Why me? - azlibrarylady

Oh No Associated with Multiple Myeloma. Posted on May 12, 2014 View this journey (4 Experiences)

Hardest part was telling my grown children.

  • lynniepoo's Avatar

    I was diagnosed in August of 2011, one month before my youngest child (28 at the time) was getting married. I had all 3 at my house with their spouses and told them. I had been having very bad back pain for months and my oldest son had come down to go with me to the oncologist so he already knew. But my daughter (with whom I am ver close, am at her house now after she just gave birth to her first child) was a mess. She knew something was up and wouldn't come in to the room where we all were as she was sobbing in another room. Her fiancé brought her in and I told them all. It was very hard.
    Then a year ago my ex husband had to tell them that he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. (He was going to do it by email and I flipped and said they deserved better than that). So my kids have had a lot to deal with. But we are both still here and fighting...
    How were you able to tell your children? It is soo difficult but we do what we must and know they will support us in the fight. Glad you have joined this site it has been very helpful to me and given me an outlet to talk with others.

    about 6 years ago
  • azlibrarylady's Avatar

    It has been a strange journey but turned out easier than I thought. Talked to my son and daughter in law together, daughter separately, then to both her and her husband. Instant compassion and love. Minimum tears. Like circling the wagons. At that point my daughter was 32 and son 37. I think their age, being married, having children, etc., helped their perspective. I was blessed with a very early diagnosis at smoldering stage, then 3 years to stage one and chemo, etc.
    We have all had time to process. This summer was in the hospital for 9 days with pneumonia and boy the help come from everywhere. I am not one to ask for a lot of help but family and friends really stepped up. Actually made me feel better about the stem cell transplant that is coming. I also do a daily pep talk :).

    almost 6 years ago
  • lynniepoo's Avatar

    Your children are about the same ages as mine so you are correct that having them older when you have to tell them is easier, they at least have some life experience and logic. My kids have been very supportive. I had my stem cell transplant in June of 2012. I was in the hospital for two weeks and only spent 4 nights alone, they took turns staying with me. After I was released I had to stay at a Ronald McDonald type house for adults as I couldn't be more than 30 minutes from the hospital and I live almost 2 hrs away. At that facility someone had to be with me 24/7 so again they took turns staying with me and cooking for me. I was in a suite as my food could not be cooked in the communal kitchen. When I was released home I had friends take turns staying with me for a week at a time. My mother lived with me but at 92 she also had to be taken care of. :) my cleaning person came everyday to clean my bathroom and the kitchen.
    It is a strange feeling to have raised 3 kids and then they end up taking care of you. But I feel so much closer to them and they have made sure that I don't sit at home worrying about this MM. I too don't like to ask for help but have learned people will just do things without your even asking. My neighbors take out my garbage, get my mail, newspaper and yard work. I am blessed with great kids, friends and neighbors.
    When is your SCT scheduled? If you have any questions about that please just ask away!! It is not as bad as you might think from some of the reading material you are given. Hope you are doing well!!

    almost 6 years ago

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