• Did you tell your little children about your diagnoses?

    Asked by sgmom on Wednesday, January 23, 2013

    Did you tell your little children about your diagnoses?

    I have an almost 6m old and another one who is about to turn 5. I was just diagnosed yesterday and I'm going through all of the fear and anxiety that all of you have experienced. :( Dis you tell your little one about it and if so, how?

    11 Answers from the Community

    11 answers
    • gwendolyn's Avatar

      My children are older than yours but I told them everything (in simple terms) at every step of the way, with an emphasis on me getting better and the day-to-day practical concerns like when I'd be in the hospital, etc. Even a very young child will pick up on your "vibes" and draw his/her own conclusions about what's wrong. Be honest from the start and encourage them to ask questions, now and in the future.

      about 8 years ago
    • SMT4's Avatar

      This book is a great tool for telling children and keeping it age appropriate. I think what helps is tell them in a way they can relate to and let them feel comfortable to ask you any questions they may have. Kids are really good about being aware of what is happening and being honest to their level of knowledge of what is happening. Keeping an open forum can make the process less stressful for both parent and child.

      Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer By Ellen McVicker

      about 8 years ago
    • RachaelC@StF's Avatar
      RachaelC@StF Community Outreach Coordinator 317-528-7794

      Hi sgmom,
      My thoughts and prayers are being sent your way during this tough time. Someone on WhatNext recently asked a question similar to yours and several people weighed in with great responses. If you check out the link below, it should take you right to the question so you can read those responses along with the ones people post to your question. Hopefully you find a gentle way of letting your babies know what's going on with mommy. Keep us posted if you need anything!


      about 8 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar

      My youngest was 7 going on 8 and yes, I told her......Just tell you 5 years old as much as he/she can handle.....tell him/her that you have an ouchie in you that the doctors need to take out...if you have chemo, tell them you have to take some medicine to get better, but sometimes the medicine will make you sick...Oh...I just read the other posts....The book Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings was one of the books....the author lives here in Denver....it is a wonderful book....Another book is The Year My MOther was Bald....I read that with my daughter......All the best to you....

      about 8 years ago
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar

      My daughter was 8 at the time of my diagnosis and we sat her down one day and expalined to her everything that was going on. In this situation we found that it's best to be completely honest. If for no other reason, so YOU can help your child through your illness. I would wait until you know more. No sense talking about it now if you don't have a lot of answers. Once we found out my course of treatment, we read her a story called "Kemo Shark". The link below will take you right it. All you have to do it print it. I hope this helps you as it helped us!!!


      about 8 years ago
    • cris' Avatar

      My grandson is 5 years old so my daughter went to his pediatrician & asked her how to explain it. My grandson asked me if my boo boo hurts & he tells people my nonna has chemo instead of cancer. That brings a smile to my face because for alittle guy that's how he took it. when he draws pictures in school of his family, he draws me bald also. He is what get's me through the day...best of luck to you..

      about 8 years ago
    • HeidiJo's Avatar

      My children were 8 & 15 years old when I was diagnosed. We told the 15 year old right away because we didnt want to insult his intelligence, he would know something was going on. We didn't tell my 8 year old until I had been to the oncologist and could give her more info. I would tell them the basics, all my 8 year old wanted to know was that the doctor was going to make me better. My 15 year old had more concerns and questions so we did our best to answer them.

      about 8 years ago
    • sgmom's Avatar

      Thanks to EVERYONE for the feedback (and for disregarding my 2a iPhone typo in the original question). I meet with the specialist tomorrow and will hopefully get more answers on the initial pathology report of the first biopsy.

      about 8 years ago
    • SueRae1's Avatar

      My daughter was 51/2 when I was diagnosed with stage 1 kidney cancer. I told her that the doctor's had found a "boo boo" inside, and that I would be in the hospital for a few days, because they had to remove it and make sure I was ok before I could go home. She asked where it was, I told her the Kidney. We then discussed what the kidney did, etc. Before I told her, I called her school to let them know what was going on and to prepare them in case she acted out, etc.
      I was lucky that all I need was surgery so there was nothing else I need to tell her. When she was 10 or so she asked "was it cancer' and I said "yes".

      about 8 years ago
    • TinaJacques' Avatar

      My kids were 18 months and 3.5 when I was diagnosed and they are 2 and 4 now. I didnt tell them "I was diagnosed". My oldest did figure out I was sick, and trust me, your 5 year old will too, but she has no idea what cancer is and I kept it that way. There will come a time when all that will become clear but that just isn't necessary right now. I spent some time in the hospital and my kids would visit there so those things kinda became part of their vocabulary, you know. "mommy's sick", "mommy's at the hospital" "mommy's getting medicine", but it was never more than that. I also stopped working and I would hear things like "I'm glad you are at home now, mommy" and "mommy your head is soft". They also spent a lot of time with my mom whom they are CRAZY about so I think that all in all the experience wasn't a terrible one for them, and I am so grateful for that. Since we have kids of similar ages, feel free to PM me and I can send you my personal email address if you want to keep in touch. xox

      about 8 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar

      My kids were 10, 13 and 14 when I was diagnosed. At this age they understood everything that was going on. Once I knew all the details of stage and treatment plan, I got the family together and I explained reason for surgery, and my treatment plan to kill cancer cells. I also explained the common possible side effects I might or might not experience. I told them I would have some tough days because of the effects of treatment. I wanted to make sure they understood clearly because I didn't want them thinking that me feeling bad or seeing changes in me meant the cancer was taking over. I have not talked about prognosis, years expected with them because it is "unknown". I'm hoping for the best and if a need to talk about it comes up, then I will. Your kids are younger so there might not be a need for so much detail other than mommy being sick and getting treatment. You know your kids so just tell them what you feel they need to know. I wouldn't suggest talking prognosis or anything like that unless it is completely necessary. Completely necessary for me would be on my way out. Hang in there. It will be ok. Sending hugs your way.

      about 8 years ago

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