• Christmas stress - breaking tradition

    Asked by BobbiW on Thursday, December 20, 2012

    Christmas stress - breaking tradition

    Is anyone feeling the pre-Christmas stress? I was diagnosed with Cholangriacarcinoma in Aug. 2012. Our traditional Christmas has been my side of the family going to my mom's for Christmas Eve. There are approx. 25 people there (inc. lots of kids). I feel it is too stressful this year with the commotion and, since I am having difficulty moving about (I'll need a walker or wheelchair to maneuver), I've told my mom and daughter that we (hubby & me) won't make it this year and spend a quiet time at home and, that if anyone wants to stop in for a short visit that day/night or Christmas Day, ok.

    My hubby thinks this is crazy & angers him. His point is that this might be my last Christmas and doesn't want me to spend it without my family around; Christmas is a time of celebration w/family. He wants my immediate family to spend Christmas Eve (mom, daughter & her family, my brother) - not with all the nieces/nephews/their kids we hardly ever see. UGH! I'm in a dilemma what to do! HELP!

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • lynn1950's Avatar
      lynn1950

      This is time for a new normal. Call it playing the cancer card, but you need to do what is best for you. I am sorry that your hubby is having problems with this, but this too shall pass. Having people stop by sounds just right.

      almost 7 years ago
    • packerbacker's Avatar
      packerbacker

      My husband and I used to do all the running around on Christmas: My family, his Dad's, and then the rest of his family. We stopped doing that way before cancer walked into our lives. Thanksgiving is also big with his family. Last year (diagnosed summer of 2011), I just couldn't make it, I really didn't feel good. They all understood. At first, my husband wasn't happy, but he saw that I was uncomfortable and he took care of me. He felt bad for pushing me. I made it to Christmas last year, but we didn't stay long. But, that's only about 10 people. Like it has been said, if you do go, maybe you can find a spot to sit and let them come to you. I like the idea of inviting people over to see you at your home. And, tell your husband not to be so morbid, who knows what next year will bring? Hopefully, he will realize that you are more important than "making an appearance" that may leave you feeling worse. I hope you find some joy and peace and love this Christmas and every day!

      almost 7 years ago
    • BobbiW's Avatar
      BobbiW

      Thank you all for your input!! Hubby and I talked some more and he agrees - it's better to have some quiet time together during this hectic season. Today, my step-son and his family are stopping in for a visit on their way home from a Christmas celebration at his wife's side. My wonderful daughter and her family are going to stop in for a while tomorrow before heading to my mom's for dinner. It seems the best way -- and will reduce the stress for both hubby and me.

      Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year!

      almost 7 years ago

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