• A little whine

    Asked by Jalemans on Saturday, October 4, 2014

    A little whine

    Oh yes, then there is the social worker who doesn't return my call & then tells me I can just look for support on the Internet. My oncologist is out until the end of the year & the person covering doesn't understand my perspective & I believe she thinks I am too far gone to put effort into.

    All this makes me sad. There are good things too, but right now I am wallowing.

    10 Answers from the Community

    10 answers
    • Phoenix76's Avatar
      Phoenix76

      I've been there! Frequently! ((Hugs))

      It's very difficult to go it alone. I'm sorry that others aren't really there for you when you need them. Very often I just want someone to hold me while I cry my eyes out; life can deal some challenging cards!

      Please try to find support groups in your area - it really does help. There's a program through a local hospital called, "Life with Cancer", which also offers various exercise programs (all gentle), as well as meditation, reiki work, etc. Perhaps there's something like that in your area. Or, maybe you could start your own group! Your local library or church might have a room that you could rent for an hour or so, and some newspapers offer free postings of meetings such as support groups.

      I also save stories that I find on the internet of others who've been dealt a bad deal, and find inspiration and comfort in seeing how others "rise above" their situation and keep a positive attitude on life (like, for example, some of the survivors of the Boston bombing - whose lives were changed in an instant). Having a larger perspective or sense of mission for one's life gives a great amount of strength and resiliency as well.

      Here's one of my favorite stories, from a young man who was diagnosed with progeria:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36m1o-tM05g

      Sadly, he passed away at 17 from his disease, but I really enjoyed watching his view of how to have a happy life.

      almost 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      I Believe that in an Oncologists office there should be two offices....one on each side of HIS. A Psychiatrist/Psychologist on one side and a KNOWLEDGEABLE Nutritionist on the other.
      BUT of course that will not be so we are left to our own devices. Oncologists are mostly NOT People Persons or they would have gotten into a different Specialty.....They give Chemo from a distance and that's just the way it is.

      almost 7 years ago
    • kkcomm's Avatar
      kkcomm

      Oh sweetie I am so sorry you feel alone. Sending you a virtual hug. You know we should have a hug button on this sight! I'm sure it hurts to feel alone. And I'm betting your husband has no idea that his actions are being perceived as uncaring. Men process things differently than we do. His way of coping is to keep busy. He probably thinks the worst thing he could do for you is to let you see he is scared. But I would bet my bottom dollar that he is. Keep you chin up. We will get through this together!

      almost 7 years ago
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      I’m so sorry! That is a bad social worker! I can’t believe that she told you to look for support on the internet....but I am offering my own support, all I can do is give you a big virtual HUG!!!!!
      I don’t think that you are in the best place for treatment- at least coming from the perspective of personal attention and service, is there any way at all that you could go to a different hospital or cancer center? This is really is too much and I’m so sorry that you are going through this! My social worker busted her buns for me and every other patient she took care of, always returning calls even late at night and well outside of work hours, besides her office number she gave out her cell number as well....wish I could mail her to you! Good luck and God bless!

      almost 7 years ago
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      I agree with Barryboomer’s answer as well, and my oncologist at actually has a psychiatrist ( pain management specialist but he helps with basic therapy as well ) and a dietitian right there in the cancer center, their offices are literally right across a 4’ wide hallway. And they actually share patient rooms, I have had all three in the same room at the same time with Barbara the social worker to make 6 including nurse and a very packed room! See how demanding I am! But you deserve this too!!!

      almost 7 years ago
    • Hoping4ever's Avatar
      Hoping4ever

      So sad to hear such Bad news. What is going on with this crazy world ? Why any one choses to be a social worker if he or she is not capable of dealing With human's basic needs in time of crises? I totally agree with barryboomer's suggestion , but what to do? Please stay positive and enjoy the few good things u said u have . They will help u pass this sorrow moments and move forward. Best wishes and hugs from each one of us in this site.

      almost 7 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      The first thing to do is to get the Insurance People to pay for both....lol......

      almost 7 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar
      Ejourneys

      I am so sorry -- these people work for you and they are not delivering as they should. (((Big Hugs)))

      almost 7 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I am so sorry. Hang in there! Munchkin needs you. Is there someone you can talk to about the social worker's attitude? That's horrible.

      almost 7 years ago
    • DoctorLee's Avatar
      DoctorLee

      Yep, been there, too. My two closest friends were so happy that I had returned to the US to live and just couldn't wait to get together, you know like old times. They did however, insist on knowing exacting why I had suddenly returned to the US since I had been having such a wonderful time living in South America, so I told them about my cancer diagnosis. Their response was to email me the website for the Cancer Support Organization they had used, and wish me well. I haven't seen or heard from them since and this was in March. I called the Cancer Support group 2X, left voicemails, I emailed them 2X no response, finally heard from the social worker there in August who said that there was a newcomer's meeting the next day and to be at it, so I was. Apparently they have 5 support groups--2 for breast cancer (as if that is the only cancer women get), 1 for lymphoma, 1 for prostrate cancer and 1 meeting for all of the former who have survived at least 18 months. In addition, they have many other activities--exercise, yoga, healthy cooking lessons, speakers, potlucks, etc., etc. I was interested in a couple of things and I was told by the social worker that she would call me withing 2 days to help me get setup for activities, but there really wasn't an appropriate support group for me. In addition, she was going to add me to the email list so that I would be aware of all upcoming events. Well, here it is October, no call. I have called her 2X more still no response. So the internet it is. It is difficult enough to go through having cancer for all of us without all this lack of support, especially from those who supposedly love us and those who are paid to help us. So, I am doing my best supporting myself, and seeking support however I can where I can. Sorry, I really needed to get that out.

      almost 7 years ago

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