• 1st appt with oncologist

    Asked by Zoltan1 on Thursday, March 14, 2013

    1st appt with oncologist

    So afraid he will tell us it's too late or the cancer has spread. The waiting is endless.

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • little_fut's Avatar

      I just went thru this...I was dx in December and just had my lumpectomy this Monday. Today I am doing fine and waiting for the results to come back. t's like I was told by this marvelous site, (and actually didn't believe 100% only 95%), it's the waiting and not knowing that will get to you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but just keep believing and pray.....It really works! Good luck. :D

      over 7 years ago
    • AlizaMLS's Avatar

      Dear Zoltan,

      I'm Aliza, a BC patient and a Medical Librarian (retired). A friend of mine who's a Hodgkin's disease patient passed on to me a very good piece of advice that she learned at her support group (we're both treated at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NY). It's very simple, but very hard to do. It goes: "Don't die a thousand deaths.", meaning you can only die once, don't let stress and anxiety waiting for every diagnosis kill you. This is an extremely difficult thing to do as a Cancer patient, but I think it's key because there are usually (not always) a lot of tests (blood, biopsies, etc.) and subsequently a lot of waiting for results. You cannot live your life in terror every moment (well, you actually can choose to do that, but it's usually not recommended...;))

      I don't (as Librarians don't) give Medical advice, but I offer referrals - to doctors, institutions/hospitals, agencies, and also for non-medical/recreational purposes (I was a Public Librarian as well). I'm going to suggest that you get in touch with CancerCare. They have trained Oncological Social Workers who deal only with us Cancer patients and our caregivers to help us cope with the "angst" that we must deal with while teaching us how not to let it consume us. Sounds pretty good about now. I know it's not as good as hearing the news that your cancer hasn't spread, but since I'm not the oncologist who has that information, it's the best I can do...;) I hope it helps!

      Let me know if there's anything I can do for you to help you in terms of distracting yourself - I know of books on many subjects (I'm known in library parlance as a generalist), a virtual bookgroup, can help you with resources in your city. Please message me if I can help you in any way.

      This site is full of great and supportive people who understand what you're going through. Also be sure to check out the purple box in the lower right corner of this page that says "View a list of personalized resources and useful content" Click on it to see if any of it fits the bill for you.

      Warm wishes,

      over 7 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      The fact is that "Waiting" is the worst part of a cancer journey. Every single person diagnosed with cancer on this site has had to "wait". It's such a beating. I, like you, self diagnosed myself with Stage 4 metastic cancer for which there was no treatment for. Of course everyone around me would say things "don't worry about it so much" or my absolute favorite "try not to think about it". Yeah....Right. It becomes a much easier process once you have a plan of attack. Good luck to you. Keep us posted on your progress.

      over 7 years ago
    • Kathy's Avatar

      Yes the wait is really hard!!! It's hard waiting for any of these appointments and tests and then the results. On the flip side maybe the oncologist is going to say it was caught soon!!
      When is your appointment?? Try to focus on things that you like to do that can help take your mind off of this? Puzzles, computer games, favorite TV shows. I will often say to myself, for example, next week at this time I will have an answer. I find comfort when the day gets closer and I know the waiting will be over.

      over 7 years ago
    • bbay65's Avatar

      Keeping busy is key. When my mind wanders all kinds of horrible thoughts intrude. I notice when I'm home alone I feel worse. Happy music and tackling a project helps pass the time, and you may get a clean closet afterward?!

      over 7 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      Waiting is the worst. You can't make any plans nothing is settled. I hate it. My best advice is to try and do things you really enjoy doing. I went to 4 movies in one week while I was waiting for one of my biopsy results, laugh out loud comedies were the best.

      over 7 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      The waiting is terrible, but it will soon be behind you and your treatment will start. We've all been there. You're in good company.

      over 7 years ago

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