• ~Family Dilemma~ i know someone like me that both of her Parents have died, both were cremated, a brother has the father in an urn at his

    Asked by GregP_WN on Monday, September 22, 2014

    ~Family Dilemma~ i know someone like me that both of her Parents have died, both were cremated, a brother has the father in an urn at his

    she has the Mother in an Urn at her house. She thinks that they should be together, but the brother wants to keep Dad, she doesn't want to give Mom up. I can understand this since I have been through the same thing. I say let them rotate amongst the kids. Let Mom and Dad "visit" each of them for a period of time, then move to the next one. What do you think is a workable solution to their problem?

    21 Answers from the Community

    21 answers
    • kalindria's Avatar
      kalindria

      I wonder if this is really what they're squabbling over or if there's something else behind this. There are plenty of sensible solutions (many suggested here) that would resolve this and yet this grown people can't come up with them? Methinks there are some unresolved family issues at play here.

      And for myself: ew ew ew! I don't want any ashes and I don't want anyone hanging on to mine. I don't even want to be buried because I think cemeteries and graveside visits are just ghoulish and tie the living to a single location that won't contain my soul, my essence or any part of me other than the empty shell. I want my girls to see a beautiful flower and remember how much I love them, not visit a manicured park full of stones marking names of the departed. Ugh.

      I know this isn't a typical opinion but it's mine. And I've shared with everyone I love so there are not issues after I die. (I also say the word die because that's what I believe we do. "Pass on" is just too wimpy and chicken s**t for me.)

      almost 7 years ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I can give beautiful things to my children for them to remember me. I envision my son driving around with my ashes crying- Momma I love you Did you see that Its A WILd WILD world with everybody looking the W that had a treasure buried under a W. One character was trying to rescue his kidnapped mother- crying and screamming "Momma" a huge weight lifter.

      almost 7 years ago
    • abrub's Avatar
      abrub

      I know my husband and I both want to be scattered, to be free, and to let our children keep our memories, nothing from our bodies. However, in the situation you're describing, why not mix the remains and divide them into the 2 urns, so that the parents will be together, and each of the children will have them.

      almost 7 years ago

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