Chemo brain - jazzlady50

Side Effects Associated with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma (NHL). Posted on September 7, 2012 View this journey (5 Experiences)

Hair loss, chemo brain, feeling old ... of yeah. I thought that when I start losing my hair that I would just break down and cry, but I didn't ... I looked into the mirror and saw this woman with bald patches all over her head and I laughed! It really did look funny. I was losing my hair right from the start, my head was itching like crazy, and there was hair falling out everywhere all the time, so ... I called my friend (my caregiver) and asked her to come and shave my head ... she thought that I was crazy, but I told her that I was going to lose it anyway so what the heck. It was the best thing that I did, no more itchiing and having hair falling out all over the place.
You feel a little awkward at first with a head like a cue ball, but after a short while I felt like, no - this is my testimony as to what I am dealing with right now and going through right now and it is like my badge of courage for everyone to see, to see that it is going to be okay and that I am a survivor and that there are a lot of us SURVIVORS!
Your hair will grow back, eventually, but it will not be the same hair .... maybe better, maybe worse, but definitely not the same .... and it's okay.
"Chemo Brain" is real ... and it stays with you for awhile, and awhile, and awhile ... ha ha ha
You suddenly forget names, places, etc. that you should know without even thinking about it, but you have these "empty train cars" pass by and there is nothing in them when they should contain all the information that you have known since the beginning of time, but they're empty .... and then hours later when you are talking about something completely different, here comes the information that you needed earlier, it just pops up by itself! It is really weird, but funny, and acceptable because you DO have chemo brain.
You feel like you really have been through something, kind of like experiencing an all out war, and you HAVE been through something ... a war with cancer. Your body had been through a lot, and at times, you physically feel that you have been through a lot, and you have .... so be kind and gentle with yourself, pamper yourself, it's okay to do that because you deserve it! You are (or will be) a cancer SURVIVOR!

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