• as a spouse finding out my husband has cancer what can i do to make it easier for him as hes more worried about me and i'm not the one s

    Asked by dcfitz on Friday, January 18, 2013

    as a spouse finding out my husband has cancer what can i do to make it easier for him as hes more worried about me and i'm not the one s

    10 Answers from the Community

    10 answers
    • SpunkyS's Avatar

      In addition to the other answers I would add to take care of yourself, including taking time away from him. I gave my sister a "day off" once a week during the hardest times. And would tell her she was "dismissed" for a few hours every day. It made life better for both of us. Other people would fill in if needed. It gave both of us space and time for her to do something that refreshed her.

      about 6 years ago
    • Carol-Charlie's Avatar

      My husbands tears the night of my diagnosis were the most pain I suffered with my cancer. I could not tell him everything would be fine. I wanted to, but.... I was Stage IV Ovarian Cancer... That was 7 years ago and I'm Cancer Free now for almost that long. My husband was there for me, he was tender and loving, He worked full time, he did the housework... he cooked he was there in all ways. Sometimes as he'd be holding me at night, I'd laugh and say "Boy, when you said "In sickness and in health" you didn't realize what you were saying???? He told me he'd do it again. I've been blessed with the right man. You sound like you're the same.

      about 6 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      If I read your question and profile correctly, this is all new to both of you and he hasn't started treatment. At this point, let him worry and fret over you, work to prepare you both for the road ahead. It makes him feel a little more in control and useful while he worries about becoming a burden and also distracts him from the fear he is feeling. He needs to feel needed, busy and important right now because he has had his footing shaken. Feeling "normal" will help him beat this as much as anything. There will be time enough later when he has to depend on you so let him build up some bank in advance. Also, respect him and don't talk about him in the future tense as helpless. He is fearing that enough. Most important, sort out any money details now. This will prove to be a bigger stress-er for both of you than the cancer if its not.

      about 6 years ago

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