• attitude/personality

    Asked by emerald on Wednesday, June 1, 2016

    attitude/personality

    Since surgery & chemo complications etc its now been 3yrs since diagnosis. This yr has been a better yr.

    my question is does anyone in similar position as me feel different? Or almost like noone is going to tell me when i can go out or do something i want to do. I feel almost like a different person and am quite determined and almost an angry feeling (but not really)

    I just dont feel like the ol me.
    thanx for any responses id appreciate it

    16 Answers from the Community

    16 answers
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      LIVE.....Everybody has cancer inside. You are Healthy so live like.....Get Busy....

      over 3 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      It can be a scary world once you have been shown your limitations

      You are a different person. You have allowed yourself to be purposefully poisoned on the promise that the poison would destroy your ailment before the ailment destroyed you. You also let someone cut you up. I also let them burn me.

      Cant help but to, in more than a few quiet moments, wonder what the H was wrong with me to allow such treatment? I felt humiliated and faithless. I thought a lot about WW II concentration camp victims and cried over my humiliation as well as the physical agonies.

      And now I am not only not the same person mentally but some of my physicality is destroyed or diminished as well.

      I am, yet again, beginning to look into how to heal a radiation scar. I have been steadily bleeding for 14 years. :(

      over 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      One thing I want to say is no one is the same person they were a year ago or a week ago, A person who enrolls as a college student is not the same person who graduates: a woman who bears is not the same person she was before her pregnancy she is a mother. We are all shaped by the events of our life both the good and the painful.
      You should go ahead and attempt to do anything you want except those things your Dr. specifically prohibits, Also you might find new pursuits that are even more exciting than your former pursuits, you may find that the new you is more exciting than the old you.
      And go ahead and get roaring red hot angry. Sometimes getting angry can spur you on.

      over 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Let me be the first person to tell you. Get out there and kick donkeys.

      over 3 years ago
    • Phoenix76's Avatar
      Phoenix76 (Best Answer!)

      Yes, we're not quite the same after feeling the icy touch of cancer. But, "different" doesn't have to equal "less than".

      I find that I'm a little less impatient with older folk who are moving "too slow" - I remind myself "You never know what they've been through." I'm a little more compassionate with others in pain. I'm more grateful than I was before, especially for the 'everyday' things.

      I was once on a flight in which a pilot was sitting next to me, and he helped explain what the plane was doing at different points in the flight. I told him how fearful I was when things got turbulent. He pointed out that as long as the plane is moving forward, it "wants" to fly. I've remembered that at different points in my life - the body "wants" to heal - keep moving forward!

      Perhaps you may want to look into classes offered in your community - try something you've never done before. Nothing lifts the spirits like learning something new! And, you may also consider ways in which you could give back to the community - maybe help out a troubled youngster, or other volunteer work.

      Remember that even Mount Everest is summited only one step at a time.

      over 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      You might also get in touch with your local YMCA. My YMCA offers five different programs for cancer survivors, one of which is sponsored by the LIVESTRONG foundation. They also have a licensed physical therapist on staff.

      over 3 years ago
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      You can either "get busy living' or you can "get busy dying"

      Shawshank redeption...my motto also.

      over 3 years ago
    • emerald's Avatar
      emerald

      I appreciate everyones input.

      i didnt want to come across as a winer.
      i have had many other problems with lungs and heart since and still going through long term effects( gyno).

      I have always been a strong person this has really altered my attitude.

      i have taken up music instrument lesson and have fostered children while have a disabled daughter myself. So im not feeling sorry for myself and i have always helped others.

      its just this attitude i seem to have within...as in if i want to go out and see a band or want to push my limits tho my body is aching constantly i have my husband and family saying slow down or u have changed and want to do more and yet when i admit im in pain they still expect too much from me but i dont get support

      My husband told me recently that he resents me for having cancer. That broke me.

      i feel quite alone & exhausted but still have this feeling like i want to do everything now.
      terrible flashbacks wont leave me either and i cant sleep

      ive been on here for months & offered my support to lots of sufferers & never complain as i didnt want to burden people ...i saw Barry B always saying hurtful things to people and for months have stayed away bcoz of this And now finally i come on here reluctantly for help & he is first to comment with a not so nice reply.

      i only wanted to know if others had this same feeling as i dont want to talk to the real world.

      but thankyu to the empathetic people out there.
      dont think i will share anymore.

      over 3 years ago
    • Schlegel's Avatar
      Schlegel

      I'm sorry your husband said that, but I can also understand. If you have counselors at your cancer center, I recommend you see one together.
      Yes, we feel different after having cancer. We have faced death and survived. At the same time, if you are only a few years out, the fear of its return is there.
      Do what you want to do. Do not wait for someone to tell you when you can. Last year I was homebound for five and a half months due to spinal issues. When I thought I was ready to go out, I went.
      Forgot to say if there is a cancer support group at your cancer center or community, go. Also, go to all the cancer events you can. Here in North Carolina, we have lots of these sponsored by different groups.
      Hang in there. I wish you well.

      over 3 years ago
    • emerald's Avatar
      emerald

      Thankyou for making me feel like someone gets it :)

      over 3 years ago
    • DoreenLouise's Avatar
      DoreenLouise

      Emerald, Please continue to share your wisdom with us. Each of us are trying to determine how to live again following a cancer diagnosis. We are here to support you.

      over 3 years ago
    • BHS's Avatar
      BHS

      Emerald, God made us individuals. The things others say to hurt you, reflect badly on them not on you. I don't respond the way you do, because I only wish for enough energy to clean my house. But that doesn't make either of us wrong. Each one of us has a reason for being here. So hold your head high, We are all looking for the best. Don't shut yourself off because you don't agree with everybody. We never will. And listen for God's voice in your heart and follow it!

      over 3 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      We have the magic pen and re write a lot our up coming sto
      Story.

      over 3 years ago
    • schweetieangel's Avatar
      schweetieangel

      Im sorry to hear as well what your husband said. That has got to hurt,
      I am in the same boat not knowing how to survive after surviving cancer and the treatments. My Dr is trying to get me into groups where i am around people like me. And that do projects cratsf etc.. Wellness groups. and Picking up the Pieces group was highly recommended its about after cancer not sur eif they have that where you are. But there is a book as well that i went out and bought as i am on the waiting list for the group for Sept. Talk to your oncologist.. they should have suggestions on places you can go. Have a great support group.. get out when you can even for 20 min walk a day to be by yourself and just focus on your breathing. You are not alone.. hang in there.. big hugs

      over 3 years ago
    • Schlegel's Avatar
      Schlegel

      schweetieangel, what is the name of the book?

      over 3 years ago
    • emerald's Avatar
      emerald

      Schweetieangel Thanku for ur support & what is the book

      over 3 years ago

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