Dealing with family issues can be difficult, even in the best of circumstances. Add in illness and hard decisions, things can get complicated pretty quickly.
I am hopeful that some other people on WhatNext going through similar circumstances will weigh in soon. In the meantime, it might be helpful to talk to the social worker or patient advocate at the hospital, and perhaps they can become the driving force to getting these decisions made.
Please keep us posted.
Stay strong - your mother-in-law seems very lucky to have you on her side.