• Yew's Avatar

    Divorce after Cancer, I'm the one who left

    Asked by Yew on Monday, March 4, 2019

    Divorce after Cancer, I'm the one who left

    After five years of dating, I married a nice man one month before my cancer diagnosis. We each had our own home and postponed moving in together and saw each other mostly on the weekends during my 12 mos. of treatment/recovery. He wasn't very helpful. I couldn't take him to treatment with me because he was so uptight and he would criticize my questions to the oncologist. I rationalized it to be his stress due to my cancer. After we moved in together his anxiety heightened. After six months I had to admit that I was suffering from his emotional abuse and I left. I was no longer the healthy career woman he had married and my weakness brought out his deep emotional challenges. To his credit he is seeking therapy now, but he blames me for abandoning him and has tried many tactics - positive and negative - to get me back. I feel I can't protect myself from another recurrence with him in my life. Please share your experience, insights to help me separate emotionally from him and move on.

    2 Answers from the Community

    • AlexisJ's Avatar
      AlexisJ

      I feel this sweetie!! My husband became distant after my cancer diagnosis. I always worked and was very active. Cancer took that all away from me. I thought we were going to divorce. Somehow we made it through, but many couples do not. Cancer changes people and their spouses do not know how to respond. I hope the best for you!!!

      over 2 years ago
    • Turner's Avatar
      Turner

      I thank you for sharing- I’m in a going on a 10 year relationship with a man I am supposed to marry in 2020 but a week after my 1st round of Chemo something happened and we had 3 weeks of I am not sure what but I think he was trying
      not to show any emotions because he thought that would help me be stronger- he was wrong because I felt he just didn’t care....I feel that sometimes it harder on the family than the ones diagnosed! You have to have emotional support to get you through- stay strong and my prayers are with you!

      over 2 years ago

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