• Don't Really Need Caregiver

    Asked by grandmajean5 on Wednesday, February 27, 2013

    Don't Really Need Caregiver

    My sister insisted on coming out here to help me through my treatments. I told her since I didn't need chemo, I would be fine going through radiation without her having to come out but she insisted. It has been wonderful having her here but I am almost finished with radiation and I need to find a nice way to tell her it's time to make her plane reservations. I have 14 treatments left and I just want to get my life back, which I can't do with her here. I have tolerated radiation very well so how can I tell her nicely that she needs to go home when I'm done. I have my husband and two daughters here if I need help.

    6 Answers from the Community

    6 answers
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      Hi GrandmaJean, first I hope your appreciative of the fact that a lot of people don't have anyone to help them, go to treatments or help with anything, and they might have family around, but they just don't help! That's sad. But I do understand, I have this little "tic" inside me, that when I want to be alone, I want to be alone! Telling her could get tricky, when you decide to do it, please take it easy, be thankful for all her help, and maybe use yourself as the excuse that she needs to go now because your "feeling guilty" for taking all her time, etc. I'm sure she us just worried about her sissy and wants to help. I had family that just about smothered me, I had to ask them to not love me to death.

      I'm happy you have such loving and caring family! Go get the rest of those treatments and finish off that cancer! Let us know if you need help with anything around the site.

      over 3 years ago
    • Russ' Avatar

      GrandmaJean, That's a tough one without sounding ungrateful. After you tell her how much you appreciate her being there such as: "I really appreciate all that you have done, and I'll be finished with treatments in just 2 weeks." Go on to tell her..."you should probably start making flight arrangements to get a cheaper airfare if you book it 2 weeks in advance. Don't worry about me now because I have my husband and children to help out after you leave."

      I hope it works out okay GrandmaJean...let us know.
      Best regards,

      over 3 years ago
    • Queen_Tatiana's Avatar

      This one can be tricky. So many people would give anything to have the support you have through their cancer journey, but I also appreciate your needing your space. Begin talking in slow doses about how appreciative you are for her sacrifice and her love in coming to care for you, and how important it is that you both begin to think about this special time coming to an end and perhaps looking at return flights. Any flight you choose will need at least one week or even two in advance in to get a good rate, so looking and buying the ticket soon will give you all an end date. Pwrhaps your sister is having the same feelings you are and just doesn't know how to bring the topic up. However you decide to talk to her please let her know how much her time spent with you means to you. As a caregiver I can't tell you how much it would mean to hear a thank you.

      over 3 years ago
    • karen1956's Avatar

      What a wonderful sister you have....but a tough situation to have to tell her its time to go home....What about a girls night out and tell her how much you appreciate all her help, but that she needs to be home for her family....that you have take enough of her time....is there a special gift that you can get her...something that she wouldn't get for herself to say thank you...

      over 3 years ago
    • Clyde's Avatar

      Tell her thank you, but that now, if you are truly going to recover fully, you have to see if you can do this on your own. That that is the next step in your journey and as much as you would love to have her stay, you have to start walking on your own. That you will call her the instant you feel you need her back. Make her a part of your getting back to normal.

      over 3 years ago
    • Beannie's Avatar

      I can relate - even though you appreciate it - sometimes you need to just be able to deal with it yourself (at least I do) but be sensitive - I have learned that sometimes this is the other person's way of dealing with your situation because it is hard on our loved ones as it is one us and they do the best they think to help out. I am glad you have support system - means a lot. Good luck!!

      over 3 years ago

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