• Do you have relatives that you've lost to cancer?

    Asked by buckhunter on Thursday, October 18, 2018

    Do you have relatives that you've lost to cancer?

    Do you ever feel "survivor's guilt"? I am pretty good most of the time, but every now and then I get to feeling like it wasn't fair.

    14 Answers from the Community

    14 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      I have lost a lot of relatives to cancer, but they all died before i was diagnosed. Nevertheless, when I see young people who have their whole lives ahead of them or parents with young kids or my friend who was the caretaker of his autistic son succumb, i feel guilty that I am still kicking. Not that we can trade places, but it does make me ask "Why me? Why do I keep living?". Once i get past that, i resolve to work that much harder to raise funds and bring awareness on behalf of those who no longer can.

      6 months ago
    • po18guy's Avatar

      Good grief yes. Dad and two of his sisters (my aunts). One unknown cancer, one aggressive leukemia and one throat/lung cancer. Oddly enough, this prepared me for my own diagnosis almost 30 years later. So, since I expected to hear the diagnosis at some point, I was not freaked out. Two relapses and three cancers later, I'm still chugging along.

      6 months ago
    • Carool's Avatar

      Yes. My mother died at 67 of pancreatic cancer (19 years before my breast cancer diagnosis). My uncle, lung cancer, 18 years prior to my dx. Very small family, so no others (I have only my brother; an uncle; and three cousins still alive). One cousin (half-cousin, really) had Inflammatory Breast Cancer six or so years ago - maybe longer - and from what I know, she's okay.

      6 months ago
    • Skyemberr's Avatar

      I lost both of my grandparents to cancer before I was four. I didn't have survivor's guilt because I was too young, but as I've gotten older I've seen howlosing my grandparents to cancer shattered their kids. Our family is still recovering from that emotionally.
      Now two of their kids have had colorectal cancer, and I have it, so we can see that it is in the family tree. It doesn't make it any less shattering to my mom and aunt and uncle though.
      Seeing my kids grow up with living and healthy grandparents I can certainly see how much different my life and everyone else's in the family would be if they hadn't died.

      6 months ago
    • cllinda's Avatar

      My dad died 10 years ago at age 72 from pancreatic cancer. It was found in December and he died in August. My brother died last year of lung cancer. Do I feel guilty I'm still here? No. I feel lucky that I get to be here for my kids and my granddaughters.

      6 months ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Both Parents shortly after I was recovering from my last diagnosis treatment. They didn't have much of a chance to even try to fight. Both were diagnosed with metastatic cancer. I sat and looked at them laying in bed withering away and thought why have I had 3 chances and they didn't?

      6 months ago
    • JaneA's Avatar

      I haven't lost any relatives, but it always hurt to see my Facebook friends who are battling colorectal cancer die - they are usually younger than me. But the specifics of each of our cancer's is unique to us - mutations or no mutations, any other health problems, and how we tolerate treatment. So I mourn them and keep on raising awareness and writing so that one day, we will have the Cancer Answer.

      6 months ago
    • lh25's Avatar

      I have lost relatives to cancer, but that was before I was diagnosed. I have lost two friends to it after my diagnosis, and a co-worker of my husband's is currently fighting but it's not looking good.

      I can't say I feel survivor's guilt, but I do think about how different cancers affect us all differently.

      6 months ago
    • BoiseB's Avatar

      I have lost a cousin to brain cancer. He was diagnosed the same time as I was diagnosed with my second cancer. He was supposed to be cured and I was supposed to be dead. He died 2 years after he had been NED. His cancer came back. He also was a downwinder. Because he died a week prior to my 2 year cancer survivor anniversary, I did not post on FB because I didn't hurt my cousin. He was very close to his sister. That time was probably my worst case of survivor guilt I have ever has. But I feel survivor guilt when anyone I know dies of cancer. But I also felt that way before I was diagnosed

      6 months ago
    • SandiA's Avatar

      Yes I do. I have lost several family members to cancer. My brother was diagnosed shortly before I was and he was given great odds and I was told maybe three years. He passed away about a year and a half ago in his sleep due to complications with his treatment meds. That was really hard because I am beating the odds and he didn’t. I also have a brother in law fighting his own battle and it’s hard watching him because I know how he feels and I wish he didn’t have to go through this.

      6 months ago
    • banditwalker's Avatar

      I have survivors guilt for a friend who died of cancer, not a relative. A couple my husband and I use to hang with occasionally. She passed and he has not spoken to me since. That's the only thing I can think of is he is mad cause I survived and she didn't. I've never approached him about it, just figure it is his problem.

      6 months ago
    • PatriSolo's Avatar

      Crazy thing is that my Dad’s Mother had 8 children, one died at age 7 when he went into the house during bug bombing, 5 of the other 7 died before my Grandma did. All of the 5 died of GI cancers (stomach and colon). I was diagnosed at age 49 with esophageal and I have a cousin in his 50s who is in hospice for stomach cancer. Very scary.

      6 months ago
    • Jalemans' Avatar

      Oh yes. Lost both my parents, mother when I was 10 (she was 43) & dad when he was 53 (I was 19). Maternal Grandmother before I was born. Maternal aunts. All 3 of my blood sisters, who are still alive, dxed with breast cancer also. We were told it is most likely a genetic syndrome that hasn’t yet been identified — especially due to my LMS.

      6 months ago
    • schweetieangel's Avatar

      Too many family members to mention. Dad/granfayher./grandmother/ aunts/ uncles...friends all didn't have time to do treatments or declined to.
      I lost a co worker when I was diagnosed and had survivors guilt then. And most recently when a friend from a cancer support group lost her battle. As she has a loving husband. I'm single no kids..and wonder why me a lot.

      6 months ago

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