't imagine how I could survive his having cancer and cried tears of joy that it was I and not my baby who had been diagnosed.

By the way, when my son was later admitted to law school during his last year as an undergrad, I visited the school he would be attending and sat in on three classes. I saw that the professors didn't mistreat the students after all but got to know them as individuals, listened respectfully to their points of view, and rewarded their efforts. I saw that a law school classroom was the most fun place to be, surrounded by bright young people discussing justice, and decided to enroll after all--but only if I could obtain a full scholarship. I managed to do just that and have just begun my final year of law school. My son became a successful lawyer last year and is enjoying helping people who experienced physical injuries. I hope to work against human trafficking.

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