Dear Spring 2025,
Hi. I'm Aliza and I'm a BC patient and a Medical Librarian who's retired but keeps in practice in this site and elsewhere. I offer advice (usually non medical), referrals to doctors, hospitals/institutions, agencies, etc. and research when required or requested.
Kudos to you for having such a devoted husband! I've been lucky as well in that my fiancé has been equally devoted, but it sounds to me, a bit like not only like you want him to have time to himself, but that you (underline you) want some "me time" as well. This is perfect legitimate!
What I'm going to suggest for you and your husband may sound a bit different at first, but bear with me, is to phone CancerCare. The Social Workers at CancerCare are amazing! They are specifically trained to deal with the very specific needs of Cancer patients and their caregivers. This isn't like "regular therapy". No one cares about your "toilet training"...;) and no one's going to "blame your mother"...;) Each of you can get assigned to a different Social Worker and you can go there in person or have telephone sessions-your choice. My fiancé and I see CancerCare Social Workers. We recently started. I'm sorry that I didn't think of it sooner. I was diagnosed in August and had my mastectomy in December and it was afterwards that I thought of it. Before I was so wound up with medical issues. I should have remembered earlier though because they helped me 2 years earlier when my dad was dying from CLL and I was one of his caretakers. I think in your case, your husband may need "permission" from a professional to leave you alone or with a family member. Cancer is frightening. He may be afraid that if he lets you out of his sight that you won't be there when you get back. I'm no social worker, but I kind of have an understanding of how these things might work, so I know they can be really helpful.
The other thing I'd recommend is that your husband and maybe you too if you're interested and able) start to get involved a bit in some community things, whether it's political, environmental, or joining a book group (which speaks to my heart as a Librarian...;)) If you cannot locate a book group in your area, there is an online one called www.goodreads,com. You can track your titles, find new ones, join small genre book groups, make virtual friends, write book reviews, and read others' reviews. It's a start. I love it!! I do have other ideas but I don't want to inundate you or your husband. Feel free to contact me whenever you wish either on the site or email me offsite.
I hope things work out and both of you get to enjoy the free time you both need. If you can do that, then the time you spend together will be even better!!