• end of life

    Asked by danpb13 on Tuesday, November 5, 2019

    end of life

    well sad to say that my soulmate the love of my life my ride or die husband of 24 years passed on Sunday October 26 @5:25 AM. He was surrounded by his/my whole family & some friends. he was waked on Monday & will be buried on Saturday (was creamated). I'm in denial & just think that this is like a dream & he'll walk through the door anytime but he wont. How do you move on, how long will the stages of grief go, as this site is called WHATNEXT will happen.

    8 Answers from the Community

    8 answers
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      I'm so very sorry for your loss. Was he in hospice care? If so, many hospices have bereavement services. When my mom died under hospice, I participated in a meditation workshop. Grief is very personal -- each person has their own unique journey. My mom died July 2014. There are still some holidays or birthdays that get me. One year my birthday is fine, the next I'm a mess. I think those days will always pop up occasionally. I still miss her. I still talk to her -- her ashes are in my living room, along w/3 cats... Luckily, mom was a weird old cat lady. You do what feels right to you. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to cry, do it. It will get easier, but it's on it's own timetable. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

      14 days ago
    • KB2013's Avatar
      KB2013

      I lost my husband suddenly June 28, 2010 and think of him everyday. You are in a lonely place now, a void exists that no one can fill and all you can do is accept the kindness of those around you during this time of mourning. Don't concern yourself with 'stages of grieving' as it's different for everyone. My only advice is to not make rush decisions, this isn't a good time for major changes; allow yourself a year, if possible. I offer you my sympathy and wish you peace.

      14 days ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      We are terribly sorry for your loss. Even though we sometimes know that it's coming it is hard to accept. We wish you peace and healing with time.

      14 days ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      I’m so sorry for your loss of your husband. As others here said, there’s no timeline for grieving. It’s very hard to do, for most of us. I can’t add anything to what was said here by other WhatNexters, but I send you my condolences.

      14 days ago
    • Coloman's Avatar
      Coloman

      I'm sorry for this. It's one of my fears, that I will not make it. I fear more for my family than for me. I hope they will be OK without me. I wish you the best and to also be OK without him.

      14 days ago
    • kridalou's Avatar
      kridalou

      I am sorry for your loss. Allow your friends and family to help you as much as possible as you try to adjust to the changes coming your way.

      14 days ago
    • JaneA's Avatar
      JaneA

      I lost my first husband back in 2004. He was in ill health but died quite suddenly from renal failure. I isolated myself while I tried to process my life without him. I could see no future at first. Finally, my minister helped me. He said, "Your life as you knew it is over, but your life is not over."

      Those simple words helped me understand that I could learn to live again. It was not easy, but gradually, I made new friends. Then I moved and got a new job. I could often feel his presence and him telling me that he was proud of all of the things that I learned how to do by myself.

      I am so sorry. Losing our spouse is the worst part of being married. But life will return to your life. I have since remarried. I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in 2014, and my new husband was there for me throughout my treatment. God knows our needs.

      14 days ago
    • Jayne's Avatar
      Jayne

      I'm very sorry to hear of your husband's passing. It's a lonely place right now for you but eventually, and in your own time, your heart will start to heal. I agree with the comments made above not to do anything major for a bit. I found myself giving my husband's belonging to anyone who expressed an interest (including his precious Harley) and wonder now if that was my way of making sure other's would not forget him. We all get through this in our own way and time. For me it was a full 2 years before I stopped crying and the fun and good memories started replacing the grief. I have a friend who lost her husband to lung cancer and she was anxious to get out and start her life again after just a few months of his passing. So, I guess "What's Next" is a very personal story - but it's your story and it will continue even though your soul mate is not walking with you through it. The only advice I can share that helped me was to get out into nature - I would walk miles, talking to him through the clouds and sky and it helped me feel a connection. Be kind and patient with yourself, and those around you who might not know what to say but most certainly care. It's a journey none of us want to take, but our human resiliency is astounding - even if you don't feel that way right now.

      13 days ago

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