• Does anyone else feel lost now that they're not doing chemo or seeing ONC all the time? Or is it just me?

    Asked by minowfl on Friday, July 13, 2012

    Does anyone else feel lost now that they're not doing chemo or seeing ONC all the time? Or is it just me?

    If so, how are you handling it?

    7 Answers from the Community

    7 answers
    • joyce's Avatar

      My husband just finished chemo Friday, so it is early to tell if we will experience that, but from what i've heard, it's very common to feel lost and alone when you complete your treatment. You have had an ongoing support team of doctors and nurses who have been there for you through the entire ordeal. Then, all of a sudden, you don't have that regular support. Additionally, you have spent months working to fight the cancer and achieve this goal of completion. Achieving that goal is great, but there's also the worry that you aren't doing anything active to fight the cancer any more.

      I also thnk that there can be a sense of loss after achieving any major lifetime goal. You spend all this time focusing on it and then don't quite know what to do with yourself when it's over.

      I suspect that it will be a matter of time for you to adjust to life without treatment and to find your new normal. I'll be interested to see how things progress for you from here since my husband and I will be right behind you. Congratulations on completing your treatment!

      over 4 years ago
    • leepenn's Avatar

      oh yes - i hear you on this one! it's a huge milestone, but... oh man, this is going to sound cheesy... but WHAT NEXT? while doing chemo, i felt like i was DOING something to deal with the cancer. then SURGERY - same thing - DOING something to deal with the cancer.

      now - what? what am i doing to deal with this cancer? going to exam appointments with the docs is only going to help find something if something develops....

      and, i actually miss the chemo nurses. well, i found a solution to that. i go to my friend's infusion appointments! this makes me feel like i'm doing something good for a friend... and i get to see the chemo nurses! they give me such huge smiles and sometimes hugs. it's been a nice boost in that regard.

      so, what am i doing? i've restarted my training for bike racing. i continue to keep a fairly strict vegan diet (i allow a bit of eggs but absolutely no dairy). i eat cruciferous veggies nearly every day. i make sure i don't sit for long periods of time at work (i.e., i get up and move at least once every 30-40 minutes). and so on....

      also, i have been struggling with the uncertainty piece. that background noise in my brain that wonders if i will suffer a recurrence. it never seems to go away, but i have mostly been able to keep it in the back of my mind.

      recently, i attended an "intro" event at our local cancer support center - called Pathways here in minneapolis. after seeing what they have on offer, i have decided to take advantage of their services. in fact, i have a massage scheduled already this week! i can't wait. the services i've selected so far are aimed at reducing my stress levels... and improving my overall "balance" if you will.

      so, that's what i've got. i think it's really common to struggle with this. treatment ends... and we miss the people we saw so frequently... and we worry that inaction will lead to new disease or progression or whatever...

      i've decided to focus on what i CAN control.... and i ride my bikes a TON! i love all my bikes - honest - i do! they get jealous of each other if i ride one loads more than another. right now, the winter rig is sad.....

      so, is there some activity you LOVE that can help you feel like you are taking positive action with regard to your overall health?

      good luck!

      over 4 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar

      Actually I don't and never have. I think that may be because I tried to keep doing as much as I could during active treatment, so I'm finding it a relief that so much of my time is no longer filled with medical appointments and side effects. Another reason is that I have a "project management" mentality, which is actually what I did professionally for most of my working life. I always have a way bigger list of projects that I want to do than I have time, so whenever one project is done, there are 10 more waiting in the wings to take its place.

      One thing you might consider to fill your particular void is to volunteer at the chemo center where you were treated. Several of the former patients at mine still come periodically to visit and support current patients, provide snacks and treats, play games or just talk with them to pass the time, help them with other things like transportation, paper work etc. when they don't have family members to do these things, etc.

      over 4 years ago
    • mysecondchance's Avatar

      I felt that way when I finished treatment in November 2010. During treatment I felt cradled and cared for. I was urged to call anytime something didn't feel right. Suddenly I felt like I was tossed out of the nest. Fortunately that feeling didn't last long. I began to feel healthier and was soon glad I didn't need the constant supervision.

      Unfortunately I have had a recurrence so it is back into the nest. But I am not having chemo at this time so I should still be feeling okay. I have felt great for almost two years.

      over 4 years ago
    • grnygole's Avatar

      I think just about everyone feels lost after treatment ends, especially not having the caring support you were receiving during treatment. If you can find a survivor support group to help you in your transition, that might be the best answer, but joining a church community or some other group centered around one of your interests will help keep you busy and distract you from worry and fear. Another option is to volunteer to help out somewhere, like a soup kitchen. You may feel odd for awhile, but just getting out and into things will help you to eventually get back into a more normal routine. XXX luck to you.

      over 4 years ago
    • Beaner54's Avatar

      I finished chemo and radiation. My next appt isn't until late Aug and I find myself already missing the treatment team. It does feel like leaving the nest yet who would truly want to return? I struggle to stay positive and adjust to my "new life" as it presents itself. Best wishes to you.

      over 4 years ago
    • Ron's Avatar

      Yes i do! Wish I was working! Living with wife. With bad depression she sits and watchs TV all day! Boring, I do all cleaning and it angers me but not much help to you!

      about 4 years ago

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