• Did you get scared? Did the doctors seem to not give you any information? and seem to not have time or not want to talk

    Asked by Glenda on Monday, November 28, 2011

    Did you get scared? Did the doctors seem to not give you any information? and seem to not have time or not want to talk

    spouse is acting really strange after second treatment, not the same as the first at all. Last doctors visit the we only seen dr. maybe ten min. at most. gave us no information of what to expect and we r too dumb to know what to ask.

    15 Answers from the Community

    15 answers
    • mspinkladybug's Avatar


      almost 5 years ago
    • CarolLHRN's Avatar

      Navigating through all the doctors appointments and information is overwhelming to say the least. I always write down questions before I go to my appointment and have the list out during the appointment. I also try to always bring someone else to take notes and ask things I might think of. Finally, I got to know the nurses really well. They are an excellent source of information and seem to be able to explain things better than the doctors and have more time to spend with you.

      almost 5 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I have had sorry dr.s over the past 23 years, and great dr.s. I know now after being treated 3 different times for cancer and going to countless procedures and apts. ask the questions you want, I don't care if they are acting like they are in a hurry or not. The most important patient they have that day....is YOU. I make it a point to get my questions answered to my satisfaction. If the Dr. gets up and starts to walk out, just say, excuse me, I'm not quite done yet, I have a few more questions. They will sit right down and answer. Let them know you are going to be involved in your treatment. Once they know this, they will not be in a rush with you and they will know what to expect from you too.

      Good luck with the treatments!

      almost 5 years ago
    • Janice's Avatar

      I have a great doctor, but these people are soo busy. I write down my questions and hand them to him. He then gives me answers. We cut down on the time of me trying to remember them and asking them - just get good answers. You have to let him know you want to be involved. Some people don't want much info, so the doctor doesn't know how much info to give unless you ask.

      almost 5 years ago
    • justbreathe's Avatar

      Hi... I highly encourage you to seek out another doctor! Carol is right.
      Get questions together and have someone with you that will take notes. You can get some information off of the computor, if you know what type of cancer that you have. The right doctor should want to help you through this process.
      You are in charge, it is your body and you should feel like you have some understanding about what is going on!
      I am here if you need me. [email redacted]

      almost 5 years ago
    • mybirch's Avatar

      I agree here! Your dr may be great, but often they are so rushed that unless you ADVOCATE for yourself, let them know you have questions that need answering, and you are PAYING them to be YOUR Dr., they will rush off. One thing I have learned is that sometimes as a patient, fear and feeling powerless makes it difficult to advocate for yourself, so if you have a spouse, friend, sibling or really anyone you trust to stand up and advocate FOR you when you dont feel well enough is important. Also letting your Dr. know you want to be involved, IE: ask what foods you should/shouldnt be eating, ask if there are supplements that may help you...or seek out supplements and things that may help and ASK your Dr. if they are correct. Often Dr.s have patients that are ill informed, and dont know what to do or even ask to help themselves...so it's important to show that you are the person that owns your body and you want to do whats best for it. I hope you are well and this helps some.

      almost 5 years ago
    • SunnyCloud's Avatar

      I myself didnt ask many questions because I read all the literature they gave me & info on the internet. It is true what they said above, because I didnt ask questions, the doctor didnt give much info. My mother asked him questions & he told her that I never asked questions. :)

      almost 5 years ago
    • RebeccaLynn25's Avatar

      I would definitely look into getting a new Dr! Find someone who is empathetic and understanding. You're definitely not stupid!! How are you supposed to know anything about cancer?!
      When I was diagnosed, it was completely unexpected! I was about to turn 30 and cancer doesn't run in my family. And yes I was scared, but I knew I was going to be ok. So I stay positive, take day by day and that's what I focus on. They told me all these things about the treatment, which I didn't understand. All these worst case scenarios! I told her, I wanted her to focus on getting rid of the cancer and I'd work on me. I personally didn't want to know much about my cancer because I didn't want someone else's experience to affect me in any negative way. On my good days, I don't even feel like I have an illness as serious as cancer.
      There's information on the internet and I'm reading a book called 'After Cancer Treatment,' by Julie Silver where she talks about how there are certain "triggers" that bring on cancer. It also talks about building your immune system and some alternative healing such as mediation. I just started reading it and so far it's interesting.
      Hope this helped!

      almost 5 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar

      The advice regarding writing down questions is GREAT!
      I always do this.
      In fact, I have a google doc that I simply update everytime I think of a question. If you have access to the internet or a laptop computer, consider doing something similar. If you have a notebook that you keep, consider keeping your running list of questions there.
      Doesn't matter how....
      I find that questions not written down do not get asked... Why? Because actually at the appointment, there are numerous things going on. They take your vitals, they talk about test results, they talk about planned treatments... etc... It can be so overwhelming.
      But, at the end, I always say, just a second please. I want to be sure we covered all of my questions. Then, I look at my list.. and ask the unasked questions.

      Another thing to consider - if you two are having trouble keeping track of everything during each apppointment, consider taking a friend. That person will be less emotional and scared... and will probably be able to help you take careful notes and help you make sure all your listed questions get asked.

      I hope this helps.
      It is scary. IT'S SO SCARY!!!!
      It does help to talk to other people with similar diagnoses....


      almost 5 years ago
    • Indyeastside's Avatar

      No you are not dumb, just new to this. You will have to become more assertive and demand time for discussion. If you feel you need to see the doctor-insist time with him or her.

      I went through a year or so of treatment-seeing the physician assistant-routine chemo-when I needed more doc time I wrote my list down in advance and would not leave without seeing my doctor.

      Yea, I'm always scared of a return-but don't let it consume me. Scared is good-got to respect the illness-and keep ahead of it-study a lot and talk to others--you are at the right spot for some guidance-hang in there.

      I think chemo does tend to be accumulative-more treatments more affects--this will pass with time.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Beverly's Avatar

      I agree with the comments - write down your questions. The Doctor's are busy but they need to spend the time with you to answer your questions also. Sometimes I think that the docs don't realize how they can put us off when they act hurried or use the medical terminology.
      If things don't improve, I would look at finding another doctor. Cancer is scary enough without feeling like your doctor is too busy or too detached.
      There probably are brochures, booklets and other information in their office that can answer your questions.
      The internet can be valuable but just remember not everything that you read on the internet is a fact.
      Check out the American Cancer Society (cancer.org ) it is loaded with information.

      almost 5 years ago
    • hikerchick's Avatar

      I had to go to the medical records office and sign for copies of my medical records several times in order to get ALL the info. Some of the text was jargon and I had to look definitions up online or take it to a doctor friend to interpret. But I could never have made an informed decision without these. The pathology report from my lumpectomies gave me facts. The nurse practitioner gave me portions of the report she considered significant. She felt I only needed to know the stage of the worst tumor. She totally omitted the fact that there were 2 tumors and extensive DCIS that can progress into more tumors.

      almost 5 years ago
    • collinsb01's Avatar

      All great answers. You are definitely not dumb. The Docs are always on a schedule of about 10 mins per patient, but if you requier more time, you should by all means take it. Always ask the Doc or their nurse to provide you with a data sheet for every new chemo med that is used. This will give you a start. Anything that you think of later, write it down and call the Doc's office or ask at the next visit. No question is a dumb question. God bless you both.

      almost 5 years ago
    • joyce508's Avatar

      I had a lot of problems with doctors the ear nose and throat doctor as well as the doctor that cut me open and found the cancer had me going back and forth for months before they sent me to a cancer doctor that they sent me to but buy the time I said enough of the games I went and chose my own doctor I was broke from the $45 copay several times a week and I lost my job because of all the time I was off.The good think I did do was to keep a note book and wrote down what happened at each appointment I found they were also charging my insurance for thinks not done,I also took photo of what I looked like every now and then showing just how much i would swell and what they did to treat me it turns out they had me on so many steroids It was making cancer cells go haywire but because the doctor I now see knew what other doctors did he was able to treat me better.I didn't do this to cause problems or sue I just wanted to get on with my life.It is hard till you find the right doctor you can call your cancer society and ask bout doctors they gave me help with a lot of things good luck and don't give up it's our fight

      almost 5 years ago
    • shauna0915's Avatar

      I suggest, like others, writing your questions down and taking someone with you to your appointments so you get all of your questions answered. Do not be afraid to remind the doctor that you are a CUSTOMER and he/she is providing a service for which you pay. One of my specialists reminded me of that once. If you aren't getting the service you expect either address the issue with your doctor or find a new doctor. You do not need to be made to feel stupid or left feeling like your questions have not been answered.

      Think of it like this... if you went out to dinner and your order came out totally wrong, would you accept it or send it back? It's basically the same concept. If your doctor isn't providing adequate service, you need to bring it to their attention. If necessary, remind them of their own patients Bill of Rights.

      almost 5 years ago

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