• A woman said to me, " you are so blessed" you should thank god.

    Asked by Newby2Cancer on Tuesday, January 9, 2018

    A woman said to me, " you are so blessed" you should thank god.

    This was said after explaining why my face looks like I was hit by a truck, and my hair is starting to fall out. "Blessed", how can that be? I just don't like being told that I "should be happy about it". Am I wrong? Do you think you are blessed?

    24 Answers from the Community

    24 answers
    • lh25's Avatar
      lh25

      I do actually think I'm blessed. Which is different then being happy about things

      However, that's a personal thing, and yes I would be irritated if someone else told me that I should feel that way.

      10 months ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I am blessed. Yes. Very. I generally say that I am "beyond blessed."

      But, like lh25 says, that is for you to determine, not for someone else to determine for you.

      10 months ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Why did she think you are blessed???

      10 months ago
    • SandiA's Avatar
      SandiA

      I agree with some of the others. I myself feel blessed but would not lke someone telling me how I should feel.

      I was struggling recently. Feeling really down about my hip and wanting it fixed right away and someone told me I should look at it as a blessing. That really upset me. So yes I feel blessed most of the time but don’t tell me how I should feel.

      10 months ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      Being grateful is not always easy.

      Breathe.

      Survive.

      10 months ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      Nope!

      10 months ago
    • judys3cats' Avatar
      judys3cats

      If I feel 'blessed' or 'lucky' it is for me to discover on my own. Not someone's place who has never experienced cancer treatments and surgeries to tell me how or what to feel. I find it very arrogant and dismissive. Why do we need to feel a certain way all the time - we are dynamic just as people without cancer are.

      10 months ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      No one has that right to tell you how you think. Being a survivor, you have rights to feel how you feel. If you feel blessed, it is fine. If you feel XXX off, that's fine too. But no one should tell you how to feel.

      10 months ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      I'd have thanked her and told her I hope she soon receives the same "blessing." I'm just THAT nasty with idiots who lay their bull on me.

      10 months ago
    • BobbyZ's Avatar
      BobbyZ

      I had someone to insinuate that if I had gone to church more often, maybe I wouldn't have gotten cancer. I believe in having religion, and believing in God, but that's pushing it. I wanted to punch them.

      9 months ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      How does that person know I'm not an atheist? I'm spiritual, but not religious. When someone says something like that the gets under my skin, I just give 'em the saccharine smile, nod and slowly back away...

      9 months ago
    • DoreenLouise's Avatar
      DoreenLouise

      Yes, I feel blessed by God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I am so grateful to have survived nearly 3 1/2 years since diagnosis. I feel that I am still alive to share my knowledge of medicine to others, to help heal others and to share with others my relationship with God.

      9 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Like DoreenLouise, I feel very blessed. Most people have a health problem or some other serious problem, and my cancer is preferable to other problems I could have. There's always someone worse off than we are---sit and watch people at a hospital if you don't believe it. Then go to a VA Hospital and sit on a bench for awhile.

      In Birmingham there's an older man with cerebral palsy in a wheelchair who sells parched peanuts on the sidewalk to support himself alone. He's always cheerful, but before Christmas some hoodlums robbed him of his rent money. Doesn't that story make you feel blessed and appreciative of your life?

      The word "blessed" isn't necessarily religious---you can believe your blessings come from the universe or the statue down the street.

      9 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Newby2Cancer, when you are feeling down about your diagnosis, remind yourself we are living in an age when we have treatments for cancer, and it hasn't been that long ago that they didn't. Wishing you the best!

      9 months ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      Barb, what a sad story, I hope some of the people in Birmingham helped the poor guy re-coup his stolen money. That would be an act of blessing, good karma, decency and just plain doing the right thing.
      P.S. What are parched peanuts?????

      9 months ago
    • banditwalker's Avatar
      banditwalker

      I take that about as serious as someone telling me to "have a good day". Take it with a grain of salt and go about my day any way I want to.

      9 months ago
    • judys3cats' Avatar
      judys3cats

      Here is another thought....someone with cancer often needs to just talk and grieve. Many times other people will not let that happen as it is uncomfortable for them. I have had two occurrences of breast cancer and this last one was devastating to me personally (mastectomy and reconstruction). I needed to grieve the loss and when someone tells me about someone else's worse predicament, it serves to minimize and silence. What can you say after someone tells you that 'you are blessed' or you are 'lucky'. You are stopped from talking about it which I think was the original intent. This is a sore point with me as I did feel very bad after a second diagnosis and was minimized and told how 'lucky' I was. The worst offenders were relatives!

      9 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Judys3cats, I understand, but you (and others) need to remember the person saying you are blessed is at least trying to make you feel better, i.e., they mean well, so focus on that. Sometimes they don't know WHAT to say, but they are making an attempt.

      If you still feel aggravated, say it IN A NICE WAY, and maybe you can improve the situation by explaining it.

      I personally appreciate anything said, and I don't focus on the literal meaning because the other person likely wasn't---they are just trying to be kind and don't deserve anger.

      9 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Molly72, yes, the story was in the newspaper with his picture smiling and with a website to donate to him, so I hope he got more than just his rent back.

      LOL Parched peanuts are roasted or baked and sold at football games in a little bag. They are delicious and the only way we eat them here. I didn't hear of boiled peanuts till I was grown, and think they are awful. Yuk.

      9 months ago
    • judys3cats' Avatar
      judys3cats

      @BarbarinBham I know what you are saying, but, sometimes, what people say does take me by surprise and I am literally speechless. Knowing that people do not mean harm, I would never express anger. When in doubt, I don't say anything. Often the stages of grief can go quickly, so on our own we can just get through something by a quick expression of our grief of where we are at that moment and then move on to a more positive frame of mind....

      9 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Everyone, we are all very fortunate and "blessed," because we are Americans in the USA, we have enough money for access to a computer, some type of way (insurance or other) to access our cancer treatments, and live in an age where scientists have developed cancer treatments. I could go on all day about how we are blessed, but I won't bore you all if you will get in the habit of thinking about how we are blessed instead of vice versa.

      (For instance, I wasn't born with a disease like cerebral palsy or anything else to overcome. . . .)

      9 months ago
    • De-Nae's Avatar
      De-Nae

      I do feel BLESSED because it was caught on time and the outcome could've been different. However, I don't want anyone telling me how I should feel, since I'm the one currently going through this journey.

      9 months ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      De-Nae, I agree, everybody should be able to have their own feelings. However, to me being blessed is a situation, and whether you recognize it or not is a feeling---we choose whether to feel fortunate or not.

      Anyone trying to convince you to feel blessed means well.

      9 months ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Yes, I am blessed. But it is my prerogative to say I am blessed. And I do point out that the Lord has blessed.

      9 months ago

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