• 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    It's official Cancer XXX up the holidays for me. I didn't get to spend Thanksgiving with my mom and now she tells me we won't be celebrating Christmas either :(

    2 Comments
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar
      Lirasgirl33

      Oh no. So sorry to hear that. :( Sending hugs.

      over 8 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Sorry for that, chalk another one up for cancer, but we just have to keep fighting and not let it win. Holidays are hard when dealing with cancer.

      over 8 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    Cancer is so limited !
    It cannot cripple Love.
    It cannot shatter Hope.
    It cannot corrode Faith.
    It cannot destroy Peace.
    It cannot kill Friendship.
    It cannot suppress Memories.
    It cannot silence Courage.
    It cannot invade the Soul.
    It cannot steal eternal Life.
    It cannot conquer the Spirit.

  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    Well tomorrow my daughter is turning 3. Knowing my Grandma won't be there tomorrow at her party is totally breaking my heart. I'll probably never forget how she was so anxious to meet Layla :( And how when the nurses let my family in the room she was crying and shoving food in my mouth at the same time :( There is so many dirty/nasty things I would say to Cancer if Cancer was a person!!

  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    Well my Uncle is getting a Colonoscopy and possibly a Endoscopy done tomorrow since he's not gaining any weight. Before he moved down here the doctors up in Bolivar said he probably had Cancer but I'm hoping their suspicions are wrong. And If he does have Cancer (which I don't think they would give him Chemo for it) I hope he goes as easily as my Grandmother did. So keep him in your thoughts.

    1 Comment
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      We hope the best for him! Dont' give up the fight until there's no fight left though.

      almost 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    Well tomorrow is going to be a huge day for my family. Were moving my Uncle home tomorrow. He's been in institutions and group homes around Bolivar Missouri for the past 35 years. (Bolivar is 3 hours away from us) This is no doubt going to be one of the biggest life changing experiences for my Uncle in his life. He's leaving everything he knows behind. I know he's not going to understand once he gets here why he can't go home but I'm praying to god that he likes it here with his Sissy and family anyways. As much as my mother and I have been practically pulling our hair with so much stress we know this is the best thing for him. His mental health and Cancer have been taking quite a toll on his body in the last few weeks. So we know that it's best if we look after him now. One of my biggest worries is he's not going to understand once the Cancer really settles in why he's hurting so much all the time :( I don't how well I'm going to be able to watch him suffer.. He's the baby of our family. Keep our family in your prayers that we make a safe trip to Bolivar tomorrow. Especially pray for my Uncle!!

    2 Comments
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Sorry for your familie's situation. We were in that position with my dad. He had prostate cancer that took off and got aggressive, when it did we had to put him in Hospice. We had to have help because he was large and combative, so we put him in a hospice facility that had people there, we helped each other take care of him. We had the same issue, he wanted to know why he was there, we would tell him, then 30 minutes later he would wake up again and say, why am I here, where are my shoes, we should be going, shouldn't we?
      As for the suffering, you should contact your local hospice group, they will come by your house 3 times a week or more, administer meds and check on him, and show you how to administer pain meds. He will not suffer. I was worried about my Dad, and Mom, had the same thing happen with her, took care of her in hospice.
      The Hospice groups are a godsend. Contact one now.
      We wish you luck and our thoughts are with the family.

      about 9 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      Good luck to you and your family, Heather. I think if I was in that position, I would try to make his personal space look and feel as familiar as possible-- to what he had around him before the move... pictures and things... Maybe that will ease him into his new space. Safe journey.

      about 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    I swear I don't understand people... My Uncle for instance.. A couple weeks before my Grandmother passed away from Pancreatic Cancer she signed guardianship of my mentally handicapped Uncle over to my Mother so that the state wouldn't step in and take over once she died. Well that was no problem my mother is actually very happy being his guardian and is planning on moving him back here (from three hours away) so that he can spend the holidays with us and she can spoil him and everything. (Anyways about a week ago we found out he has Cancer absolutely horrible news I know) But anyways my mother got a call from her other brother from Maine just last night, saying he has been praying to God for the last two weeks to take my Uncle Kerrys life away so that my mother doesn't have such a burden on her hands anymore. That is so outrageous! Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

    3 Comments
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      We people are all kinds of crazy and handle things in different ways, with differently formed belief systems and values. I think I would, rather than reacting with anger, just set the example and say that he's no burden at all, we love him, and it's a privilege to be able to help him if he needs help, and we should all pray for him to get better and live the fullest life he can. That way you take the high road, and maybe he learns by example.

      about 9 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      Maybe his brain is frozen. It's Maine. It's cold!

      about 9 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I give up on some people, I just don't care what they do or say as long as it doesn't affect me. You can't explain some peoples irrational thinking. I wish your family well and hope everything works out with your family.

      about 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    This is just a update for any new person that comes across my page. My name is Heather and I was affected by Cancer November 6, 2012 that was the day my Grandmother was diagnosed with (incurable Pancreatic Cancer in the advanced stages) Those are the exact words that were used to tell us that my Grandma had Cancer. She never received chemo or radiation treatment because the doctor said it would be a waste of the last couple weeks of her life because he didn't expect her to make it to Christmas. Four days later she was in the care of Hospice. If we could take back time we wouldn't of chosen the one we did. She did not receive the physical & emotional care that she deserved from them BUT we were there with her everyday from November 6th to the moment she took her last breathe. Her last days were filled with happiness and laughter. She got to spend a lot of time with the family members that she never got to see very often. The day she died was the day that I lost my best friend and the woman that took the place of my dad. I don't know much about Cancer or anything because my Grandma was the first person I loved that died but if you have questions about my Grandmothers experience with Cancer or about Hospice. Just ask and I will gladly answer. Good Luck with your fight with Cancer hope you beat it - Heather

    1 Comment
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Thanks for posting Heather, sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. It is a hard thing to do, taking care of a loved one as they pass on. I have done that twice for Mom and Dad.
      Thanks for offering to help others, there is always someone who has a question about those things, recently there have been some hospice questiions. Feel free to chime in on any question you can help with.

      about 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    I'm totally not looking forward to Christmas this year. Wish I could just climb under my blanket and sleep till Christmas is over. Christmas was my Grandmas absolutely favorite holiday. Before my Grandma passed she gave my mom some money to buy my daughter a painting easel for Christmas. Those are the two things that I cannot stand. Christmas and being around my daughter because I know how crazy my Grandma was about Layla. When I was pregnant with Layla my Grandma just kept going on and on about how she wanted to meet her so bad. And with all this heartbreak .. I don't want it to go away.. I want to be heartbroken for the rest of my life... Because I don't want my kids to think she was just some old lady that use to take my siblings and I to the picnic tables outside of McDonalds to eat Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches because we were to poor to eat inside then go in to play at the playplace.... One thing for sure is we will never forget her and no one will EVER understand the bond we had with her...

    3 Comments
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I do understand how you feel. I was diagnosed for the third time during christmas time 4 years ago. I couldn't stand to go out and see everyone all happy and smiling and having a good time. I was ticked. Being my third time I was told it would be harder to control, and at the time before christmas I hadn't even been able to get in to see the Oncologist yet, so I was convinced I was a goner. Then at the same time I lost my Dad to cancer, and 10 months later lost Mom to lung cancer, we took care of them in Hospice care at home. So yes it's tough.

      I hope you find a way to deal with it, and not carry anger towards Grandma, or your daughter. Emotions go every which way I know, ask the community on the questions board for some input. Lots of us have been through it.

      Let me know if we can help.

      Greg P
      Team WhatNext

      over 9 years ago
    • Harry's Avatar
      Harry

      First, give your daughter a hug and tell her you love her. Never let her forget that. She is a precious person made even more precious by the love your grandmother had for her. Know that you love your grandmother when you love your daughter.

      We all love someone who has gone. Mourning is good and you should remember her. But, try to remember the joy she gave you and the joy you and your daughter gave her. It's hard to get past the grief, but enjoying Christmas with your daughter is a way to celebrate your grandmother. Were there any special grandmother treats she used to make? Make them for your daughter.

      My heart goes out to you in your grief.

      over 9 years ago
    • DeniseD's Avatar
      DeniseD

      I lost my father to suicide when I was eleven. Then in my forties, I lost my sister and brother both to camcer. My sister and I were always very close. The last Christmas we spent together she was hooked up to chemo at home. We were making Buckeyes, the little peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate. I was rolling the balls and she was melting the chocolate. I looked over and her chemo tube was down in the hot liquid. I called her name, grabbed the tube and quickly wiped it off. She laughed so hard at what scared me senseless. Then she said, "Good thing you saw that or we would be serving chemo balls." Then we both laughed hysterically. My brother and I weren't as close, as there was an 8 yr. age difference. When he was diagnosed we got very close as I felt I was the strong one at that point. He was a very religious man, funny, caring, great father, wonderful husband and everything you could want in a brother. Watching him go through this with such grace and exceptance amazed me. He was so sick for so long and on the day he died, I knew it, although I was 2 hours away, I knew that was the day. I wrote down everything I wanted to say to him and drove to the hospital. I gave the letter to his wife and asked her to read it after I left. We got the news later that day. His wife said he cried when she read it and said, "I am proud of her too." Not everyone gets that chance to say good bye. He inspired me to propell forward, go to college at the age of 48, to use my education to help others get that hand up. I worked as an addiction counselor for 5 yrs. to help those like my father who couldn't see a way out. That is how I how I turn heartache in to something useful. I can't say I know how you feel, but I do know the hole left by loss. I hope you find your own way to fill that hole.

      over 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    R.I.P Grandma I love you and I will never forget you. For those of you fighting Cancer I hope you beat it. Stay Strong.

    1 Comment
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      Heather, our hearts go out to you, your sister, mom and the rest of the family. That is so sad. In one way it's better that it wasn't long and torturous if it was going to be the end of the ride. Thank you for sharing grandma's story here.

      over 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    My best friend's mom lost her boyfriend to Lung Cancer yesterday morning after a hard battle with Cancer. R.I.P Rick On the other hand my Grandma is doing pretty good. Think my sisters visit this weekend done her a lot of good. We started her on morphine last night due to her pain. Gave her a little less than what the doctor told us to so she could get use to the morphine. Of course my Grandma is not going to get out of bed but her pain is taken care of and she is still in good spirits.

    1 Comment
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      That's sad about Rick. Good to see that grandma is in good spirits.

      over 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    The head nurse from Hospice came over today and checked Grandma over. Came over because my Grandma was crying because she was in so much pain and threw up. The doctor prescribed liquid morphine for her but he said there is a good chance it will stop her heart before the weekend is up... I hope he isn't right then again I don't want her to suffer anymore. It breaks my heart every night when I leave my Grandmas :( I just never thought in a million years we would be going through this. This women is more than a Grandma to me and my other siblings. She is like our second mom.

    3 Comments
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      Our hearts go out to grandma and your family. When she's ready to get off this ride, I hope she has a soft landing, with no more suffering, and that your family is comforted by all the love she planted here for you. It's a horrible feeling when there's so much you want to do to help, but can't do anything about it. She is in the best possible hands, with people who love her.

      over 9 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I understand how you feel. I went through this with my Mom and Dad It's a hard thing to do but an honorable thing to be there to help her.

      Thanks for being there for her.

      greg

      over 9 years ago
    • nobrand's Avatar
      nobrand

      I hope your Grandma is feeling less pain and the medicine is helping. My heart goes out to you and your family as well-- I understand a grandmother being a second mother; we are sure lucky to have that special connection and feel that way about our grandmothers. I know you may feel like there isn't anything you can do to help-- but you are by just being there.

      over 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    Tonight as I waited to check my powerball numbers online I fantasized about being on a Island with my family as my Grandma spent her last days in a beautiful peaceful warm place. Dissapointed, but I know the chances of winning the jackpot are crap.. :(

    4 Comments
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      One winning ticket sold in Missouri. You are holding out on us.

      over 9 years ago
    • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar
      4HeartsBroken

      Oh trust me if it would of went up to a billion bucks and I won it I defiantly would of shared it lol.

      over 9 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Well, we can all wish! Shame none of us won.

      over 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    It's been almost a month since my Grandma was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in the advanced stages. At the time when her doctor told us that she probably wouldn't make it to Christmas and that she had one good week left in her we were all kind of dismissed by the idea. She was just fine, still walking, no pain. Now the only time she gets out of bed is to eat and have her diaper changed and probably won't be able to leave her house again. I hope someday soon they can at least find a way to detect Pancreatic Cancer early.

  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    I can't believe this is happening my Grandma was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer 17 days ago with no hope of survival. Then today my Grandpa is diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in the advanced stages too. This happened at the way wrong time! My mom had just started accepting that my Grandma is dying. And now all those emotions and feelings that my mom felt when she found out her mom was dying are going to come back out! This is just so freaking horrible!

    6 Comments
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Sorry you and your family are having to go through this, it sucks, and no it isn't fair. My Dad died with prostate cancer that had metastisized, then 2 months later Mom was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. I have a little experience with this, but at the same time, that's tough. I don't know anything to tell you other than if you have questions, there are a lot of great people here that have been there. We can't cure it, but we can talk to you through it.

      Wish you all the best.

      Greg P
      3x Survivor
      Team WhatNext Community Mgr.

      over 9 years ago
    • mamasdaughter's Avatar
      mamasdaughter

      Oh honey, I am so sorry! That sucks! There is just no other word for it. I am still praying for your family.

      over 9 years ago
    • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar
      4HeartsBroken

      Thank you guys :) Actually my Grandpa lives in Texas, he is not going to be receiving any treatment for it due to the health problems he already has. Ive never really known him but my heart goes out to my mom.

      over 9 years ago
  • 4HeartsBroken's Avatar

    4HeartsBroken posted an update

    Since November 6 (the day my Grandma was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer) everyone in her life has came to her aid. Everyone including her neighbors a young couple in their early 30s that has only known her maybe 4 months. Of everyone to come visit her, call her, bring her flowers, you would think someone from her church would make effort to show they care. She has been a faithful member of that stupid church for almost 30 years..

    1 Comment
    • mamasdaughter's Avatar
      mamasdaughter

      Mama's church was kinda the same way. She was in the hospital and she called her priest and asked for her last rites to be read to her and NOBODY WOULD COME!!!! We ended up having to take her out, weak and sick, to get her to church to have them read to her. It was pretty upsetting. However, some of the members have been wonderful in sending cards and calling and praying for us.

      over 9 years ago