• Anyone else losing their adult child to cancer?

    Asked by Kurious on Thursday, November 7, 2019

    Anyone else losing their adult child to cancer?

    I am gut-wrenched my daughter has a couple of months to live. She has fought for 6 yrs and even ran 7 World Marathons while under all kinds of chemo trials. Her 6 yr old daughter doesn't know yet, but soon will and my heart is broken from all this. I am living a nightmare I wish I could wake up from. :(((

    21 Answers from the Community

    21 answers
    • beachbum5817's Avatar
      beachbum5817

      @Kurious, I am so sorry to hear about this. Life can be so unfair at times. I will keep you and your daughter and her family in my thoughts and prayers. We are here for you. Take care.

      13 days ago
    • Dawsonsmom's Avatar
      Dawsonsmom

      Kuriuos, I’m so sorry. Loss is always difficult, but when it is our child, it is particularly gut wrenching. It is unnatural for our children to die before us and therefore the one loss that is often never completely resolved. Her daughter is so very young, it breaks my heart. Again, so, so very sorry for you and your family.

      13 days ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      We have no children so I can't speak to the feelings of losing a child. But we have a couple people in our family that have lost theirs and just from watching what they have been through I can see that it's a terrible thing. You never know, miracles do happen and maybe one will come her way and prove those doctors wrong. We have to keep hope.

      13 days ago
    • Kurious' Avatar
      Kurious

      Thank you all for your responses.

      12 days ago
    • andreacha's Avatar
      andreacha

      Kurious - I am so sorry about what you are going through. I don't know how I would feel any different than you do if I were faced with my daughter's death. I can only pray for healing for your whole family, particularly for your granddaughter. As Greg says, don't rule out a miracle. I am a perfect example of one I'm told.

      12 days ago
    • TerriL's Avatar
      TerriL

      I am so sorry! It was hard enough losing my mom to cancer and going through cancer myself. I cannot imagine losing a child to it. I will pray for all of you

      11 days ago
    • Kurious' Avatar
      Kurious

      At this point, I don't think it's a matter of giving up. In 2014 she was diagnosed with the most aggressive breast cancer where only "2% " who have it make the 5 year mark. Those are some odds to beat, but she did it, and I'm grateful for that unexpected time shared with her. But, there also comes a time to accept the things you can not change. That's where courage plays a part That's what I'm trying to do. Her entire spine is covered in cancer, it's in her lungs, hips, legs, rib cage and 50% of her liver. I believe it was the many chemo trials she received from Columbia Medical University in New York City which helped to prolong her life. What people don't realize is that major medical institutions all share information with each other world-wide when it comes to major diseases and their treatments . So, it's really not like one place is better than the next. Also, some cancers are better than others when it comes to mutation and ability to adapt in fighting the chemo drugs used to attack them. They actually change their biological structure so they can survive. This is what the most aggressive cancers do. This is what's happening with my daughter's cancer. I will give my daughter the information about the Hospital Santa Monica, but I believe ultimately, her future is in G-ds hands.

      Thank you all for caring enough to respond. May G-d bless you.

      11 days ago
    • savingrace's Avatar
      savingrace

      I've never experienced the loss of a child but the loss of a loved one can be devastating. You said the key words, her future is in God's hands. Just hold on knowing that He is with you all. He will give you the strength and courage that is needed for your daughter as well as your granddaughter. You all are in my prayers.

      11 days ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      I can't imagine what you are feeling. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

      11 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      Kurious, I have just successfully completed treatment for breast cancer, but I have also been where you are right now - and where you are is harder. This is a time to call up all your strength so you can be the gentle voice that comforts her when she needs it. Just as she has always needed you to have her back, she really needs it now and you can do it because you love her. I am a person of faith so I believe we will all be re-united one day, but nothing really takes the edge off the sadness right now. I send my prayers to you and your family for strength and peace.

      11 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I am so very sorry. I lost my son suddenly (heart attack) one year ago this month. Losing your child is the hardest thing a mom can go through ... or that's what I think. My heart really hurts for you and for her kids who will lose their mom.

      I will pray for you and your daughter and her kids as you all go through this very difficult time.

      11 days ago
    • Kurious' Avatar
      Kurious

      I believe in prayer. I pray G-d will give me strength. Thank you all for your comforting words.

      11 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      All of the above and more.I sure can relate to the hurt it causes to loose your children ,etc

      11 days ago
    • Kurious' Avatar
      Kurious

      PaulineJ: Thank you for responding. So sorry you went through this kind of agony. Any advice?

      10 days ago
    • Lorie's Avatar
      Lorie

      Kurious, , as Greg said there is always hope for a miracle...leave a little room for that, ok? For now I have to admire your brave spirit and it sounds like you've been saying the Serenity Prayer lately. If not you've been blessed with the basic concept of it. We humans arent prepared for things like this and I wish you and family peace in times of need.

      I light be losing mine to something other than cancer and feel the pain .Lorie

      10 days ago
    • Kurious' Avatar
      Kurious

      I just finished reading " It's Okay Not to be Okay", by Sheila Walsh. For such a small book of 198 pages, I was surprised how the writer covered so many heart breaking topics with her insight to them. Worth the read.

      10 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      Kurious The first son was 1 year old when he got adopted behind my back from the government,because I was a single mother and had to work,because they suppossingly didn't give welfare.etc.My second son was 3 weeks old when I had to sign papers.The girl I was living with couldn't deal with his crying. My third and youngest son was 8 years old.He was molested from his dad at 4 years old and when he was going to school at 8 years old.I had quite a bit of problems with my 3rd husband with being a pervert and then tried to molest my daughter the 3rd time when I went to work.etc.I asked the social worker if she had any suggestions on helping my son with his wetting and messing his pants going to school.Then it became a 10 year of XXX for him and me until he was 18 they through these children out of institutions,because of money.Then from being homeless and in prison on and off he became a compulsive lier like them(the government) etc.He's now 46 and in prison for a 2nd or third time.Anyway,it doesn't have anything to do with passing,but I don't know what;'s harder loosing a child through death as society calls it ot though not having your living children and 2 not accepting you as their mother and there's no relationship with 2 of his (the fist son 's )childen and 2 great grandsons.And 2 grandaughters from the second son and one greatgrandaughter.Then my youngest son lost his son through a divorce in Japan and there is no relationsip,there either.Sorry for all the negativity when you're going though losing your child.But I'm 75 years old and still surviving.It doesn't go away,but you find a way to survive it all.

      10 days ago
    • Kurious' Avatar
      Kurious

      PaulineJ: Thank you for opening up and sharing about the difficulties in your life. I am so sorry for all the hardships in your life. I suppose the human spirit is stronger than anyone could imagine. Are you able to feel happiness in your life or are you just breathing to survive? I know the situation with my daughter will change me, but I don't know exactly how.

      10 days ago
    • PaulineJ's Avatar
      PaulineJ

      My happiness and joy comes from being saved.And God being there with me all the way.We can make it only wth him.You also will be okay.The Church is always keeping each other in prayer.God loves you...

      10 days ago
    • Kurious' Avatar
      Kurious

      Thank you. That's what I needed to hear.

      10 days ago
    • Ohbruff's Avatar
      Ohbruff

      Kurious I am so sorry for your heart breaking situation. I am a two year survivor of breast cancer. Last year while finishing treatment, my 40 year old son was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. Rare blood cancer...especially in a. Young person. I struggled daily with the reality of this incurable disease. 6 months into his treatment, the chemo caused a blood clot and he suffered a massive stroke. Now, he is attempting to relearn walking and some talking. I would give anything for this to happen to me instead of him. It is heart wrenching but we do laugh and try to find the beauty in each day. I try and accept that I can’t control this but I can appreciate and love our time together. Sending you and your daughter prayers. God bless your family

      5 days ago

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