• DDumbest things people have said to you?

    Asked by Fuxitol on Monday, October 23, 2017

    DDumbest things people have said to you?

    When are you shaving your head? You will only need radiation. Just do juicing.

    28 Answers from the Community

    28 answers
    • akwendi's Avatar

      Dumb comments...

      1. "All those hats you are wearing are cute, but they make you look like a cancer patient"
      2. The hair dresser that was styling my wig told me, "I would never do chemo; I would go to Mexico and have treatments there"

      about 1 year ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar

      Told me I look great so how is it you have cancer. They don't understand that we can look great but aren't.....It's not their fault as they don't know until THEY get cancer...

      about 1 year ago
    • Jalemans' Avatar

      People telling me how bad I looked when I was doing chemo -- describing in great detail how gaunt & pale. People complaining about my wearing scarves over my head to work.

      about 1 year ago
    • lh25's Avatar

      1.If you just ate___ or drank____ you would be cured and not have to have treatment.
      2. I would NEVER do chemo, it's poison and so hard on you.(Because untreated cancer is a picnic)
      3.Maybe you can lose some weight during chemo(Yes, I'm overweight but really!?)
      4. My aunt/cousin/buddy had cancer and died after a lot of suffering.

      Overall, I'm happy to say most of those around me were kind and considerate.

      about 1 year ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      *Hey man, I heard you died.
      *Hey, is Greg here? (I'm standing there looking at him)
      *You need to drink this stuff my Uncle started taking, guaranteed to kill cancer, it must work because he's been taking it for 6 months and doesn't have cancer yet.

      about 1 year ago
    • lh25's Avatar

      barryboomer, I have a friend who is doing a chemo that didn't make him lose his hair, and he gets comments like "you can't be that sick, you still have hair".

      about 1 year ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      The number 1 weird comment I have ever gotten was, "you know, I really don't know what I will say at your eulogy."

      And then there was, "it sure is a good thing you don't have a bad cancer like the skin cancer like D does." (Given a choice, I would take a basal cell skin lesion over stage IV lung cancer any day of the week!!!)

      And, naturally, lots and lots of people have read or heard of this or that miracle cure that I really have to try...

      And, even more have an aunt, uncle, mom, dad, best friend who died a horrible death from lung cancer...

      And, "I didn't know you smoke" is one that you hear a lot when you have lung cancer. Or, one idiot said, as he puffed away, "hey!! You already have lung cancer. Why would you not want to go ahead and smoke???"

      about 1 year ago
    • Floridagirl6's Avatar

      I was told I got colon cancer because I ate Hershey's kisses.

      about 1 year ago
    • Rhondatx's Avatar

      Don't exaggerate Breast Cancer can not kill you and hardly anyone dies from it..

      about 1 year ago
    • Rhondatx's Avatar

      Also all the natural cure all miracle cancer killers

      about 1 year ago
    • Terri's Avatar

      "I know you have cancer but you have never looked better, now you are thin "
      (I have always been heavy and then went down to a size 2) how superficial can you get. I was dying at the time but at least I was thin!!

      about 1 year ago
    • IKickedIt's Avatar

      "You'll be fine." Excuse me, who are you, God?

      about 1 year ago
    • geekling's Avatar

      "It is just a wart or a hemorrhoid. We dont remove them any more."

      This was said to my by nearly innumerable doctors when I showed them a small growth that I wanted gone.

      The growth turned out to be a tumor but I had to grow it to a stage 2, after 13 years time, to get it finally taken off, biopsied and correctly diagnosed.

      about 1 year ago
    • pati's Avatar

      I have had 8 kinds in different places. You will be fine. I am never sure. They think is no big deal to them. It hurts my feeling. You are strong. NO I AM NOT. just put in Gods hands. The pain I hope they never have it and when my kids died they never mentoned them like they were never here. They just don't understand . Have never been there and God has blessed them.

      about 1 year ago
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar

      The confessions of someone who has never been on chemo and inevitably opens mouth and inserts foot when talking to a patient on chemo inwardly dealing with the trauma of hair loss:
      1. "Many people shave their heads in support of cancer patients who lose their hair .. but I won't."
      2. "Man, I really hate my hair!"
      3. thinking they are just playing when calling the patient a hairless beast.
      Those all happened to me when I was in the throes of chemo. I tried to ignore it, but it still hurt. :(
      I wonder why it is some people seem to say dumb things like what we're reading on this page? It happens everywhere, as I get dumb comments about blind people too. HUGS and God bless.

      about 1 year ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar

      While I was in treatment, I was walking w/a coworker. She asked me why I was out the day before. I told her I'd had a chemo session. She stopped dead and just stared out me. "I didn't know you had cancer," she blurted. (I was open at work, but didn't shout it from the rooftops). I asked why she thought I was wearing all those hats and scarves... "I thought you just liked hats."

      about 1 year ago
    • lh25's Avatar

      ChildOfGod, when my hair came back really soft, a co-worker said something like "Oh, I want soft hair like that, I think I'll shave my head" I had to remind her it was more about the chemo and less the shaving...

      I think people just don't think.

      about 1 year ago
    • HeidiJo's Avatar

      " If you had to get cancer, Lymphoma was the one to get"
      " Its just Lymphoma, my brother had that its no big deal"
      " Every time I ask how you are feeling, you say that you're tired"

      about 1 year ago
    • JustForToday's Avatar

      From the clerk at the Walmart pharmacy when she saw the bandage covering my port?
      "Did we have a procedure today?"

      Me: I don't know about you, but I had a port implanted so I can start chemo in a couple days.

      Clerk: My friend has cancer and it just keeps spreading and getting worse. I don't understand why she doesn't just give up. Chemo doesn't help her and she feels terrible all the time.

      Me: Mouth open in astonishment looking for the camera recording this or at least someone else in the pharmacy that might stop it. Nothing!
      From a friend: Do they know what caused your cancer?

      Me: I don't know

      Friend: A chemist told a friend of hers that sugar feeds cancer. Another friend's daughter could not have surgery, chemo or radiation for cervical cancer. She gave up all sugar and now she is clear of all cancer. (This is a summary of a much longer discussion.)

      Me: That is something I will have to keep in mind.

      about 1 year ago
    • OldGuy's Avatar

      Oh! You have gallbladder cancer? Well, that's easy enough, just have them take it out! People have their gallbladder taken out all the time!

      about 1 year ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar

      Although those comments are fun for a chuckle, remember many people don't know what to say and are doing the best they can. I appreciate the fact that they are attempting to be kind, kind of like people don't know what to say at a funeral---the fact that they're there means they're trying.

      about 1 year ago
    • dollymama's Avatar

      Oh, that's just skin cancer, everybody has that.

      about 1 year ago
    • Fuxitol's Avatar

      Forgot one. "I know someone whose hair grew back dark and curly," bwa ha ha ha ha. Thanks for the encouragement and helping me realize how truly funny this is...because it's NOT YOU.

      about 1 year ago
    • lh25's Avatar

      BarbarainBham, I agree to a point. Sometimes it's just them being awkward, but sometimes I have to wonder why anyone would think some comments are OK. For example, how does telling me as a cancer patient about someone they knew or even knew about dying from cancer help at all?

      I was 18 when my dad died, and even years later a comment a cousin made sticks with me. She said "I have no idea what you are feeling, but if you need to talk call me"

      about 1 year ago
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar

      I've had someone tell me "Don't let the cancer come back," as if [God forbid] it did, I would have brought it on myself. That one really scared me to bits, especially since someone else told me returning to active treatment would be far more aggressive than the first time around. I've also been told I got breast cancer because I never had a baby. HUGS and God bless.

      about 1 year ago
    • gpgirl70's Avatar

      "My daughter had the same cancer as you and she just died last year."

      "I would never do chemo."

      "Doesn't it bother you not to have breasts?"

      "My friend cured her cancer with [insert alternative treatment]. - marijuana, juicing, vitamin c infusions...

      I just move on from these comments. I know that people have a hard time knowing what to say and sometimes words just come out. I'm sure most of the folks who have made dumb comments to me later felt bad or embarrassed. I haven't always been eloquent when talking with friends and acquaintances about serious health issues they've faced.

      about 1 year ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      I think the dumbest thing I have said to me was when a woman at the Y inquired about my scar on my neck. I said I had an esophagectomy. She then asked where I went for "the cure" when I started to tell her about the surgery. She said no I mean did you go to AA or did you go to a rehab facility" I really hate it when people assume that in order for a woman to get esophageal cancer they must be a chain-smoking alcoholic. She was not the only person who has intimated this.

      about 1 year ago
    • cllinda's Avatar

      You look great! Really? I have lost lots of weight, no hair, pale skin and feel like crap.

      Someone said that her aunt had breast cancer and died, but you will get through it. Really?

      The best one was from my mom, who didn't see me during my battle because she lives far away. My daughter got married, and she came to the wedding. My hair was about half an inch long, but I was happy I had hair for the wedding. Mom looks at me later and said that I must have looked horrible without hair. Gee, Mom! Thanks!

      about 1 year ago

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