• Best way to die

    Asked by sherry1352 on Thursday, May 19, 2016

    Best way to die

    I have terminal esophageal cancer with mets to bone and lungs and have been offered lifetime chemo. If I quit the cancer in lungs will kill me. The chemo is causing the torture of either diarreah or constipation. I have a painful anal tear. Should I quit chemo and go on palliative care when I have difficulty breathing. Or should I start proceedings for death with dignity.

    19 Answers from the Community

    19 answers
    • meyati's Avatar

      I was quickly referred to the D team, D for Dispair and Dysfunction. I have Dr, Garg Radiation, and he used an experimental radiation treatment- and he kept at it in proving that surgery spreads this. 2 summers ago, he finally got the tumor board to prohibit a surgical biopsy if it pops up again. I guess they'll do a needle biopsy. I have that fabulous Dr. Bernard Agbemadzo. So far, I'm cancer free from the original or a secondary cancer.

      They wouldn't even let me fire my first oncologist, who was horrible--They were trying to run me out of the clinic. I somehow connected with others that had this online. They were run out and not even accepted at other clinics. Having facial disfiguerment that's combined with incurable--I know that tobacco caused cancers are horrible to look at, but they usually can be cured- and the clinic and doctor look good for treating these patients- and Everyone that sees them says- Don't smoke or chew. Do you know of Steve Schiff? He died in 18 months from a new SSC that was found on his congressional health exam. That was the only skin cancer they ever found on him. Mine was ignored for years and years. I begged Kirtland to take it off, UNMH to take it off, St. Jo, Pres, Lovelace-plastic surgeons, dermatologists-I just spent 5 months trying to get Pres to remove 2 bug bites from my arm they hurt-itched and kept changing size-lab doen't know what they were, anyway, they didn't want me looking ugly-dying- and me telling how it was ignored for over 20 years. I even sat naked at UNMH every semester for the dermatology students for 3 years. I got tired of being called names by what were supposed to be the best dermatologists in America. So Pres oncology tried to run me off.

      A person can accept rare, a person can accept incurable, but a person cannot accept 3 appointments on the same day- same hour and at 3 different clinics-Pill Hill-Kaseman Oncology-and MD Anderson Radiology- we know that MD Anderson is attached to oncology, but there aren't any connecting doors, and a person must catch the elevator, and run a block- walk around or drive around buildings--or the other way around. Then showing up for appointments and they say the doctor-whoever isn't there.

      The 3 of us have a good relationship. After what I've been through, I'm terrified of changing the relationship.

      almost 5 years ago
    • judyinflorida's Avatar

      This is such a tough question to ask and to answer. I know, because I am in the same boat. After fighting long and hard with every treatment I could take, I have finally come to the end of the road. My last chemo treatments knocked the stuffings out of me and put me in the hospital. My doctor and I decided at that point to stop treatment. Since I know a lot about hospice and their program I decided to take that route. Many people choose hospice only at the very end of their lives and miss the many benefits they offer along the way. I have known hospice patients that have lived over a year and even a few that dropped out because they got better! No one knows how long they will live when they stop treatment and go for palliative care.

      Right now I am feeling good. About a week ago I started feeling some symptoms that I recognized as progression. So that means the tumor is either growing, has migrated or is affecting some other organs. That being said, the discomfort (not pain) is easily managed with the pain pills I have. Otherwise, I am doing fine. This gives me time to get my ducks in a row and to do the things I want and need to do. In the end I plan on making my own decision as to the time, place and method I will utilize to accomplish death with dignity. Mine is complicated because my husband is terminal too and we plan to go together. I think I will know when it's time. So you can say that I'm "using" hospice, and I am, but I think they will understand. I'm taking it day to day and today is a good day. I treasure each good day and I'm hoping for many more, but preparing for when there aren't. Wishing you all the best.

      almost 5 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      Sherry I believe we all have our definition of "death with dignity" and we all have our definition of "quality of life" For myself I would like to go out in a blaze of PAIN and glory. preferably alone or with a clergyman standing by. But I would like to have the option of screaming a bit without the Hospice Dark Angels coming after me with their pain relieving poisons. I really believe that a few screams does not diminish the glory, (or dignity if you prefer). That is my final desire. It is not for everyone. But it fits my belief that that the more we suffer in this life the less we will suffer in the next.

      almost 5 years ago

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