Diagnosed - flyglo

Oh No Associated with Skin Cancer - Melanoma. Posted on November 3, 2011 View this journey (5 Experiences)

I found out I had cancer about 6 months ago. The doctor told me I must not wait because no longer I wait the harder it will be to treat it. I am afraid of what may happen during treatment. First I have problems with my heart so I think that means I can't have surgery. Plus I seen what chemo can do to people. But more importantly I don't want to leave my family cause they really need me now. I don't care about my future has long as I can get them on track I will be happy. my question is are there any treatments that won't make me really sick or have to stay in a hospital. I also need help finding someone to talk me through the next steps. When I first heard the word cancer it change my life. Suddenly it seem like I was running out of time. I keep worring about my family to the point I am pushing them away. They don't understand that I don't have the time to wait. I told my wife about the cancer and she cried at first which made me feel good that she cares. But now she isn't supportive and is cheating on me. I wish I didn't tell her because then she would know about me and it wouldn't seem so bad. If your reading this an you to have cancer and are with a girl you are unsure of don't say anything because it will just make it worst. I hope someone can help me out cause I cry must of the time. I just can't stop thinking about the dying. I worry about them needing me but I am not here. I don't know if this is the stuff I should be writing here but I don't care about living or doing treatment for myself. I also would like to know how to handle including or not including my wife in the future. Well to be honest I really don't think I can count on her so I need someone to speak with cause I am battling this alone.

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