• ??

    Asked by sandikf on Sunday, May 5, 2013


    It is almost one year that I was diagonsed with small cell lung cancer. Finished chemo and radiation last July. Had brain radiation in Nov. This may sound crazy but I don't know how I am suppose to feel. Wasn't too bad until I found out in reality I wasn't expected to make it but as of now I am cancer free. Sometimes my mind obsesses over next scan-hate that anytime between now and five years it can say guess what I'm Back. When I voiced that worry to a friend he actually said 'so what it's no big deal you just get treatment again' I amlnost smacked him lol. Sometimes I feel guilty if I nap (somedays staying awake is a chore) I'm unemployed (was when I found out about the cancer) so I am bored. Actually not enthused about much-any one else feel that way. And I have absolutely NO desire for sex.

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • Ydnar2xer's Avatar

      I think your friend's response is typical of someone who hasn't personally dealt with cancer. I'm now finished with chemo and when anybody hears I had cancer, their first response is, "But you're OK NOW, aren't you?" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it makes people uncomfortable to talk about it if they are um, Cancer Virgins--you know, haven't experienced it or known anyone close who's had cancer. (It's kind of like my grandmother who, whenever we three kids argued, would step in and say, "Now, happy, happy!")

      That's why I enjoy this site so much--people here understand those fears, that anxiety. (BTW, if you're "bored", how about volunteering at your oncologist's office? I'd think your experience would be helpful to many other patients going through the same thing...?)

      over 3 years ago
    • EllasDaddy's Avatar

      This sounds so much like me. I finished my chemo in January and PCI about 5 weeks ago. They keep saying it's just side effects. I felt better after chemo than after radiation. I want to feel better. My appetite sucks, I get nausea almost every evening. My last CT scan one oncologist said it all looked good. A couple weeks later I saw the radiation oncologist and she thinks the cancer is coming back. I have a PET scan next month and that will determine what is happening. Nervous, heck yeah. Quit never.

      over 3 years ago
    • Kathy's Avatar

      It's been about 4 months since my last chemo from my second bout with ovarian cancer. I am about half way through a cancer transitions class for cancer survivors. It's comforting for others to have similar reactions as ours. It is not easy. I feel like I want to get it right this time cos who knows if or when I will be knocked down again. I also talk with a social worker one on one. That seems to help too!! Lately I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed. It is nice we have each other here. Take care!

      over 3 years ago
    • Tracy's Avatar

      Cancer is a kind of war, many of us end up with a very real form of PTSD. Think about the fact that you have been a battle with an enemy that has been hiding within your own body, then suddenly the battles stop. When you are in the middle of the fight you have something to focus on, but then you are told that you are now "fine" ; but you are off balance, exhausted and still waiting for the next shoe to drop. Worry has become a loop in your head - yup I know the feeling well. I don't know how to make you feel better except to tell you that I struggled with this for many, many years before I ran into a doctor who after talking to me for a bit diagnosed this and changed my outlook. It will get better and the loop of worry will get easier to live with. Take good care of yourself and let healing happen - Tracy

      over 3 years ago
    • derbygirl's Avatar

      I know how you feel. I had a person tell me that since my ovarian cancer was diagnosed early, I didn't have the real kind of ovarian cancer. I looked at him in amazement. People don't realize that even after the surgery and the treatments, there are still routine tests performed and doctors visits to go to just to make sure everything is going the way it should be. They don't realize how tiring it is just worrying about the what if's. Don't feel guilty about anything because you've done nothing wrong. You, like everyone else here, has endured the unimaginable. You have faced a demon and are winning so you've earned the relaxation. As far as your friend goes, it sounds like he just one of those types of people who think things are no big deal. I have one of those types in my home. Whenever I complained about feeling sick he would look at me and say that's always the excuse. Try to let those types of negative comments roll off and realize that people have the bad habit of not thinking before they speak. I also know the feeling of boredom because I had to leave the job I loved not only due to the cancer but a serious heart problem as well. I was so used to being active and now I sit around the house a lot. Find something you really enjoy to occupy your time. Even if it's simply sitting outside with a good book, it will feel wonderful to get out of the house. Take care.

      over 3 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar

      No one knows what will happen with your cancer. Not even Doctors. So try and take it one day at a time. On the other hand all of us need wake up calls to live our life more fully. This is National pet adoption Month.. Can you volunteer somewhere? Like a shelter? We are all at our best when we are helping others. Also visit an American Cancer Society desk and pick up the pamplets they have on all types of cancer subjects. Lots of good information there.
      Try and make sure you are "doing" every single day. Don't ruminate or ponder..it messes up the head. I have also pointed out in many many posts that PTSD is a real issue and problem for cancer dx. its a real disease that can rob you of your life. Look into this with your Dr. if you think this is you.

      over 3 years ago
    • CherylS@StF's Avatar

      First thoughts in my mind are CONGRATULATIONS, that is AWESOME, I feel joy at reading you have been cancer this long. I then try to put myself in that place that I have not been-a place where you have had to wage war against you own body, where your calendar belonged to the chemo and radiation schedule, the time when who you were before the cancer got replaced by labs and tests that would determine your next steps. I can see that when your life got interrupted by cancer it is hard to just go back to how it was before the C word. What I see in you is a girl who fought and won the battle, you've paid your dues and this is your time to get a new calendar and make it a point to put some of the things you wish you could have done when you were sick on those days. If you are feeling a depression that will not leave then see your PCP about getting some help for that, it would'nt be abnormal to feel that way after a war. Start small, go to the ice cream shops that are opening up for Spring, maybe the zoo, the park, plant some tomatoes and watch them grow for a season. Try to make lunch appts. with a friend or offer to babysit your niece or nephew, they will make you smile. You have faced one of the hardest things this life can bring, you body is there, now you need to fight to get your mind there. CAS1 good answer.

      over 3 years ago

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