• A wife left her husband after 29 years together when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Should she have done that?

    Asked by Bundoskip on Friday, January 18, 2013

    A wife left her husband after 29 years together when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Should she have done that?

    19 Answers from the Community

    19 answers
    • Suehendo's Avatar

      no! I have a good friend who had breast cancer and while she was getting her breast removed her husband left her. she is better off now, but the pain she went through was devastating.

      almost 4 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      I'm not real sure what type of information you're looking for here. Did this happen to you? If that's the reason the wife left...then I would say no, she shouldn't have done that. When you get married it's rich or poor, sickness and in health...

      almost 4 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      Something like this is never as simple as a yes or no answer. I think you already know that.

      almost 4 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      I do not have enough information to give an informed answer.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Its easy to say no, but without being the wife in question, its impossible to answer.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar

      If that is the only reason, then no. But usually there is more to the story than "she left me because I had cancer."

      almost 4 years ago
    • carm's Avatar

      SueRay1 is correct in that there is not enough information to form an answer. That being said, if what you state is really as simple as that I guess you have to also ask, "would a man want a wife who would leave him in a heartbeat the moment he gets sick?" There is always two sides to everything and it all depends on how you look at this glass...half empty or half full. If you know that, you might be able to answer your own question; especially if you are the one holding that glass. I hope you find your answer, Carm.

      almost 4 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      I try to refrain from judging others. We have no idea what her reasons were... we only know her timing.

      almost 4 years ago
    • tomget's Avatar

      Its a free country...wives leave husbands all the time..

      almost 4 years ago
    • notwillie's Avatar
      notwillie (Best Answer!)

      I am so sorry to hear of this but i know of two women whose husbands left them after a diagnosis of breast cancer and cervical cancer respectively. Sometimes people simply don't believe they have the strength to walk alongside during a serious illness. It might be a good time for that husband to focus on simply taking really good care of himself, both emotionally and physically. Who knows? Many good things may lie ahead. Hold on to hope!

      almost 4 years ago
    • notwillie's Avatar

      Oh, this is indeed sad. Even though we can't know the reason for this separation, it is a very painful thing to go through. When our son was diagnosed with a chronic illness at 14, my husband left us. Some people just can't handle illness, I guess. But what we found out was that there is life beyond the circumstances of today. And almost 30 years later, we can look back and see it as a doorway through which many good things came eventually. My son is doing quite well despite his disability and we are happy with our lives today.

      almost 4 years ago
    • mgm48's Avatar

      I remember my vows of 43+ years ago said "in sickness and health..." but sadly too many take a very casual view of these vows otherwise the divorce rate would be lower. With that said, I would admit that the timing makes an awful situation even worse. As others have said a friend's husband abandoned her when she was diagnosed with breast cancer but even she said that a lousy companion would be worse than none. If this happened to you, find a friend or get to know a WhatNexter and move on. There's more support out in the world than you'd ever guess.

      Keep it positive and Smile :)

      almost 4 years ago
    • Darryl1's Avatar

      That's cruel I've been with my husband for 26 years and I could never leave him in his time of need.He needs me now more then he ever did.Some people can't handle the thought of losing there loved one and they leave before the spouse can leave them.Marriage vows say in sickness and in health,I know it's stressful but how can you leave someone who REALLY needs you

      almost 3 years ago
    • goodgirl4's Avatar

      don't know the whole story . If he turned against her and would not reach out to her and would get creative in there lovemaking and was not doing all he could to get better and fight then yes she had a reason to leave him

      almost 3 years ago
    • goodgirl4's Avatar

      I think that we don't know the whole story. If he turned away from her became cold or distant because he could not make love to her anymore and would not get creative in his lovemaking then yes she had a reason to leave him

      almost 3 years ago
    • grammy14's Avatar

      My husband thought I would leave him after finding out he had prostate cancer.... but well he was wrong on that side! The Urologist was very nice to include me in all things with the diagnosis to what options we had and what might happen later down the road. He gave us books and pamphlets to read and we decided on Radiation!
      i was there for every treatment! it became our time to talk on the way to the Cancer Center and back. The Oncologist was a BIG help too, he used humor to make things seem easier to handle.
      Bad part was he was leaving in a few weeks and the next Doc was as straight laced as can be, he is starting to warm up...LOL.
      I think to I was lucky to have the time with my hubby then we were on a very slippery slope, I just had to leave my work. and that gave us only one income. My kids were teenagers and all.
      We all had more time to become a close family.
      As far as leaving him, why? to me it was a journey to our souls.

      over 2 years ago
    • armycat's Avatar

      this is a big NO base on the question..i know of one or two that did in fact leave.....because they didn't want to deal with it....i am very lucky my wife is still with me ....and very happy i have a great wife....yes i HAD prostate cancer

      over 2 years ago
    • Vic107's Avatar

      I'm 3 weeks removed from rectal cancer surgery. 7 hour operation, hard recovery. We're out of state and today my wife is packing up the kids and leaving me. She says I've been abusive and not allowed her to sleep (or rest). Since out of the hospital I've stayed out of bed, entertained and cared for the children. I've been thankful, determined, and optimistic throughout my recovery. Ironically, the day before her announcement she spent 12 hours in bed and another 3 at the movie theater. I stayed with the baby and cleaned and washed all dishes, cloth, and the condo. My wife has been mean to me throughout treatment and has been hitting the bottle hard. The fight against cancer was clear and visible - I knew what I needed to do to survive. However, my wife's inability to cope emotionally has put a lot of stress on me. She just can't handle it. She dives into a bottle of wine and then attacks me. In these circumstances the ones who are left earlier are the lucky ones. Tomorrow she leaves me with my kids 3 days before my last appointment. Don't do this to your partner. Stick it through or admit your a coward and bow out early. That's the least you can do...

      almost 2 years ago
    • bighgolf's Avatar

      I'm trying to deal with prostate cancer and a less than caring wife. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in August of 2014. The cancer was significant and had spread. The only option was surgery. With surgery came the probability of serious sexual performance issues. In September and beyond, she became very distant and spent a great deal of time away from our house. No proof, but quite certain she was and is having an affair. She and her two sons, who I became very close with, left this past month. Before the diagnosis we seemed to be a very happy couple with many long term plans. I'm struggling with how to deal with the cancer and being abandoned by my wife. We've been apart nearly one month and not one word or any form of communication except for divorce papers. I'm trying not to think of her as evil but unable to understand how someone could do this. I feel like I've been tossed aside like an old dishrag. It's especially puzzling since she is a care giver. She's a nurse practitioner.

      over 1 year ago

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