• legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

    8 answers
    • fiddler's Avatar
      fiddler

      I feel happier reading your story @legaljen1969!

      Oh! Forgot to mention earlier, good for you for getting out of domestic law. The cortisol release from the stress of law practice really wreaks havoc with the body (also with child welfare - I swear it 'gave' me cancer)! Nice jump to doing something POSITIVE in the near future!

      Keep up the good juju vibes

      12 days ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      LWC, I do the same type of grocery pick up at Kroger. And the only difference is that maybe a third are women. But everyone is super friendly. And even though I've been released from their care, I am grateful for my home health nurses. They were always so nice to me. We eventually got to a rhythm where it was always 1 of three different nurses, but before that I saw several, and all of them were so supportive. I really do miss their visits.

      12 days ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @fiddler, I worked in family law for about 9 years. I have felt lost and like I am swimming against the current every time I get away from it- but I have had to go where there are job openings. If offered a job in domestic law, I would jump back in head first if I got the right offer. Right now I work for someone who has been trying to get me to learn how to be a real estate paralegal for the better part of two years. I have said No, no, no, and more no. He still persists. The stress and cortisol of family law is NOTHING compared to the stress I feel having to fend off the possibility of being a real estate paralegal. I cannot think of anything I would enjoy less as a professional move. I had to tell my boss about two weeks ago that he had to make a choice and I only saw three paths (1) quit doing real estate altogether (2) hire someone to do real estate or (3) if times were tough and he needed someone to do all of it- let me go and hire someone who could do it all. I am NOT doing it.
      I am GOOD at family law/domestic law. People need an advocate and they will find someone- one way or another. Whether the person they find can support them when they are fighting their battle and help them come out a little less battle scarred is a completely different matter.
      It is like finding a doctor for cancer- you can find one that can do the surgery, administer the radiation, administer the chemo and make a plan for you. Whether you feel like that person cares about you is a different story. You can feel like you have a treatment team or you can feel like you just have a doctor who signs orders and does treatment. It takes someone with a special sense of care and compassion to do certain kinds of work. I think domestic law requires a bit more compassion than many types of medicine. I know it takes a special person to be an oncology doctor or nurse, someone who has a deeper sense of care than the average.
      I think maybe the stress of being away from what I love may have activated MY cortisol.
      It's funny how we are all so different in what we choose to do.
      I always swore I would never go into criminal defense work or do work in the prosecutors/solicitors office. After sitting all the way through a couple of jury roster calls and working for an attorney who represented corrections officers and first responders, it has become far more apparent to me that we get the justice we can afford. I would give thought to it now.

      Real estate- nope. Not this girl. Not all the moving parts and constant changes and money handling. That to me is so stressful. I can deal with handholding, crying, anger and "atta boys" all day if I feel like I made some difference at the end of the day. With real estate, it's just paper after paper after people and the more you get done, the more they give you to do.

      11 days ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    The Only Thing Certain is Change

    8 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      My cousin and many of her kids (they have 4 biological and 4 adopted foster children) were very active with the Boys and Girls Club. Several of them held paid jobs and others volunteered. I have a really special place in my heart for them because of my cousin's relationship. They do good work. And, of course, so does Hospice. I haven't personally dealt with Hospice but it is rare to hear anything negative about them. You'd be great at either job, I think.

      12 days ago
    • fiddler's Avatar
      fiddler

      Both can be tremendously rewarding. One brings hope and stability to some kids with sad stories, one is facing death every day (hospice is for people in the last 3 months of life). I have worked with disadvantaged kids and with hospice patients. Personally, today, after a bout with cancer, I'd choose giggly kids over listening to a death rattle or moaning from pain; I don't want to be reminded how short my life is.

      12 days ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      Both sound like amazing opportunities. Which one do you think matches your skills best? Or will allow for the most growth? I think your heart will guide you. And I don't think you could make a bad choice. Good luck!

      12 days ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Closing In On Year 1 of Diagnosis

    17 answers
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      Yay for good results! Relax and enjoy the upcoming holidays and the start of a new year without cancer! My next scan is Dec 2. Hope I’ll be celebrating with you!

      about 1 month ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @Teachertina. I hope you are celebrating with me as well. I will be thinking positive thoughts for you.

      about 1 month ago
    • Gabba's Avatar
      Gabba

      Wonderful news! Eat chocolate!!

      29 days ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Not Forgotten

    14 answers
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar
      ChildOfGod4570

      Oh Man, my impulsive side says that even if I heard it through the air vents, I would spread the word like wildfire in any way I could, either in a loud voice or from desk to desk, "Did I hear right? Did [fill in the blank] just say they wanted [someone] to contract cancer or COVID-19!?!" What that lady said was absolutely deplorable! Nobody deserves cancer no matter what their political views are. If it were the other way around, I am sure that lady would be hurt right down to her guts if someone said she deserved a cancer recurrence because of differing political opinions. Some of us are going to be dealing with cancer, be it in active treatment or constant check-ups, longer than either Trump or Biden are in office. Those men don't even know who we are in the first place, so let's focus on getting or staying well and surrounding ourselves with people who would encourage us. HUGS and God bless.

      about 1 month ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Wow @legaljen1969 - that is unreal!!! Just reading about your coworker makes my blood boil!!!

      about 1 month ago
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      Your co worker needs to remember- What goes around comes around! Any person that vile is emotionally ill, which can’t be good for the body. You have taken the high road to consider forgiveness. I pity that person. She must be very unhappy to try to bring others down to her level! Hold your head high and be strong against that kind of hate!

      about 1 month ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Being Open to Suggestions

    4 answers
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      Very true. Patient's reactions to treatments is all over the place - few side effects to having to stop treatment due to side effects. Recurrence vs NED. I try not to scare anyone, but I try to be realistic too.

      2 months ago
    • po18guy's Avatar
      po18guy

      I don't know what I would have done if, back in 2008, they would have said, "In the long run, rounded off from 1%, your chance of surviving is zero."
      Southern rock group Molly Hatchet sang a song entitled "Beating the Odds"
      Well, someone has to!

      2 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I'm so sorry to read that one of our valued members felt they didn't like what they were seeing here and left because of it. My personal opinion is that everyone here has their own opinions ... and that's what they are ... opinions or personal experiences - which are just that - personal experiences. My personal experiences don't translate to anyone else's but they often are the basis for my opinions. (Count the number of times opinion was used in this paragraph. I need a thesaurus!!!)

      I think sometimes we don't read a comment with the same tone as the person who posted it wrote it ... it is a problem with anything like this that relies solely on what is written. I know I have written things that people have found offensive and I was amazed because I wrote it to be helpful and not offensive at all. The person on the other end read it in a way that I did not intend.
      I am certain I have done the same thing ... and was offended when no offense was intended by the other person.

      2 months ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Purging the Past

    4 answers
    • Teachertina's Avatar
      Teachertina

      I can’t stand ginger ale anymore, after drinking so much of it after surgeries! I have anxiety when I have to go visit anyone in a hospital. Way too many smell triggers there! Fall and winter are rough for me. All 3 diagnosis came and surgeries were done with long recovery times during those months. The short days with early darkness makes for long nights of memories. Plus I hate cold weather. I keep thinking of long warm days ahead to get outside and plant my little flower garden and a few tomato plants in the spring. The holidays keep me busy for some of this time and projects I need to do indoors help pass the time too. I bet we all have some kind of feelings like this with smells, sounds, tastes, sights and memories.

      3 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I have some foods that I can't "go" any longer because I got sick on them (or at the thought of them) when I was getting chemo. I once loved potato soup, but I developed a horrible aversion to it while I getting chemo ... and it has taken until recently before I could even think of it without wanting to retch (I have now actually eaten and enjoyed a bowl or two of potato soup). I ate and threw up ginger snaps ... I still won't eat those. On the other hand, I drank a ton of tomato juice and tomatoes with avocadoes when I was sickest ... and I still love those things!!

      Other things, like you mentioned, really haven't been a trigger for me at all.

      Not long after our son died, I went on a huge cleaning binge. I wasn't ridding our home of memories of him, of course, but I felt like I had to organize the chaos - I had to be able to actually control something ... and that something was getting cabinets and closets completely organized (not something I typically do or enjoy). That's what your purging reminds me of.

      3 months ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      Thank you all for responding.

      3 months ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    The Cost of Kindness

    11 answers
    • po18guy's Avatar
      po18guy

      The problem with kindness is that it is giving and we live in a "get" culture.

      5 months ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      Sometimes we mis-interrupt the question. Sometimes we go down rabbit holes in the course of our discussion. But, don't you think *sanctimonious judgement* is a little strong? I thought we all just enjoyed interacting with each other in a safe place, not a place where we might get our feelings hurt - that doesn't bode well for kindness at all.

      5 months ago
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar
      ChildOfGod4570

      If you ask me, there can never be enough kindness. It should be an ever expanding fountain within us no matter our faith. I know for me, the only cost to my kindness is the time it takes, and I don't really call that a cost at all. I feel at my best when I do a kindness to others, and many is the time when I would get the blues because I had not done a kindness for someone in a while. HUGS and God bless.

      5 months ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Testing my Positivity

    23 answers
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I'm ready to go to the ENT....I'm glad that you don't have eczema or angioedema. My lips, nose, eyelids, cheeks just keep itching no matter how many Benadryl pills I take. a day.

      I always said it didn't bother me inside my mouth, When I saw my dentist in May-- I let her know that I wasn't infectious. just eczema. When she sprayed in my mouth, the spray set off an eczema itching in my throat. She didn't do anything wrong but it tickled my throat. This can be so aggravating. I'll talk to you later. I don't know of any cancer that's itchy. It is probably dry skin thing.

      5 months ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Good luck at the ENT

      5 months ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      My ear is OK--ENT had a hard time looking into it, but it's fine. I lost hearing- and that's it. Now I don't need to worry. I'll see him next year.

      5 months ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Being Positive

    7 answers
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @JaneA, I know you are in the country. Nothing is really "close" to you. I think we have hit upon this point, but I have quite a few relatives in your neck of the woods. The "Hill" Family. I am so glad your husband insisted on getting you a stove you would love. I am even more glad that you are NED. That's wonderful.

      5 months ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      @Chicago Sandy, well darn. That's a lot of unexpected unpleasant news to go through. I hate it when providers and health care systems get territorial over who orders what. The top priority, or actually, the ONLY priority should be getting tests ordered ASAP so the patient has the best chance for treatment.

      Stay vigilant dear. I am sorry you're having to go through this. The rest of us will try to remain "positive" in our thoughts for you. Keep us posted.

      5 months ago
    • fiddler's Avatar
      fiddler

      LegLJEN1969
      As ChicagoSandy said, being "on" is New Age bulls--t. I went on neutral and stayed rather numb that way - to the ups and downs. Staring out the window at the cloud formations on a sunny day was peaceful for me and I didn't socialize during that time except for a few close friends.

      Being a B at any time under any circumstances is unnecessary and is a choice. So is a peaceful heart. Everyone knows you're going through stressful times and they feel helpless. Happiness is also a choice - how you define happiness is your personal addition to this goo we call humanity.

      Be you. If you snap at someone, so what. It happens. To EVERYONE. Perfection is not possible.

      5 months ago
  • legaljen1969's Avatar

    legaljen1969 asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Invasive COVID Tests

    19 answers
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      Here, in NM, the long wait tests are private business tests and labs. Tests done by the state--state clinic/hospital come in in about and hour- state testing labs. The VA takes about an hour--here the VA and Air Force share labs, scans, operating rooms, ER, and AF/VA tests are finished within an hour.

      The last I heard is that the state took over COVID testing and they get immediate results. We can say bad what we want about Oklahoma, but OK has handled the testing better than the other states.

      5 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      My husband was in large private hospital. They knew in about an hour that their idiotic presumption that he had COVID because he had a stroke was wrong.

      5 months ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      LIVEWIFE----I hear you with. When I had Whooping Cough, they kept trying to say that I had a stroke. I couldn't speak, but I had good physical coordination and mental acuity. Also the many scans were negative for any type of stroke or brain problem.

      5 months ago