• Meddie's Avatar

    Meddie posted an update

    As the hands on caregiver to someone who just recently found out they had cancer and had surgery everything is still new. The biggest issue I am personally facing as family and caregiver is how to handle all of the other family and their treatment pressure. Most of our family are very anti chemo which the Dr recommends. I am pro chemo. I am aware our thoughts are not the ones that matter since we are not the patient. With that in mind I keep mine to myself. However she is being pressured hard by her other family to do natural or other cancer treatments. The fear inside of me when I think about her doing that grips me to the point I almost can not breath. I don't show that or tell anyone. I am so scared of the fight that I see coming among this family. Also it is not easy to see someone you love possibly reject something that could give them more time and not want to beg them to do it. I feel so caught and torn because I want and need to support her without waiver but the part that wants her around is screaming at me to say something. I feel like she is fighting for her life.

    1 Comment
    • Jeannie's Avatar

      Dear Matty,
      I'm so sorry for you and your family. As a 62 year old woman with stage IV ovarian and Fillopian tube cancer with metastsis maybe I can give you some insight to my thoughts on my treatment. I was diagnosised in Sept, Drs removed a very large L ovary, tubes, and 1 foot of colon plus Rt ovary, tubes appendix, debulking etc. The cancer that they didn't get is in my liver, diaphram, and lymph nodes. As I am a nurse I realize that unless this first round of chemo works by some miricle I need to plan for extending the comfort of my life. My Drs and my plan of action is to do only the treatments that show some relief of symptoms or that possibley will kill off the cancer cells. So far I am on round 2 of chemo and will not know until Dec 19 what my scan shows. They will compare my Sept scans to see if the chemo has done any good at getting rid of the awful diease. My family too is divided as to what I should do. The problem being with chemo you have to watch what natural things you consume so it doesn't interfere with the chemo working. Although my Dr is very open to trying alternative therapys as complimentary therapy. The Alternative therapy, which in my case means going to Mexico to a clinic seems to mean they want me to come without any chemo and try their therapy first. I have no first hand knowledge of this plus it seemed to me the first thing I need to do was get this monster out of me as it was pressing against my abdominal organs and causing pain.
      #1 I couldn't find anyone I knew who knew someone with my kind of cancer(word of mouth is essential in my book) that tried the treatments, only testamonials from the many clinics that line the streets of Mexico.
      #2 I am trying to see if this cancer will respond to 3 chemo treatments. So far the chemo has been rough for about a week after and I still don't feel normal again.
      #3 After my Scan on Dec 12th and Dr on the 19th I can make up my mind to go to Mexico and see what they can do for me.
      Does your family have any contacts or people they know who have used alternatives and were successful? I only know of one man with myloma who works with my son in law who has had success but his cancer was different and was treated with a clinic specializing in myloma. He follows a diet and takes a tonic. I"m willing to try that. I'm willing to listen to facts about treatment. I'll bet you family member would love to have someone just lay down the facts as they know it. So many people just have opinions and don't really have facts on how things are suppose to work so I makes decisions hard. Expecially if you are the person it's happening to. You don't feel like yourself let alone good enough to make decisions based on 3rd and 4th party stories.
      My story will have an outcome of planed life. I want to be able to plan the rest of my life so that my comfort level balances with living my life and making it as joyous for my family and myself that I can. I've been blessed, my family pitches in to help with my care, Dr appointments etc. Who can ask for more love than that.
      I hope this was helpful, somewhat. I can help you with what I know happens with chemo if you'd like me to share I would be happy too.

      over 9 years ago