• Anyone have experience of feeling like a charity case?

    Asked by KRBaum on Monday, February 11, 2013

    Anyone have experience of feeling like a charity case?

    I'm entering my 5th month of diagnosis, and I've noticed that when (I've been very open and public about my diagnosis) people learn about my diagnosis, they immediately want to help. This includes people that come out of the woodwork, people who I haven't talked to in years - or even people I'm not close with at all. At first I thought it was incredibly kind and sweet, but then I noticed over time, they'd "help" and then leave or I wouldn't hear from them much again. At times I feel like these people "help" because they want to feel good, and not because of me. Then I feel like a charity case, like they are only "helping" because they feel sorry for me. I'm single, and especially having this problem with guys. They take me on "dates" but then later say they are just trying to make me laugh or trying to "help" me, and aren't interested. Does anyone have ANYTHING remotely like this going on in their life?? Or relate in some way??

    1 Answer from the Community

    • StrongSteph's Avatar

      I can relate!! The bottom line for me was that when I was in treatment I needed to accept help....I needed to allow people to help me. People often do not know what to do for someone who is sick and it is very awkward for people when you tell them you are sick. I often got the look of complete pity...and other times there were sincere offers to help. As for the guys taking you out..... my gut says go and laugh! You can always say no if someone seems insincere. Let people help....I hope you are feeling okay!!

      over 5 years ago

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