• Curious about how many people you have in your inner care circle, people that are taking care of you. Not including your Doctors and Nurses.

    Asked by dollymama on Wednesday, July 13, 2016

    Curious about how many people you have in your inner care circle, people that are taking care of you. Not including your Doctors and Nurses.

    I have my Husband, Daughter and two friends and feel blessed to have them. I have heard of people going through cancer that have only one, or even some that have nobody.

    11 Answers from the Community

    11 answers
    • gonewest's Avatar

      Hi. Let's see...husband who is a TV writer with a 40 year career, (keeps me laughing), friend who is an attorney, friend who is a nurse, friend who is a counseling psychologist, 2 friends who are police officers, and compassionate members of this WhatNext forum who, despite their own cancer, are here for me every day. Together they hold my hand, accompany me to appointments and surgeries, bake great pies (her key lime is sublime!), nurse me, take care of my animals, listen to me (this one is a candidate for sainthood), and buy me flowers for my house each week. Thanks for your question. It made me think about those who do for me regularly. Love to you.

      over 3 years ago
    • lh25's Avatar

      I have 3 main people, my husband, my mother and my best friend from high school. They are the ones I can talk to, and feel like I can be honest with how I am really feeling.

      After them, I have my co-workers, church family and other friends.

      over 3 years ago
    • Ejourneys' Avatar

      Just me, and I am a caregiver.

      That said, my partner (who has MS, with cognitive and emotional dysfunction) does the best she can to be supportive, but sometimes that backfires. For example, after my lumpectomy I spent hours in the recovery room because my blood pressure refused to climb. (They finally released me when I kept proving I could walk and talk with no problem; my BP was 79/42.) My partner, who carries salt with her, tried to force some on me to make my BP rise and kept getting more and more agitated when I kept refusing. That can make her decompensate something fierce, so I agreed to take a bit of salt -- which made my BP go DOWN even farther.

      Or the time this past weekend when our A/C was out. I took a siesta with a cold pack on my chest to get some much-needed sleep. While I was sleeping, my partner changed the cold pack (which was still cold) with a brand new one that shocked me out of a dream and left me in not the best shape for a few minutes.

      Most of the time I am seeing to her needs (both physical and psychological). She cares as best she can, but it's often the type that I can honestly do without.

      over 3 years ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      I am very fortunate that for the last 3 years, while I have been on Opdivo, I haven't needed anyone to care for me. When I was getting chemo and did need someone, my husband was the main caregiver. My mom would have been willing. I had a work friend and a neighbor who brought food.

      I have friends who were there for me when I wanted to push the envelope and try to live life - going to agility, on walks, to the Arboretum, etc. Should I have needed help more than just companionship, they would have been there.

      Now, I have a few new friends who I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt would totally be there for me should they need to be.

      I agree with the others, too, that What next has been a great place to come.

      over 3 years ago
    • andreacha's Avatar

      dollymama - I'm pretty much on my own with my renal cell carcinoma. I have one daughter who lives in town but keeps busy with her friends, particularly after 29 yrs. of a very oppressive marriage and soon to be divorced. My doctor, tests and transfusions are located in the next town which presents a problem as I no longer have a vehicle. I use the senior shuttle around town when I need something which can add up by the end of the month. I see a therapist here in town and quite frankly don't know what I'd do without her. It was she that put a message on her FB page and got a volunteer driver for me. My angel volunteer has been very supportive and now even takes me to a newly added doctor an hour from my home every two months. It can get very depressing trying to get things done when you are on your own and don't feel well. I can at least say I'm grateful for my volunteer driver. She never fails to take me to my many appointments with a great attitude and humor which I sorely need. For those of you who have support I know you realize how blessed you are.

      over 3 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Mainly, just my wife. Througj my first 2 it was only her. And through my last one I had her and her sistet helped me with a lot at work.

      over 3 years ago
    • Ellie59's Avatar

      I am incredibly grateful my loving community here are incredible .

      My spouse w is a rock. My friends are wonderful. But the humanist church I attend are amazing!

      I am fully aware of how incredibly fortunate
      I am.

      over 3 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar

      My Wife helps a little but she isn't much help. She has OCD and it drives me crazy. BUT I love her and am doing the best I can....SO basically I'm all alone. NOW I have damage to both legs from the tumor on the Sciatic nerve. Getting PT and getting stronger and CAN Still drive and get around. The Radiation has exhausted me....

      over 3 years ago
    • BHS's Avatar

      Reading some of the above comments I feel extremely blessed. If any of you remember I wrote a post last week entitled "How Do You Keep Busy" I was having a "poor me, lonely day." Well I mentioned to my friend and Pastor how I was feeling and then Sat. Morning the whole youth group showed up to sing to me and later on some members of the church came by. So sometimes you just need to let your friends know. Outside of them my three grown kids come by often. My son at least 4 times a week after work, my daughter pulled her camper from her home 40 miles away to my home and works from it 3 days a week so she can be close after my hospital stay and my other daughter stops by or calls often. Then there is my husband who does everything for me. I am not strong enough to do housework and my God who is always there. And this is my place of my own. As great as everyone is they don't know what it is like and really don't like to read and know what they need to to help me.
      Thank You all for being my friends

      over 3 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      I have 2 brothers and a nephew who live in the area. A sister and a niece who live a small distance and a brother who lives a long way. All are extremely supportive but often have serious health issues. My main support have been my children. And there is always the Nanny Cat. I might say our family is like a chair with very shaky legs. When one of the legs gets wobbly then the other's all pull together to support it. In fact when I has my second cancer, my sister-in-laws sister, was the first person to visit me when I came out of surgery. All other member were in the hospital even my sister-in-law's other sister. So I have a really strong family support system

      over 3 years ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

      I'm mostly by myself. My mom was 90 miles away and didn't do freeway driving, so she was only phone support. She died about 18 months after I finished chemo. My best friend starting pulling away shortly after my diagnosis and finally announced, via text no less, that she was DONE with me. I have a couple of friends who have shown they will stand by me, but exact for my cat (and a couple of furbabies on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge) and y'all here, I'm alone.

      over 3 years ago

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