• BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Had my bloodwork done last week. That good ol' CA-125 is at 14.9, so the sky is blue in my world today.

    6 Comments
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Dear Cancer:

    You were a surprise visitor in my life. I hadn’t made up the guest room for you – you took it upon yourself to move in. Unlooked for. Unneeded. Unwanted. Even finding you was not in the “usual way”. No cancer screening, just a hernia repair. How long would you have remained lurking in the basement before you were discovered had it not been for a routine surgery?

    It took several heroes to evict you. My surgical oncologist rooted you out. My medical oncologist poisoned any remaining cells that might have tried to hid behind the furnace. My phlebotomists kept watch to make sure you didn’t try to sneak back in. The oncology nurses held my hand through the entire process. And yes, I have to add myself into that list. I could have laid down and not tried to rid myself of you. But I could not do that. For I am meaner than you. I am better than you. And I am stronger than you.

    Someday my “house” will fall down – all construction does. And it might be because of you. Or it might be because a tree falls on it. But even if you are the cause, I still won. Because I am standing here now. And I am sharing my strength with others who might be scared, who might not yet have realized how strong they are, who might be stuck because of the shock of a new diagnosis.

    And someday, you will be evicted from every “house” out there. Someday you will be a memory, a footnote in history, an old antiquated disease. May that day come very soon.

    1 Comment
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Well, I had a a CT scan on Friday. Now I get to do the waiting game until Wednesday, when I have my appointment w/my medical oncologist. The CT techs don't get that I'm a hard stick now. They tried twice each (2 of 'em) before they went down to get one of the chemo nurses. She got it in one. And guess which one is the only one not to bruise...

    2 Comments
    • grandmaof2's Avatar
      grandmaof2

      Those "sticks" become more difficult over time... You're in my prayers!

      almost 6 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Hoping for clean scans for you and I'm sure they will be. My super spidy senses say everything is fine!! I make a joke/threat with everyone who sticks me, I ask how many times have you had to stick someone to get a good one? Then I tell them they have ONE shot at me, just to shake them up. I actually don't mind the sticking anymore, I've been stuck thousands of times over 27 years. I just like to see how they work under PRESSURE!

      almost 6 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Had my annual "squishing" last week. Mammogram results received yesterday. I'm good for another year or 12,000 miles...

  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Well everyone, my mom passed away just after 10 this morning. I know she is out of pain and no longer struggling, but it's been a hard week. Something happened between four and seven am on Sunday. Could have been another stroke. Comatose since then. As a reminder, i am the cancer survivor; she had COPD, kidney issues then a stroke in December.

    25 Comments
    • Marianne's Avatar
      Marianne

      Hug.

      about 6 years ago
    • HOBO's Avatar
      HOBO

      Just wanted to say HI Shelby and let you know I am thinking about you today. Please be good to yourself.
      Jane

      about 6 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      My deepest condolences on the loss of your mom. She was lucky to have you by her side and you her. When it rains it pours. You have really been through the grinder physically and emotionally. Here's wishing you strength and healing, and all good things.

      about 6 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Had an appointment w/gynecologic oncologist this morning. CA125 is at 11. She says all is good. Now I just need to get through putting Mom under hospice care this afternoon.

    2 Comments
    • youngfarmgal's Avatar
      youngfarmgal

      Just remember to try to put your health first, despite all that is connected with your Mom and hospice. I don't know too much about the numbers of CA125, but if the doc says all is good, great!

      about 6 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Congrats and let me know if there is anything I can do for you. No one deserves great news more than you, Carm.

      about 6 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    I had a check up last week and finally got my results back. CA-125 is at 13.1. Woo hoo!! And whew!! They left me waiting from Wednesday until Friday late afternoon to get that answer.

    4 Comments
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Well, I think we are nearing the end w/my Mom. She had a stroke before Christmas. Went back to the nursing home for 3 days then bounced right back to the hospital for dehydration. Went back to skilled nursing @ the nursing home. Last night, back to the hospital because skilled nursing couldn't start an IV & she's dehydrated again. So she's back in the hospital -- different hospital this time, the one where I treated for my cancer. The gerintologist (sp?) at the nursing home thinks it's time for hospice care. I'm hoping to get a 2nd opinion from someone at the hospital. Don't know what to do. When I mentioned hospice to Mom, I got the the "mmmmmuuuu" grunt I've gotten since I was a kid that means "don't you even". I really would rather go through surgery and chemo again then go thru this.

    5 Comments
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Shelby,
      My thoughts are with you and if I can help you with anything let me know. Hospice does not have to be as grimm as many think. Take care my friend, Carm.

      over 6 years ago
    • amontoya's Avatar
      amontoya

      I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Make the call to hospice, they're wonderful and make things so much easier for everyone.

      over 6 years ago
    • DaveWaz's Avatar
      DaveWaz

      Shelby,

      Sorry to hear your mom is not doing well. I just had a friend who's father passed and they said they wished they had gone to hospice sooner. I hear this often. It is a hard decision and it does not necessary mean you are giving up. It is more about getting getting the emotional, physical and medical help you need to make the tough situation easier and more comfortable for everyone. You might also want to look into home hospice.

      Praying for the best possible outcome from her.

      David

      over 6 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Mom had a stroke last Monday. Was released from the hospital on Wednesday, back to the extended care facility, which I thought was awfully quick. She's having problems swallowing, which I guess is not unusual for a stroke patient. She ended up dehydrated and is back in the hospital again. They are going to put in a feeding tube. I had a total complete meltdown yesterday. This is harder than MY treatment was. I'm just really glad Mom didn't get sick last year while I was treating -- I'd have to be committed! Sorry to vent off the cancer topic, but I'm just not having a good year...

    5 Comments
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Thank you so much, Carm. They've not yet had to do the feeding tube. She's swallowing better, but the hosp is still concerned that she is not getting sufficient protein. I won't lie; I think it was easier undergoing treatment than dealing w/Mom's illness. Not sure what the future will bring. But thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone. Kinda felt like it the last couple of days.

      over 6 years ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      Hi, BuckeyeShelby. I am trying to catch up a bit on how folks are doing and saw your post. I'm so sorry about your mom. My goodness, so much going on for you. Carm said it so well - we are all walking at your side and there is nowhere else we'd rather be. I'm so fond of my WhatNext family and have really appreciated your injections of humor. Please take care. You are in my prayers. Big hug.

      over 6 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Shelby, All this time I kind of feel like we are joined at the hip so to speak...you couldn't get rid of me if you tried. Try to have a great New Years celebration. Starting any year with Mom is always a great start!

      over 6 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Well, we got my Mom's skin cancer taken care of. . Now we are in the ER awaiting admission as it appears she has suffered a stroke. Just a bit frazzled. Call came just as I started work this morning. Not sure how much more of this I can take. Atavin is my friend!

    5 Comments
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Sending Prayers your way

      over 6 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar
      ticklingcancer

      Embrace the Ativan!!! Sending prayers for Mom!!

      over 6 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Sorry for your continued problems your mother is having. Wishing you both the best.

      over 6 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    I had my quarterly meeting w/the vampires who took my blood. CA 125 is down to 12.3. So much better than 400+. Yah me! : )

    6 Comments
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar
      Carol-Charlie

      Congratulations dear fellow Buckeye!!!!! You rock!

      over 6 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Congratulations...clearly something to be thankful for.

      over 6 years ago
    • Journey's Avatar
      Journey

      Good for you! Congratulations.

      over 6 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    I know this isn't cancer related, but another mom update. My mom is back! I went to visit her on Tuesday, & she's my mom again. She knew where she was & why she was there. She knew she wouldn't be going back to her house and that I wasn't just dumping her in a home & running. And just like w/my own cancer treatment, I wait 'til I'm in the car & cry over good news. I might tear up over the other stuff, but cancer seems to have made me stronger to face crises. Then when we hit a lull or it's over, I break down & cry like a little girl. I'm just weird. Go, Mom, go!

    5 Comments
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      And now she has a GI bleed (minor), so we are sitting in the ER, waiting on them to find her a room...

      almost 7 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Oh mercy, it's always one thing or the other.

      almost 7 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Endoscopy time tomorrow... woo hoo?

      almost 7 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    My mom is off the vent and out of Miami Valley Hosp. She's in a skilled nursing facility closer to me. 20 Minutes instead of an hour and a half. She keeps telling me she's ready to go, even though she can't stand up w/out help. I haven't figured out how to tell her she won't be going home to that house.She's stillbit mentally altered. Don't know if she'll come back from that. I've learn that ativan is my friend..

    4 Comments
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      We just got here yesterday. The occupational therapist came by to do an evaluation today. And when I spoke w/the nurse, she mentioned something called hospital dementia. Mom was in the hospital for 3 weeks, tubed twice, sedated a good portion of the time. She thinks a structured environment of therapy & mealtimes, etc, will help her mentally.

      almost 7 years ago
    • JeanB's Avatar
      JeanB

      Shelby, so glad your mom is nearer to you. That has got to make a hard situation a bit easier. I hope she continues to improve. My prayers are with her and you.

      almost 7 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Best of luck to you and your mom,Carm

      almost 7 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Well, I'm spending another weekend in an ICU room @ Miami Valley Hosp in Dayton OH. Not for me. Mom was moved out of cardiopulmonary ICU on Wed to a regular room. Didn't last 12 hrs before she was moved back to ICU, this time medical ICU. I don't know what the difference is other than cardiac is in a newer part of the campus with nicer rooms. She's back on the vent. Not sure where we go from here. I'll be here until @ least Sunday afternoon.

    10 Comments
    • Joachima's Avatar
      Joachima

      So happy for your good news!

      almost 7 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      BuckeyeShelby,
      I hope only the best for you and your Mother. Glad to read that the situation is improving. My best to you both, Carm.

      almost 7 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Well you just can't get enough hospital huh? Hopefully you're out by now. Sorry Mom had a downturn.

      almost 7 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Well, mom isn't the cancer patient, but I'm going to update anyway. Mom's been in the hospital since Thursday. Got a call @ work yesterday: your mmom quite breathing & is on a vent. So I'm currently living in my mom's ICU room. She's in debated & sedated. They keep telling me she's strong as she fights to remove the tube even thru the sedation. Had been planning on moving her to skilled nursing in Columbus, where I live instead of Dayton which is an hr & a half away. Don't know what I'm going to do.;

    8 Comments
    • JeanB's Avatar
      JeanB

      Praying for you and your mom.

      almost 7 years ago
    • marshala1's Avatar
      marshala1

      Stay strong, Shelby. You and your Mom are in my prayers.

      almost 7 years ago
    • MariaM's Avatar
      MariaM

      I'm the caregiver for my husband, a dementia patient, and I can warn you not to make the mistake I make all the time. Please remember to put on your own oxygen mask first! This is very important. We all think we are strong enough to do it all without thinking of ourselves; we are wrong.

      almost 7 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    I head off for my first post-chemo CT scan tomorrow. I haven't figured out if I'm nervous yet. I probably won't hear anything about the results until I see my medical oncologist next week.

    15 Comments
    • christinematth's Avatar
      christinematth

      Good luck! Just try to take intone day at a time, as frustrating as that can be to achieve. Will be sending you positive vibes!

      about 7 years ago
    • barbaraanne's Avatar
      barbaraanne

      Best of luck to you. Pray all turns out well...

      about 7 years ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      Just saw your post. I'm sending prayers and looking forward to hearing good results. BTW, I'm sorry to hear about all the pokes.

      about 7 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    My nurse case manager is leaving her employer. We've become friends over the last year. She's asked me what I've proven to myself throughout this year of treatment. Here is what I wrote:

    I’ve learned I’m really not a wuss. I went through 2 surgeries w/in 6 weeks with minimal whining. And ESPECIALLY when it came to my allergic reaction to Taxol – oh, that was not fun. But I didn’t panic. I yelled for help and just closed my eyes. Granted, the nurses & Dr Grainger got a continuous update on what I was feeling, but that was mostly to give me something to focus on so I wouldn’t panic…

    I lost 3 out of 4 grandparents (plus 1 step-grandparent) to cancer – I’ve learned it is not the death sentence it was back in the 60s & 70s. While treatment wasn’t fun, it was doable. And I actually kinda miss the fussing over me every 3 weeks – they can keep those IV bags, but I missing the fussing part.

    I’m stronger than I thought. I have listened to the whining of a good friend for several years – she has diabetes. Yeah, her medication side effects suck, but so do mine, and I’m no where near as vocal.

    Sometimes I do feel alone. On the board, I read about the wonderful things that people do for the patient. Yeah, I went to every single chemo by myself. No one visited in the hospital until it was time to go home. No one even cooked me a casserole. But I know I can do it myself. And my cat groomed me when I wasn’t feeling well, so there. Nyah.

    I’ve learned exactly how far a sense of humor can go. The nurses and patient assistants at the hospital liked me ‘cause I was polite and I made them laugh. That went far w/the chemo nurses, too. And also my NCM…

    And I’m learning that the closer I get to my scan the bigger a hypochondriac I become. Every little ache… I have a headache. Aaaaaaa!! I have brain mets! My feet hurt. Aaaaaaaa!!! I have feet mets! (yes, I do realize I’m completely insane, see the previous paragraph…). But the thoughts on headaches and pains in my back or side – the idea does cross my mind a lot more now that scan is a week away…

  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Well, I have hair. It's kinda weird. Sorta at the length that it feels more like fur than hair. Bizarre. Same basic color as it was before. But the good part -- I have hair!

    4 Comments
    • derbygirl's Avatar
      derbygirl

      Congratulations! I hope things just keep getting better and better for you because you've earned it!

      about 7 years ago
    • sunshinemb's Avatar
      sunshinemb

      Isn't it amazing how we feel when our hair starts to come in; it's like a new beginning of life....that was a difficult part in my journey; lost my hair 3 times; and every time was harder and harder; now I have just had my first trim; and I mean trim. I was like "don't cut too much", LOL...the small but wonderous things we learn on our journies; to appreciate them all so much. Gods blessings to you; with continued prayers and recovery coming every day.

      about 7 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Some hair, and even weird hair, is better than no hair. You will do great with what ever you get in return.

      about 7 years ago
  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    Someone complimented me on how my hair is growing back. Yah me!! Yes, I'm still obsessing about my hair! : )

  • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

    BuckeyeShelby posted an update

    There are days I hate oncology offices. Last time w/my blood tests, they left a VM w/my CA125 level of 17.5. THIS time they left a VM to call them... PANIC!!!! Different rep called me. My CA125 is 14. Now that I'm done panicking that something is actually wrong... I think I'm breathing again.

    3 Comments
    • grandmaof2's Avatar
      grandmaof2

      Congrats Shelby! I know that feeling of panic all too well.

      over 7 years ago
    • carm's Avatar
      carm

      Shelby,
      Great news. This is worth much more than a few breaths. Now go out and do something that takes your breath away. You deserve it, Carm RN.

      over 7 years ago
    • derbygirl's Avatar
      derbygirl

      Congratulations on the great numbers. I can relate to that feeling of panic. Celebrate the results, you've earned it!

      over 7 years ago