• Do you ever regret the way you lived your life before cancer?

    Asked by Bonecrusher on Sunday, August 6, 2017

    Do you ever regret the way you lived your life before cancer?

    Sometimes I wonder if there was something that I did that may have caused my cancer, even without me knowing it. Sometimes it drives me crazy and it eats at me inside.

    13 Answers from the Community

    13 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Bonecrusher, you are not to blame for your cancer. No one deserves cancer. Some people get it; others don't (though 50% of us WILL get some kind of cancer over our lifetimes).

      I have lung cancer. I had quit smoking by the time I was diagnosed, but I smoked (a lot) for years. Would I have cancer today if I hadn't smoked? No one can say. Non-smokers get the same cancer as I have. My dad died of the same stuff at age 49. So, was it genetic ... that I helped by smoking ... or would I have gotten it anyway??? No one can say because no one knows.

      There are lots of theories out there. But, I know plenty of people who smoke like fiends who don't have lung cancer. I know some who smoked while being treated for lung cancer who are cancer free today.

      I know WAY too many who have lung cancer who never smoked a cigarette. They weren't raised by smokers. They didn't live in mold. They weren't downwind. They ate healthy. But, they got lung cancer. Most of them are young. There is no reason for them to have lung cancer except they are very unlucky. Their bodies, for whatever reasons, couldn't fight the mutating cells.

      Don't let guilt eat at you. I don't even have any clue what lifestyle could be blamed for bone cancer ... but even if there is something, I guarantee you that you can point to dozens (hundreds, millions) more people with the same or worse lifestyle that DO NOT have bone cancer.

      Spend your efforts getting well, not blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault.

      almost 5 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      I tend to doubt there is much you did personally to contribute to your fate.

      Society, as a whole, seems to be under the thumb of larger and controlling interests.

      We eat crappy food, our water needs filtering, the soil has been bled of life giving materials, the air is polluted, we are (mostly) tied to a sedentary position to earn a living and we reach for cell phones intead of each other.

      At least one of the members here was a "down winder" meaning in the path of poisonous air from the US atom bomb testing in Nevada. I was mistreated by the largest insurer in the world (Liberty Mutual) so that it could save $500 by misdirecting me, in writing and 3 separate times, as to how to prevent mold growth after storm damage to our then home.

      The chemicals added to growing food, to canned food, to packaged food are often carcinogens. Let us not forget Erin Brocovitch (SP?) in speaking of polluted waters and so many more polluting companies (blech to Monsanto, Nestles and others) unbounded by dint of law or punishment.

      You have to breathe. You have to drink. You have to eat.

      If cancer is "our fault" than we are gullible in trusting those using corporate shields to protect themselves from reprisal for their evil deeds.

      Your job is to get well first. Choose your sustenance more carefully. Watch your cell phone use. Survive. Once that is accomplished, you can choose to become an advocate for independence from corporate rule.

      Best wishes

      almost 5 years ago
    • Jalemans' Avatar
      Jalemans

      I try not to dwell on regrets, but if I had to say, I think there were too many times when I could have been kinder than I was to others. To blame for my cancers... maybe, but I didn't intentionally do things so I would get cancer.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Julianna's Avatar
      Julianna

      I thought it may have had something to do with where I worked. I asked my Doctor about it and he just said, "if we knew what caused it, we could prevent it". So, I think the answer is, in general, there are things that are known to lead to cancer, but not always, and, you don't have to those things to get it either.

      almost 5 years ago
    • SandiA's Avatar
      SandiA

      Having melanoma of course I have had thoughts about whether I used enough sun screen or reapplied enough etc. But I don't blame myself. There are numerous family members with cancer, mother, brother, cousins, nephew so I know it runs in my family. I did the best I could. I was also one of five people at work all diagnosed within a year of each other so that makes you wonder too. But I can't blame myself or anyone else. If I have any regrets it is all about the time I wasted. Feeling like my job or pleasing everyone was so important. So I try and enjoy every moment now and my priorities are so much different. Like time with family is one of my top priorities. I know it's easier said than done, but don't blame yourself. Wishing you all the best...

      almost 5 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      No, I have no regrets on how I lived my life concerning my health. I went in for yearly exams, physical, dental, mammograms and Pap smears for over forty years and cancer still snuck up and surprised me.

      almost 5 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      I have many regrets about how I lived my life before cancer. Only one regret is related to cancer. I regret I lived my whole life in fear of cancer and did not learn more about it and prepare myself better for it. It actually turned out that having cancer is not as bad as I imagined.

      almost 5 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      No, I never feel guilty at all, because it does no good. Health problems are a normal part of life and aging. Cancer is just the one we got, so we get treated and move on. We have to get it together because something else in life is coming around the corner---maybe a grandbaby or other surprise.

      Bonecrusher, since you say it "eats at you inside," I would recommend you ask your doctor to refer you to a counselor with experience with cancer patients. There may be somebody in your doctor's office who can help you feel better. Best wishes.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Lynne-I-Am's Avatar
      Lynne-I-Am

      Yes, Boise B. me too. I lived in fear of getting cancer and thought about it periodically throughout my life. Cancer was like the Boogyman, hiding and just waiting to get you. In the end , there is very little rhyme or reason for many cancers, at least as it stands today. Dwelling on the could have been or the might have been keeps us from dealing with the here's and news, and moving forward.

      almost 5 years ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      Lynne, I was exposed to high levels of radiation when I was a child. From the time I was in high school, I watched classmates and neighbors die of cancer. Many have also survived multiple cancers. That was why cancer was my reoccurring nightmare.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Marinace's Avatar
      Marinace

      I have no regrets. I have lived a life of giving and sharing, and believe that is what has kept me happy and calm. My life was amazing before Cancer and has continued to be amazing as I meet new people who are filled with hope.

      almost 5 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Bonecrusher, I encourage to talk to your Primary Care Physician as soon as you can. You could be suffering from depression, so your PCP would want to know and probably prescribe medicine and a counselor. Many cancer patients on estrogen reducing medicine have that problem, so don't be uncomfortable about it. Wishing you the best.

      almost 5 years ago
    • IKickedIt's Avatar
      IKickedIt

      Nope, and all my doctors have told me that it was simply bad luck. Being adopted, I have no medical history, so I had genetic testing done and everything came back negative (when being negative is a good thing!).

      The only thing I still wonder about is whether I had symptoms that I just didn't notice sooner.

      And as so many others have said, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to why some people get cancer while others do not even if they have the same genetic make-up or history of a particular habit or exposure.

      And finally, what's done is done. We can't dwell on the past...it won't change anything. Use that energy to look forward, how you're going to continue to fight and inspire others with your positivity and tenacity.

      almost 5 years ago

    Help the community by answering this question:

    Create an account to post your answer Already have an account? Sign in!

    By using WhatNext, you agree to our User Agreement, and Privacy Policy


    Read and answer more bone cancer questions.  Also, don't forget to check out our Bone Cancer page.