Decision Point - greensmythe

Decision Point Associated with Non-Small Cell, Lung Cancer. Posted on February 24, 2013 View this journey (10 Experiences)

19
Everybody Has a Different Story

Just so DammitDolls don't get freaky and think I am trying to steal their very cool idea- just know I am using Dammit Doll as one of my own personal tools to fight cancer. It may not be too scientific or full of natural herbs, but, Dammit, it sure feels good going down! In 2007, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor that turned out to be benign. It had caused significant damage while it grew and took little bits of my brain as its resting place- but after the six hour operation and a couple months of recovery time- I came roaring back. The memories I had begun to lose were back, my vision was rapidly getting better and I was able to create again. I had a miracle. On November 12, 2012, after tests, CT scans, and a lung biopsy, the verdict was in- Stage IV lung cancer. What a kick in the XXX! I mean what a XXX kick in the XXX. One more time! What a XXX KICK in the XXX! For this little introduction, I won't go into how I was told- cause it was brutal,and I won't really tell all about the many steps I took after the initial diagnosis to find the right path for me ( still haven't really found it- but inching there slowly). What I am going to do today is introduce you to my friend Cancer! Dammit! He is the little pink guy at the left top of the post. Dammit is a doll that was sent to me by my sister after we found out I was negative for mutations ( woolly science stuff we will probably talk about later). In the beginning, when I first found out, there were terrifying moments of fear, anger, and anger, and anger- and deep abiding sadness. Those emotions flood me still on a daily basis- but I read one thing at the start that has helped me get through some tough days. I still want to laugh and make other people laugh so I made it my mission from early November on to find a good cartoon, funny quote or some other type joke that would help lift me up. It didn't matter how dirty, stupid, or off the wall- it just had to serve the purpose of making my lips turn upward. I have found so far that having cancer is the biggest mind game in town. I was told this by one of my cancer comrades. I probably can't outsmart it- but I can still grin evilly at the game. That is what CANCER! Dammit! is all about- I want you to follow me, help me laugh, and laugh along with me as the Dammit Doll and I traverse this foreign soil together. Also, remember as you read along with me- this will not always be a good time. I have already found out some awful stuff and tolerated them too. I have created CANCER: Dammit!!! for the same reason I came up with funnies everyday since diagnosis- so I can get a good laugh for myself and keep this suddenly upside down world in some sort of perspective. I expect to fail at this mission, repeatedly. I don't mind failing- I do mind not trying.

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