Oh No - MyMomsDaughter

Oh No Associated with High-Grade Astrocytoma (also called Glioblastoma). Posted on July 19, 2012 View this journey (4 Experiences)

I am still trying to figure out how this website works and how to manuever around it to get the most out of it. I'm still in an "Oh No" because I'm not really sure what to expect or have no real answers. I am hoping that more than reading about other people's experiences, I am able to use this to express my own feelings. I am 31 and my moms only biological child. She is married to a wonderful man of 10 years with children and grandchildren of his own. We consider them part of us, not "step". But I am having a difficult time forgiving myself for not yet getting married, having children or graduating college. I am back in college now and I have been blessed with a good job and a good salary but feel like I am lacking something in my life. I want her to be there to experience me getting married and having children. I need her there. I called her last night because I had been stung by some bug. It hit me when I hung up(after she told me exactly what to do! :-) ....what would I do if she wasn't there to call. I need her to be proud and happy and comfortable knowing that I have someone at home to help me through whatever it is to come. I know she is afraid for me, just as she is for herself. I will say though, she has the best spirit about all this. I am the one with the dark cloud over my head, and I do my very best of keeping this from her. But she knows.
I'm looking for a way to be ok. And to be as positive as she is. She is my hero.

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