• C0-worker is skeptical as if I have cancer or faking???!!

    Asked by NoLiver on Wednesday, October 9, 2019

    C0-worker is skeptical as if I have cancer or faking???!!

    I am without words. Today I was talking to another coworker about how my treatments are going and what's next when another coworker butted in and said "I don't know, you don't look sick, are you sure you have cancer"? I asked if she thought I was faking or something and the response was, "well, it happens all the time". I had to consider if losing my job was worth hitting her right in the face!

    Have any of you ever had someone say something like this?

    16 Answers from the Community

    16 answers
    • Dawsonsmom's Avatar
      Dawsonsmom

      This says nothing about you and everything about her. How insensitive.....begs the question does she “fake” illnesses. Cancer pts don’t always look obviously sick, but they still have cancer. I might be tempted to tell her how dismissive and insensitive I found her comment and hope she never has to face what you are going through, but if she does, that no one questions it.

      14 days ago
    • po18guy's Avatar
      po18guy

      As Jar Jar Binks would say: "How wooood!" Should she ask again, tell her that you are being treated for "Nunya." If she presses for what that means, tell her "Nunya business"

      14 days ago
    • NoLiver's Avatar
      NoLiver

      Thanks, I just can't get this out of my mind, I see those cases on tv every now and then where someone is faking to get go fund me money. I guess when I start losing hair and look like a sick person that will make her feel better. Karma will come one day.

      14 days ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I wouldn't wish anything bad on another, but that Karma girl does have a way of finding some people. I agree.

      14 days ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      People say stupid stuff.. Just ignore them.

      13 days ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      Most people are very uninformed about cancer until it hits them. Just ignore them and keep on trucking.

      13 days ago
    • Jayne's Avatar
      Jayne

      As if you don't have enough to contend with! Unreal.

      13 days ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      If you have been open w/HR (some people can be, others can't -- depends on the company), I'd be hiking my butt to the HR office to lodge a complaint. If you've filed FMLA, they have a diagnosis in the file... I work insurance and been on FMLA, so... Good luck. And I hope people stop being stupid in your general vicinity!

      13 days ago
    • Dawsonsmom's Avatar
      Dawsonsmom

      Like cancer, there is currently no cure for stupid.

      13 days ago
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      I agree. No cure for stupidity! Through my own experience, I've learned what to say and what not to say. But people really don't understand cancer until they get it. It's a shame. And the patient has to deal with unkind words as well as dealing with the beast. It's terrible.
      But it's in all situations. When I had my first child, and moved across the county, my brother in law said something to the effect of How's it now that your not working? I remember thinking that dealing with a newborn and getting situated in a new house was the hardest work I have ever done.
      So every situation can lead to people saying stupid things.

      12 days ago
    • po18guy's Avatar
      po18guy

      Albert Einstein reportedly stated that he believed only two things were limited: the universe and human stupidity - but he wasn't certain about stupidity.

      12 days ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      She is a phucking idiot (and nasty, too, in her stupidity and lack of empathy). I hope you don’t have to have much to do with her at work.

      11 days ago
    • Bug's Avatar
      Bug

      What an idiot. I agree with Dawsonsmom - it does beg the question Does she fake illness? It was mean, too. I don’t blame you for wanting to smack her.

      11 days ago
    • Nana52's Avatar
      Nana52

      You'll always find those co-workers who think the limelight should always be on them and NOT anyone else in the office. So sorry you went through this. Best remedy...ignore them. Sometimes ignorance cannot be fixed!

      10 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      I had lots of people say how good i looked for someone with stage 4 cancer, but no one ever doubted to my face if I was truly sick.

      My experience is that LOTS of us cancer survivors look perfectly healthy. I am glad you do!!!

      When i was pregnant with my son, i didn't show for a long time. My coworker showed right away. I was accused of lying about being pregnant. I still shake my head about that.

      8 days ago
    • CASSIEME1's Avatar
      CASSIEME1

      LIVING WITHCANCER,
      WITH MY SON I GAINED 10 POUNDS. WHEN I TOOK HIM OUT TO CHURCH AT 2MONTHS OLD EVERYONE KEPT ASKING ME WHOSE BABY WAS HE. AND HE WEIGHED 6LBS 3 OZ.

      6 days ago

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