• Family members. How do you deal with the emotional toll it takes to have your loved one suffer.

    Asked by Heathertrucks on Saturday, June 23, 2012

    Family members. How do you deal with the emotional toll it takes to have your loved one suffer.

    Im just having issues dealing with my dads cancer. Any suggestions for ways to help are really appreciated.

    2 Answers from the Community

    • mamajltc's Avatar

      My husband has been in treatment for stage 4 colon cancer for over 2 1/2 years...(and doing well)...this is a wonderful question..
      You have made the first step by joining this wonderful community.
      When you have time, do a search for support groups...and for the particular cancer that your dad has. I love all groups, but knowing that you are going through similar situations, treatments, side affects, etc as others is a big help.
      If you are comfortable, go to appointments with him. Ask question, chat with people in the waiting room and everyone else. What may surprise you is the gift of comfort and many times laughter that you will get by going. My husband and I call chemo day (which is once a week), date day. We are together in this journey.
      Ask for help. I promise you will get it. Whether it's shopping, or babysitting, or anything you need. When people say Is there something i can do, just say something like...thank you so much..it means alot...would you mind watching the kids while I go shopping, would you mind picking up a few things for dad. The less you do, the less tired you are, and the more you can address all that you have to address.
      NOW-this is the toughest one...Do Something For Yourself...always! If it's cooking , having lunch with a friend, going for a walk (I crochet), spend time playing games on the computer...you cannot live and breathe this disease all the time...and it is better for you and him. It is the hardest thing to do. I have breakfast with my best friend atleast once a month and then when I come home, have so much more to give to my husband.
      And here's another toughy...let yourself cry and scream and be so XXX off..because that is how you feel. I have sobbed and sobbed, and then felt better...
      The most important thing to know, and I promise you...is that you are never alone, and always feel comforted by this. And always, choose hope

      almost 9 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar

      I am a 3 time survivor, then lost my dad 2 years ago to prostate cancer, that went rogue. And 2 months later Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. We lost her 10 months later. It is the hardest thing I ever had to do. We took care of both Mom and Dad in hospice care in our home. While it was a hard thing to do, I was glad, and felt good that we were there to take care of their every need. I wouldn't have wanted them to go through this without me being there. So, while it is hard for you, just know that your dad is lucky to have you there, and you will one day be glad that you were able to help him through it.

      Good luck to you and your dad, I wish you the best!

      almost 9 years ago

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