• irishgal's Avatar

    irishgal posted an update

    Have kind of a bummer post...

    I'm wondering if anyone has had any negative experiences with caregivers that may constitute abuse.

    My treatment for breast cancer lasted 8 months. 2 months in, my soon-to-be caregiver asked me to move in so he could help me recover from my double-mastectomy/reconstruction surgery, followed by four cycles of chemo. Desperate not to be alone during this time, I jumped at the chance. Things were great at first. He was super attentive and helpful which made my recovery much easier. One other thing to note, when I initially moved in, he offered to put me on his insurance as a domestic partner, which I accepted as I'd been paying tons in Cobra prior to that.

    Here's where things turned. After my last chemo, we had an argument. His demeanor had begun to change over the past month, and I'd started questioning him about it. I wanted to know if I was doing something wrong. One night, it erupted into an argument. The next day, I drove down the street and booked a room at a hotel for some space. (We'd been sharing a one-bedroom apartment for 5 months straight.) When he found out what I'd done, he called to tell me I was to vacate his premises and that he was terminating my health insurance. I was 4 weeks out of my last chemo and 4 weeks before my final surgery to swap my implants.

    Facing no insurance - and becoming homeless overnight (my parents aren't in the picture) - I freaked out. I had a nervous breakdown. My therapist has put me into a partial hospitalization program for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I simply couldn't process everything that had happened this year: a cancer diagnosis, four surgeries, 4 rounds of chemo, chemo's side effects, and then the inexplicable disappearance of my "rock" throughout the whole process.

    He still will not communicate with me. It has been four months. I don't know that anything overtly illegal was done, but it most certainly took a huge toll on my emotional and psychological well-being. I don't know the extent of what it did physically. I still have nightmares and can barely sleep. I feel like I was tossed out like trash, and this person never looked back.

    Has anyone had or heard of a similar experience? Is there any recourse? How can I recover from this? I'm desperate to regain some sense of normalcy and peace.

    Many thanks,
    E