• Am I allowed to be angry at my husbands prior employer

    Asked by RebeccaW on Friday, May 25, 2012

    Am I allowed to be angry at my husbands prior employer

    for "letting him go" only three weeks before we was going to try and come back after being gone for 7 months fighting stage 4 colon cancer? We are hoping he goes into remission. I'm thankful for what they did but I'm fighting anger that they couldn't wait for him. He's not done with treatments and now we have to figure out Cobra payments and I'm still unemployed. How do I let go of the bitterness?

    4 Answers from the Community

    4 answers
    • rustysflygirl's Avatar

      Yes, be very angry! I understand completely, the same thing happened to us. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer Feb. 21, 2012. He is still in chemo (one treatment left) we will see what the Doc orders next. Within 2 weeks of diagnosis he was canned. I don't have a job either.
      What we are doing is relocating across the US from TX. to Atlanta. I landed a job there.
      He was able to file short-term disability and so we don't have to worry about Cobra yet. Our hope is that my new job will provide insurance after the chemo is complete.
      We do not have any money to pay for the move, we can't pay our light bill. We are getting rid of our stuff and just driving out. He is having to switch Docs. but we have to do what we have to do to survive.
      So go ahead and be mad as heck, then step back and take a deep breath. There are resources out there to help with your Cobra. I think livestrong does or at least can help you find help.
      It is OK to be angry and bitter but don't let it consume you. Your husband is getting well. He feels ready to restart his career, ya'll are still together through all this, you do have some good things happening.
      Ya'll are in my thoughts and prayers.

      over 4 years ago
    • RebeccaW's Avatar

      Thank you! I've not been able to sleep and crying a lot. I know we will get through this.

      over 4 years ago
    • rustysflygirl's Avatar

      Ya'll will get through this. So will we. And I believe in my heart of hearts all things happen for a reason, even stage 4 colon cancer. I also believe things like this bring out the best in all of us.
      Go ahead and throw your pencils, stomp and scream, heck knock the snot out of pillow.
      Tomorrow is another day to try again.

      over 4 years ago
    • PhillieG's Avatar

      Hi Rebecca,
      Sorry to hear of your husband's dx. As I read you question and comments from RustyGirl, I wonder the legality of all that's happened. I thought the FMLA gave 1 year off but it's only 12 weeks. And RustyGirl, your husband getting canned after dx is sickening at best and should be criminal.
      It's obvious we need protection so we don't lose jobs for the "crime" of getting sick.

      I'd be angry as XXX. I think you need to try to let it go. While anger is a natural response in the long run it can hurt YOU if you don't let it go.

      I was fortunate to have been working for a company that did the opposite of what many do. I was temping and they put me on staff so I'd have better benefits, they also took care of my LTD disability and SSDI. I don't mean to rub in it, I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I was surprised in one way but not in another. For it being a very large global company I was, for whatever reason, treated like a person and not a number. I guess my point is we are at the mercy of others instead of protected by law.

      Do things happen for a reason? Who knows... It certainly can often give a person a greater appreciation of life and the fragility of it.
      I hope you can let go of your anger and move forward.
      I hope we all land on our feet when all is said and done

      over 4 years ago

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