• Best things to say or do for support

    Asked by kamelio on Tuesday, January 24, 2012

    Best things to say or do for support

    I am being there for my mom but wanna make sure I'm saying and doing the right things

    6 Answers from the Community

    6 answers
    • annie2012's Avatar

      I would suggest getting come cancer caregiver books for some ideas and to learn how to deal with your mom's diagnosis yourself. You can get a free one called Guide for Cancer Supporters (step by step ways to help a relative or friend fight cancer) by going to www.blochcancer.org. Otherwise, I would just tell her to stay positive, tell her how strong she is and how much you love her. And tell her to take many deep breaths (throughout the day) to let the stress out. I'm not sure what her condition is (or the weather for that matter) but maybe go for walks together. Just getting outside in some fresh air can make a lot of difference. :)
      Best of Luck and praying for a full recovery for your mom.

      over 6 years ago
    • RuthAnne's Avatar

      This is a tough question. All people are different and all people with cancer are different, too. I don't think that you can assume that what would be considered supportive for one person will be seen as supportive by another. I have two grown daughters who offer support in very different ways - some are helpful and some are not. I think your best bet is to ask your mother what she needs and wants from you. Ask her to be honest and forthcoming. Of all the horrible things that cancer is, it can make us more honest with each other than we thought we could ever be, and it can help build an incredible bond between people. It is so good that you want to be the best for your mother. She's proud of you, I'm sure. Best of luck to you both.

      over 6 years ago
    • Liyhann's Avatar

      Ask your mom what is on the top of her "worry list." Then tell her you will do what you can to take care of it - per her instructions. If she says you can't do it for her, then offer to help her do it. For example, I've got mounds of paperwork that I just don't want to get to, but if someone is here with me, it helps me have the motivation to do it (I guess this is because I don't want to waste their time, or so I can use someone for feedback if I get stuck on what to do with a particular piece of paper). Also, household chores are a huge pain in the neck for me - if your mom is the same way, offer to help with those. Finally, the best help is loving support, hugs, smiles - and from your picture, I'm guessing you've already aced that category!

      over 6 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      A positive attidude!! Keep the spirits high, don't think that it's the end of the world. Lots of people survive cancer, several of us for multiple times. There are over 11 million cancer survivors in the US. It is tough for some people to do, some people are just negative in nature and will be downers about everything, hopefully she is not. I like to go at it like, this is just a stop along the way, lets get it done, and get on with life.
      good luck to you and her, may it be an easy battle for her.

      over 6 years ago
    • kamelio's Avatar

      Thanks for the advice.. mom is a very positive amazing person. My love for her is immeasurable. As soon as she was diagnosed I did get her into the best surgeon and oncologist in Syracuse.. quickly.. I stayed with her and my dad after he BMX as dad had a broken back (when it rains it pours!) I did all her phone calls and appts .. got her into feel good look good class and got her some wigs/ gift baskets.. But great idea on the housework etc.. I'm sure she gets tired and i can always go do her laundry etc.. I have always called her at least three times a day.. even though we live close to each other and see each other alot. I guess I want to make sure I am doing enough. She is my world<3

      over 6 years ago
    • MaggiesPlace's Avatar

      Several years ago I came dowwn with a terrible case of the flu. I know this may be a bad comparison, but all I could think of was this.... *And this too shall pass*. And thinking that the next week it would probably be gone or at least I would feel better really helped.
      And now, facing side effects, but also knowing that I will beat cancer in the end really does help, because it's true...*And this too shall pass*. Go ahead and laugh, but in my humble opinion nothing can be worse than *natural child birth*! Did that once and never done did it again!

      over 6 years ago

    Help the community by answering this question:

    Create an account to post your answer Already have an account? Sign in!

    By using WhatNext, you agree to our User Agreement, and Privacy Policy

    Read and answer more breast cancer questions.  Also, don't forget to check out our Breast Cancer page.