Diagnosed - Jeana1975

Oh No Associated with Ovarian and Fallopian Tube Cancer. Posted on August 5, 2012 View this journey (2 Experiences)

Finding out I have cancer, only two years and some months after Mom died of Cancer; I worry about Dad, facing this all over again. I'm not so much afraid as I am dismayed and dazed at this point. I think I'm still in shock. My friends are so supportive, but so angry. They're more angry than me; I don't think I'm there yet. I will be, once I find out more about this thing inside me.

I only just got my diagnosis on August 3, 2012. I have no idea what stage I'm at, but I'm guessing it's late stage because of the size of the tumor 30cmx30cmx20cm. They found cancer cells in my uterus and my rectum, with a higher elevation of cells in my rectum. I look like I'm 8 months pregnant. These symptoms have been plaguing me for around a year, but the worst of it has come to pass over the last 5-6 months. Based upon my research of early detection, it sounds like I discovered my cancer at around the time most Ovarian Cancer patients do, when the pain is chronic and debilitating, forcing a doctor visit and then...the OH NO!!

Pain is almost constant. I feel like I weigh a thousand pounds from my rib cage down to my feet. I get scatter brained, and can't form a thought, I have no appetite, I get constipated easily, my right ovary hurts so bad at times I just want to scream. I have friends who are cancer survivors, and are so upset that I wasn't rushed to the hospital to have this tumor removed the day they discovered it. I was told if I had pain, I would be admitted...should I have been admitted simply on the basis of a basketball sized tumor in my gut?

I've had a migraine ever since I drank that dye for the CT Scan. Sleeping is easy now, rest is all I want to do. I fell last Sunday, which I think caused some internal issues (it hurt like crazy). That pain has dwindled, but I really wish I had more energy. I pray that this can be resolved without me losing my life to this horrid abomination. What will Dad do without his girls? Mom will be so XXX if she sees me at Heaven's gates at my age...she'd box my ears.

I want to LIVE! I have books to write, clothing lines to design, jewelry to design...I have things to do!! I have goals...I want to be well!!! I WANT TO BE OKAY!!!

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